#1321

HenryKrinkle posted:

gyrofry posted:

i had a few more feet that night,

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9819924



that's pretty interesting honestly

#1322
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#1323
Saturday nite chat: how and where did you folks first get redpilled? Also, when whill the rhizz support webm?
#1324
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#1325


Sam Adams 26.2: It'll Blow Your Socks Off!™

Edited by le_nelson_mandela_face ()

#1326
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#1327

le_nelson_mandela_face posted:

http://blog.samueladams.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Boston-262-Brew-Logo.jpgSam Adams 26.2: It'll Blow Your Socks Off!™



Craft Beer International

#1328
American Cider: The Autobiography of the Most Lethal Ciderer in U.S. Distillery History by Sam Adams
#1329
There are so many fucked up weirdos I have met on the Internet and I'll never be able to share their memory. What a tragedy
#1330
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#1331
i was just remembering the incest anime dude who was a raw food guy and thought corn was poison but used heroin
#1332
my favourite poster (not on SA) was a black guy in the US who was under house arrest for punching a cop. he argued that the ayn rand version of libertarianism was right, but that people should live as communists within that framework. you can probably imagine how often he broke the brains of liberal posters.
#1333

getfiscal posted:

my favourite poster (not on SA) was a black guy in the US who was under house arrest for punching a cop. he argued that the ayn rand version of libertarianism was right, but that people should live as communists within that framework. you can probably imagine how often he broke the brains of liberal posters.



thanks. i stand by everything i posted back then.

#1334
the more i think about it the more i think "oppression olympics" is the worst term that has ever been come up with on the left.
#1335
every single person in the world who is the slightest bit political thinks they're being oppressed or victimized. every single one. in fact, one could make the argument that being political is entirely a process of bitching about ones' victimization, and who the oppressors are is what determines your ideology. so pre-emptively discrediting the point that some peoples' claimed oppression is comparatively irrelevant is self-destructive to an extreme degree
#1336
can you explain this again using pornography as an example?
#1337

le_nelson_mandela_face posted:

every single person in the world who is the slightest bit political thinks they're being oppressed or victimized. every single one. in fact, one could make the argument that being political is entirely a process of bitching about ones' victimization, and who the oppressors are is what determines your ideology. so pre-emptively discrediting the point that some peoples' claimed oppression is comparatively irrelevant is self-destructive to an extreme degree

yeah but are people who say that really the problem. like cops are breaking limbs like they own stock in prosthetics etc. so i'm not sure it's some tumblr user that's the problem here.

#1338

libelous_slander posted:

can you explain this again using pornography as an example?



sure. take a porno scene where a dude is spanking a chick. she believes herself to be oppressed by Big Pharma, while he is oppressed by the Brady campaign and Obamacare. in reality they are both white people in the first world so any suffering they experience is irrelevant if not desirable

#1339

tpaine posted:

the whole staev thing was one of the funniest things ever to happen in my life and not a single person who wasn't there will ever experience it



share the wealth! explain! you lived to tell the tale, so do it!

#1340

le_nelson_mandela_face posted:

libelous_slander posted:

can you explain this again using pornography as an example?

sure. take a porno scene where a dude is spanking a chick. she believes herself to be oppressed by Big Pharma, while he is oppressed by the Brady campaign and Obamacare. in reality they are both white people in the first world so any suffering they experience is irrelevant if not desirable

Thank you. as a faily planet subscriber, this kind of writing is the only thing that makes sense to me.

#1341
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#1342
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#1343
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#1344
staev is what would happen if steven colbert created a character mocking DC liberals from a left perspective
#1345
staeven colbert
#1346

tpaine posted:

Went out with Stephanie and her crew tonight to see The King and I (not the inferior Ted "NIGGER FAGGOT" Stephens versions, god fuck Ted Stephens that motherfucker), and I casually mentioned that I've aqcuired the ability to digest bone and gristle, and that our children, should I someday put the Christian girl on a dowel, might also have this ability, which GOD-FORBID might be useful to them someday if food supplies become scarce. Then this little twelve year old Catholic girl who is cute as a button but a vicious cunt (must have gotten that from her mother, a rape victim) tried to sabotage me by telling us about her brother, who has opposable thumbs. Yeah, when the end times come around, which will be god's will and something we'll just have to accept, whose children are going to be digesting offal and living fat and happy and whose are going to be hanging from branches real good looking for food which DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST ANYMORE.

Maybe I'm just being depressive again? Time for a Xanax and some Trader Joes !_!
------------------------
Went to go see Lawrence of Arabia tonight with Sruti and her parents. After I tried to take them to Trader Joe's and discovered that her strictly Muslim parents would only eat Halal food prepared specially by a designated chef, I nearly told them to go home right then, and for Sruti to get the fuck out of my life, but then a Guys and Dolls number came on the radio and I calmed down. I suggested that we get some falafel...some HALAL FALAFEL ~_^ but no one seemed to get the joke. You can bet they will get a strongly worded explanation from me tomorrow. The rest of the date went well with the exception of the strong odor Sruti kept emanating. It was not altogether unpleasant, but I've put MANY Christian girls on dowels before (No you haven't Staev you are teh GAY ^_^) and I've never noticed it. Maybe it's something particular to the Musselmen race (this is what they were called in Byzantium, which btw I am fucking obsessed with)
-----------------------
Had a burglar break into my apartment last night; luckily I made it through the ordeal unscathed thanks to God and his constant watchfulness. As soon as I heard a scraping noise at my front portico, like Justinian when Musselmen came calling at Byzanium's western frontier, I knew something was amiss. I quickly grabbed my Walther P38 (a replica of the gun famously used by the Nazis in the movie version of the Sound of Music, set me back a pretty penny but it was worth it ^_^). My intuition proved correct as I entered my living quarters to find a dark-skinned miscreant attempting to make off with BOTH my antique ancient Roman oil lantern and my plasma TV (as well as the Jesus Christ Superstar DVD within, although I doubt he knew about the DVD or would have wanted it being amoral scum). Without hesitation I drew the weapon and said "Beautiful little lantern. But seriously, it's mine." I put two in his chest but that woke up Angie (a catholic and a pacifist) who berated me for shooting an unarmed man. I told her to get the fuck out of my life, I mean GOD-FORBID, A MAN FUCKING DEFEND HIS POSSESSIONS WHEN HIS HOME IS VIOLATED
--------------------------
Tried the new Baconator sandwich tonight with Connie and her crew. They played a Queen song on the store PA, and I tried to get everyone to sing along but Connie's little sister said she didn't like Queen, because Freddie Mercury was gay. I understood; the man was flamboyantly theatrical, so clearly her prejudice was at least partially his fault. It didn't dampen my enjoyment of this amazing new sandwich, though; it's no Trader Joe's, but it is a meaty reverie unto itself ~_^ (lol just like the 'meaty reverie' you enjoyed last night, GAEV). Connie's friend Brian just got a salad and complained that I was getting something so fatty, and god's honest truth, I got a little snippy with him. I apologized afterward, but GOD-FORBID, A MAN FUCKING INDULGE HIMSELF EVERY NOW AND THEN. All in all I think the date went well; maybe god has finally allowed me to open my heart to another, as I have wanted to do for so long? (I mean connie, not the sandwich, OPENING my heart is the last thing it will do 0_0)
-------------------------
Went to the fertility clinic with my ma today. Tried to bring Connie along for moral support, but she accused me of sexual harrassment just like Tiffany did (I blame it on the mother hen placing lies in her head once again) when I told her where we were going. I'm still not sure why mom wants to bring me here, but it might have something to do with my sobbing mea culpa when I got emotional while listening to "Candle in the Wind." Maybe it's one of those shady clinics that can cure teh ghey ~_^. Anyshit, it wasn't an altogether unpleasant experience except for the doctor prodding me with biceps and commenting that they'd need a bigger pair for this one. I nearly bounced on out of there and told my mom to just get the fuck out of my life, but she took me to Trader Joe's afterward and I realized that this must all be god's plan for me somehow. Maybe if I can become fertile and more fit to bear children, I will finally find someone with whom to share god's love. Mom certainly seemed relieved. She told me that there is one last appointment on Mongay and then after that all her problems will be solved. I know she wants kids but I didn't know she was this worried about it.
-----------------------------------
Hung out with Hermoine and her crew tonight. I was a tad bit uncomfortable with a mixed group of mudbloods and muggles, given the latter's tendency to cause trouble, but I was determined to beat the nefarious efforts of the group's mother hen who had apparently told Hermione that I was unsupportive of abortion rights (this was a press misquote, although I did vote for a bill that seems to limit access to abortions, this was because I support gaytes' rights ^_^ that's because you're a gay, wizard Staev). Anyshit, Harry tried to horn in on my territory, talking crap about my poor family but I told him that I'd put my fiat in his ass if he kept it up. He also tried to insinuate that I wanted to cleanse the state of mudbloods via a powerful border spell. You can be sure I will publish a sternly worded letter about this in the wizard's newspaper tomorrow.

I nearly told them all to get the fuck out of my life (GOD-FORBID, A WIZARD FUCKING SUPPORT TERRIBLE LAWS UNDER THE GUISE OF STATE'S RIGHTS) but I think if I can convince this crew, I can convince anyone and I might have a chance nationally. Perhaps God will finally put me in a position to influence people for the better. I want to be a shepherd, God, give me a flock.
--------------------------
Took part in a raid on Haditha today with Bryan and his crew. As we rode the tanker Bryan tried to play Ride of the Valkyries, but I changed it to the main theme from the King and I (the 1978 stage version NOT the Yul Brynner abomination) and we all got a little teary-eyed. Maybe that's why we didn't see that Haji that we ran over on Bagra street. We didn't feel too badly because really the onus of making his presence known to us is on him; his failure to do expectedly led to his death. We didn't report the incident because once we got to the checkpoint we noticed that there was a package from my mother, which meant TRADER JOES, and the guys would be all over me trying to perform (GHEY SEXUAL ~_^) favors for a bite of my turkey sub. GOD-FORBID, A MARINE FUCKING ENJOY HIS SANDWICH IN PEACE. They're good guys anygay, and I'd stand up for them in a jury in a heartbeat. Those civvies are downright obtuse when it comes to understanding what soldiers in our positions go through out here. I can't even find any decent literature on ancient Byzantium, and it's not like it wouldn't apply to our current occupation or anything 0_0. Received a letter from Connie as well in my package; looks like the mother hen finally convinced her to press charges for my drunken unsolited groping last May. I maintain that she should have made her desires that I not violate her more clear, in a way that I in my drunken state could have comprehended. It's really her responsibility to do so.
-----------------------------------
Almost got it on with Connie tonight. We were sitting in my room enjoying a little Marvin Gaye (You always enjoy teh Gaye Staev o_O) and even though she recoiled at first I explained to her that her friend only told her that stuff about me because she is jealous of her. Finally she relented and I got out my dowel. I was set to bust out a line from Neon Genesis Evangelion about love being like a "Rei of sunshine" (she is an anime fan too) but right at the perfect moment this fucking cyborg just burst right through my dorm door. GOD-FORBID, A MAN FUCKING GET IT ON WITHOUT A MURDEROUS FUSION OF MAN AND MACHINE INTERRUPTING. I knew he was sent by the mother hen but I didn't say anything because OMG, CYBORG. I was pretty pissed off though.
-----------------------------
Went to a Trader Joe's in the American Northeast with McCaine and his crew today. As we were walking in the entrance, a couple of toughs approached us and began jeering at McCaine for his scarf and me for my young azn companion, who is sixteen but doesn't look a day over fourteen. I was about to intervene when I realized that McCaine was acting fairly gay; he should have known that such an ostentatious display could lead to the retribution of a homophobic bully. But still, fawk, I felt like a real Pangloss. I had a good rant queued up and everything too, must have been 35% comprised by the word "fuck." If I see them again you can bet they will receive a sternly worded rebuke. All was well though, as the Joe's was awesome as usual. Connie wouldn't let it go that I didn't try to defend McCaine but I just said GOD-FORBID, SOMEONE FUCKING TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS AS A GAY INDIVIDUAL. Connie was almost out of my life right then and there, but then I saw a row of dowels on sale and calmed myself. :-* Lulz. Anyshit, I picked up a big tub of organic potato chips, and those things are teh sex. Teh gay sex, because that is the kind of sex you like Staev. 0_o
------------------------
Received a curious package in the mail today. I recognized it immediately as the kind that adult retailers send dildos and other sundry unmentionables in so that they are incognito, since I had just ordered a metal vibe for Connie (sure, Staev, just admit that it was for you ;_; ). Apparently it wasn't lubed up enough because she cried out in pain when I suddenly stuck it inside of her one night, and she bled a little, but she was so tense from the mother hen (Alyssa, a 16-year old who is deceptively cute) putting lies in her head about me that there was no way anything sharper than a feather would have left her cervix unscathed. GOD-FORBID, WE FUCKING PERFORM AN UNANNOUNCED PENETRATION TO HIGHTEN THE MOOD. Anyshit, I excitedly tore into the package and my empirical senses did not deceive me. It was a metal vibrator, and with it a single message "SEE WHAT MIDDLE AMERICA THINKS ABOUT YOU OWNING ONE OF THESE." It was then that I realized that my Willa-less reverie had once again been interrupted. Curious, I washed the implement and attempted to use it myself. I wanted to know if Connie was just tight (she was azn after all) or if I really did screw up by brazenly shoving it in. I knew that ancient byzantines had used dildos carved from rock, so it seemed plausible that something hard wouldn't necessarily hurt. Let's just say that limping around the Trader Joe's the next day was an experience most embarrassing.
--------------------------------
Tried to stop a group of heroes coming up the Lete River on a raft today. One of them kept shooting arrows at me and the mother hen of the group kept telling everyone including this hawt azn named Connie to stay away from me. I tried to get close to that delicious morsel but that rumor-spreading tart kept casting fire on me (real cockblocker). I finally lost all my HP so I had to jet (headed to Trader Joes to replenish it). GOD-FORBID, AN OCTOPUS FUCKING GET HIS BIB AND HAVE A LITTLE FUN. Chupon and his crew were at Trader Joe's so I hung out with them for the rest of the day.
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Welp, back in Montergay. I can only thank God that I got out of Mosul with everything in one piece (except for 'Mah soul', lol ~_^). I wondered briefly why God chose to save me and my unit and not the Iraqi women and children around our FOG (forward operating gayse) but then I remembered that he works in mysterious ways. Anyshit, I lost my six fawking ps2 memory cards somewhere in the desert, no doubt already found by some lucky Iraqi child. Hey, Samir, I hope you enjoy playing as Bam Margera in Tony Hawk because I'll never unlock that shit again. Fawk. ANYGAY, I was greeted at the airport by Connie and our son. It was a tearful reunion but I was only interested in getting my great reward. Connie freaked out and I almost told her to get the fuck out my life then and there but it was just a misunderstanding. She thought I had PTSD (penis tasting, sucking disorder ;_; ) and wanted to commit suicide, but I explained that my reward for a life of service awaited me at the local Golden Corral, which offered free goat cheese pizza for all combat vets and a meeting with Gary Sinise. Uproarious laughter was had by all and sundry, and eight slices of goat cheese pizza and a photo op with Lieutenant Dan later this Marine is kicking back and watching Ghost in the Shell. Huh, doing nothing and getting a stipend from the government for it? I'm having flashbacks lol.


that's a mirror

#1347
to put on a dowel transitive verb
1. to carry out god's reproductive will ~_^
#1348
a dude in boston just got arrested for leaving fake bombs at the site of the marathon. epic trollery
#1349
you reach a higher state when your trolls are enough to get you arrested
#1350
mooninites strike again
#1351
Police took one man into custody on Boylston Street Tuesday night near the Boston Marathon finish line and detonated two backpacks after the suspect said that he had a rice cooker in one of them, creating tension one year after last year’s bombings at the event.

Boston police Superintendent Randall Halstead said during an evening briefing that an officer saw the suspect, who was later identified as Kevin Edson, 25, of Boston, walking barefoot down the middle of Boylston Street just before 7 p.m. Halstead said the man was dressed in black, carrying a knapsack, and acting strangely, though he did not provide details of his behavior.

The suspect told the officer that he had a rice cooker in the bag, Halstead said, at which time he was arrested and the bomb squad was called.

“Training kicked in,” said Halstead.

He said the bag was “rendered safe” by the bomb squad, and that another bag located near the scene was detonated in the same manner.

He did not say what, if anything, police found in either bag, except to say there were pieces in the suspect’s bag that may verify what he said about the rice cooker. He said police were investigating who owned the second bag.

Halstead added that officers are on heightened alert during the Marathon festivities.

“We are taking this seriously,” he said.

Edson is scheduled to be arraigned Wednesday in Boston Municipal Court on charges of threatening battery, possession of a hoax device, threat to commit a crime, disturbing the peace, disturbing a public assembly, and disorderly conduct, police said.

Several news outlets showed video footage of what appeared to be Edson walking down Boylston Street wearing black clothes with a large black hat and veil, and shouting “Boston strong.”

Police said the backpacks were detonated “for precautionary reasons.’’

Before the detonations, authorities sealed off the area near the finish line and the Boston police bomb squad arrived.

At about 9 p.m., police detonated one of the backpacks, spokesman David Estrada said. The loud boom near the finish line, a year to the day after the deadly 2013 Marathon bombings, frightened several bystanders. A second detonation occurred shortly after 9:30 p.m., under a steady rain.

Art Johnson, 52, of Natick said he was on Boylston Street when the first detonation went off. Despite Tuesday night’s events, he said he is not anticipating another attack at this year’s Marathon.

The MBTA suspended service at about 9:10 p.m. for Green Line trains operating between Haymarket and Kenmore stations, said spokeswoman Kelly Smith. Service was back at 9:50 p.m. Copley station reopened at 11:50 p.m.

Earlier in the day, survivors of last year’s bombings joined rescuers, public officials, and others for a ceremony at the John B. Hynes Veterans Memorial Convention Center.

Tuesday evening, many onlookers watched the investigation intently on Boylston Street.

John Makkinje, 21, a Boston University junior who ran in last year’s Marathon, said he was surprised by the evening’s events.

“Hopefully just some wacko,” said Makkinje, who plans to run in this year’s race.

Another man, who did not provide his name, was one of several people filming the investigation on a cellphone.

“It’s crazy,” he said. “I’m just on vacation.”

Police began clearing out of the area shortly before 10 p.m., but a large contingent of uniformed officers remained on scene directing vehicle and pedestrian traffic.

Some pedestrians stopped to look at what appeared to the two detonated black bags near the finish line after Boylston Street began to open up again. Officers told the onlookers to keep moving.
#1352
friends in boston said that the rice cookers were filled with confetti
#1353

tpaine posted:

here's a bunch of the fake ones i did, i'm not sure where to get the originals outside of the original wddp thread but that requires archives to view now? even though it's in the garbage forum



all that's pretty funny on its own but you're right, it's not as funny without knowing the poster. Still, like the bible says, love the post and not the poster. what's with the trader joes?

#1354
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#1355
one of the copgoons in GIP gives us insight into the mindset of cops



I don't agree with the illegality of cannabis, but until it's legalised I get a kick out of giving dumb teenagers criminal records.
#1356
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#1357
dont be that way marjorie
#1358
tell nerds you oppose animal testing and watch them chimp out
#1359
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#1360
the mcrib