tpaine posted:yeah just go out and find an attractive lady who is also attracted to you and fall in love with her instead of your friend. easy as 1 2 3
I can go out there tonight with the materials you got and land myself a HB8! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to get punani?
It takes brass balls...
TG posted:yeah, part of the problem is i live in a smallish town with a lot of poverty and virtually nobody in my age group that doesnt have a kid or two by now. im also not the most social person (surely you jest!) and i kind of crush hard and fixate on one person. also i feel a lot of despair because this happens somewhat often and i know maybe i should change my approach but i dont know how without distilling it down to some pua level calculus
move to a largish town
tpaine posted:sainjust
Ironicwarcriminal posted:lol sorry, but yeah i get you. Seems that as we get older our relationships and their challenges take on an added poignancy and all of a sudden it's less about youthful sexuality than deep questions of compatibility and commitment
i guess this is growing up.
lol conec why did you downvote this
TG posted:yeah, part of the problem is i live in a smallish town with a lot of poverty and virtually nobody in my age group that doesnt have a kid or two by now. im also not the most social person (surely you jest!) and i kind of crush hard and fixate on one person. also i feel a lot of despair because this happens somewhat often and i know maybe i should change my approach but i dont know how without distilling it down to some pua level calculus
i could see what you have a problem (the small twon thing makes options limited). sorry bro :\
deadken posted:aside from our shared interests in self-destruction, 20th century literature and the inherent absurdity of the world
'our shared interests in self-destruction, 20th century literature and the inherent absurdity of the world '
so she's a person in a developed country who can read, it's hardly the stars aligning ken
'shared interests' lol be honest mang
deadken posted:i don't think i harm others. at least any more than we all harm others by maintaining the structures of late capitalism merely through existing within them or whatever
i'm really trying hard to avoid subscribing to the school of thought that posits much of leftist thought as a a way of processing or enforcing pathological dysfunctions but......
TG posted:i keep falling in like with girls and then we develop a friendship and i get sad and depressed because i want something romantic and they dont, and then im torn between just grinning and bearing it like nothings wrong, or cutting them off for a while because its bittersweet and painful to hang out with them. in the past ive always gone with the former but its happening again and im thinking i should try the latter this time as a change of pace? and is telling her how i feel just a bad idea, or a terrible idea? oh and i work closely with this girl five days a week
the worst part of being in like is feeling compelled to post e/n posts
a) start acting a touch more distant around her and pretend to get messages, check your phone and laugh and when she asks what you're laughing at just say 'oh just this girl I met, she's great'.
Also: she knows you like her romantically: unlike us chumps, most women have been getting hit on since they were 12 and can recognize male desire
swampman posted:women who will like you back
error: none exist
Dargydoof posted:dude just make an online dating profile with cute pets in your profile picture if you want to meet people
ya why do you think i ever even touch dogs in my life. they are horrible. giant hookworms covered in scalp.
getfiscal posted:swampman posted:
women who will like you back
error: none exist
well not with that attitude
roseweird posted:maybe youre looking in thewrong places and should sleep (methodically) with all your male friends
well hes started kissing them on the way home from Bros Night Out at the local tittyclubs so id say hes off to a good start
deadken posted:probably find someone else who is actually sexually attracted to you & try to be a good friend rather than lusting hopelessly over someone you can't have
people always assuming its about lust rather than genuine love or affection says a lot more about the Friend Zoners than it does the Friend Zonees
(fickles are what tom calls fried pickles)
Ironicwarcriminal posted:Also: she knows you like her romantically: unlike us chumps, most women have been getting hit on since they were 12 and can recognize male desire
this is an illusion. what people describe as empathy is in reality nothing more than psychological projection, and women are slaves to the same assumptions and insecurities men are. what youre observing is the simple fact that for both genders its always much more obvious when someone you dont like is into you because they get really annoying and your own emotions never come into play and cloud your objectivity or trigger your self-doubt. When a girl is really into a guy, theyre just as clueless and oblivious about how to proceed as we are, ive seen it dozens of times. Both sides just sit around waiting for the other to make a move
swampman posted:you know, i hate to reduce it to this, but for a lot of you that means letting go of your completely unrealistic standards,
youd think that would be the case, but 9 times out of 10 the girls these guys end up crushing on are some random mousy bookish sadbrain chick who wont shut up about Doctor Who and the reason things dont work out isnt because shes out of their league but because theyve both been permanently socially retarded by self-diagnosed aspergers. imean who the fuck do you think is spending time on all these dating sites in the first place? i hate to burst your boner but all those HB9s are actually prostitutes
online dating is super unlikely, part of the problem of living in this town is that theres almost no internet presence. there arent even yelp reviews for places in town
i am actually in pretty good shape, as i work out 3-4 days a week.
my standards are probably too high, but i have a feeling im not ugly, i think its more of a personality thing. i am not a sadbrains depressed weirdo; i know how to interact with human beings, its a huge part of my job. i just think i have trouble giving off the vibe of being sexually attractive, my strategy is usually just to be funny and laidback and fun to talk to/chill with.
i am now mildly embarassed about making this thread all about myself and my cliche lady problems
getfiscal posted:i'm actually fairly confident now that i'll be able to get into relationships over the next while. like once i'm working and doing more social stuff. i value myself and i'm making a lot of progress. god bless.
this is good. it is also healthy to focus on yourself improving as an independent person, because attempting this growth in a relationship can result in resentment, codependency, or many other problems.
Superabound posted:nothing says "im a super horny testosterone laden fucking hit it n quit it bro-dawg hardcore PUSSY BANGER" like silently worshiping the same objectively middle-of-the-list chick from afar for years at a time at the exclusion of all other sexual opportunities lol
the technical name is a 'beta orbiter' btw
getfiscal posted:i'm actually fairly confident now that i'll be able to get into relationships over the next while. like once i'm working and doing more social stuff. i value myself and i'm making a lot of progress. god bless.
great to hear man
roseweird posted:deadken posted:
roseweird posted:
deadken posted:
in an attempt to either know true love or destroy myself emotionally i am very methodically sleeping with all my female friends
maybe youre looking in thewrong places and should sleep (methodically) with all your male friends
i dont have very many male friends actually. one or two of them would probably be up for it but i just don't really have any inclinations in that direction
hmm well have you considered that gay boys often have excellent quality crystal
drugs or homewares?
TG posted:i cant move, im tied to my place by the job that i love for at least the next couple years. thems the breaks :/
online dating is super unlikely, part of the problem of living in this town is that theres almost no internet presence. there arent even yelp reviews for places in town
i am actually in pretty good shape, as i work out 3-4 days a week.
my standards are probably too high, but i have a feeling im not ugly, i think its more of a personality thing. i am not a sadbrains depressed weirdo; i know how to interact with human beings, its a huge part of my job. i just think i have trouble giving off the vibe of being sexually attractive, my strategy is usually just to be funny and laidback and fun to talk to/chill with.
sounds pretty solid but the ambiguity is in 'funny and laidback and fun to talk to/chill'. What sort of funny? self-deprecating? laidback as in you would you might hold yourself back from asserting yourself around a romantic interest out of fear you might push them away?