i recently discovered non-dairy almond milk ice cream like dessert product from b&js and it is a revelation
congratulations on recently discovering the revelation that is non-dairy almond milk ice cream like dessert product from b&js ^_^
dessert peanut butter recipe:

- food processor
- 320g honey roasted unsalted peanuts, or regular peanuts
- 72g very warm honey
- 36g peanut oil
- 1 spoonful vanilla extract
- 2 dashes salt
- optional: 1/4 to 1/2 food-processed dried banana chips, or other dried fruit

1. add the peanuts, honey, peanut oil, extract, salt to food processor.
2. grind for about 20 seconds for crunchy.
3. if using, toss in banana chips here.
4. then, grind in 5 second grinds, tasting in between, until it's as smooth as you like.


marshmallow fluff


¾ cup granulated sugar
½ cup light corn syrup
¼ cup water
Pinch of salt
2 egg whites, at room temperature
¼ teaspoon cream of tartar
1½ teaspoons vanilla extract


1. Combine the sugar, corn syrup, water and salt in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Boil, stirring occasionally, until the mixture reaches 240 degrees F on a candy thermometer.
2. While the sugar mixture is boiling, add the egg whites and cream of tartar to a stand mixer fitted with a whisk attachment. Whip on medium-high speed until soft peaks form. The egg whites should be ready and waiting when the sugar mixture reaches 240 degrees F. If the egg whites reach soft peaks before the sugar mixture reaches its temperature, turn off the mixer.
3. Once the sugar mixture reaches 240 degrees F, turn the mixer speed to low and very slowly drizzle the syrup down the side of the mixer bowl. Once all of the syrup has been added, increase the speed to medium-high and beat until stiff, glossy peaks form and the mixture has cooled substantially, about 7 to 9 minutes. Add the vanilla extract during the last minute or two of beating.
4. Use immediately, or store in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

appendix to the other red sauce recipe, this is, red sauce from jar:

- 1 small pot
- 1 frying pan

- red sauce from a jar (preferably roasted garlic)
- butter or olive oil
- a real good chili powder blend, like you went to the mexican market and bought one kind of every dried pepper and ground it in a coffee grinder
- pasta

for better cheap pasta dinner, boil just enough salted water to inflate the pasta. that way when the pasta is done cooking, you got concentrated salty starch water. nothing to drain. use less salt if you normally drain the pasta. while it's boiling, pour in the jar sauce and let the pasta absorb some of the flavor. also when the pasta's cooking, melt the butter/oil in the frying pan with the spices, so the oil absorbs all the spice flavor. towards the end, add the flavored fat to the pasta pot. cook it all down till it's almost sticky. pasta cooks at the same rate if it's a rolling boil or a simmer so play with the dial to hit the target, where it's cooked to perfection when the pot's nearly dry. add parmesan until the sauce is gooey.
real good cornbread

dry ingredients
- 2 cups medium grind corn meal. if its too finely ground that is no good. if it is too course, also no good. bob's red mill medium grind cornmeal is okay but i wish it had a lower uniformity coefficient. sometimes i throw in some grits with the corn meal. i used to get perfectly irregularly stoneground corn meal from a farmer i knew but i moved away sad face
- a little more than a half teaspoon of salt .maybe .75? up to you
- around a half teaspoon of baking powder

wet ingredients
- more than 1.5 cups cultured buttermilk but less than 1.67 cups
- exactly 2 eggs

1 cut your oven on at 425 fakenheit and stick your 10 inch cast iron skilet in there
2 whisk the dry ingredients together
3 whisk the wet ingredients together
4 put out the skillet and add about a half tablespoon of an oil with a high smoke point like canola or corn oil
5 put it back in the oven for like almost ten minutes
6 whisk the dry and wet mixes together good enough to be consistent but don't overdo it. if the batter is too dry add some more buttermilk. if you don't know how to judge the appropriate wetness of the batter rest assured that you will gradually develop this sensitivity in the fullness of time. while we're waiting for that pan and oil to heat up the baking powder is reacting with the buttermilk to create some lift
7 get the skillet out and swirl the hot oil around to coat the whole bottom of the pan and a little up the sides
8 pour the batter into the pan and sort of shake it to get it evenly spread out
9 something like 20-25ish minutes later itll be done. you can do the thing with a knife like you do w cake where it should pull out clean. when the top just barely starts to brown thats usually when i yank it

e: step 8.5 put the skillet back in the oven
ee: lengthened cooking time based on trial and error. my initial 15-20 minute guess was based on a previous version of the recipe with a slightly smaller yield. i had been making smaller pones to stretch out a quart of buttermilk to make three pones but by the third (at a rate of 1/week) it seems to have essentially diminished somehow, resulting in poor chemical levening

Edited by ialdabaoth ()

rhizzone cheapskate vegetarian little red cookbook lol let's do it
i understand that alton brown says to roughly mix the wet and dry ingredients of cornbread, to not create an even consistency. this is dumb and he clearly has no idea what he is talking about, as evidenced by the inclusion in his cornbread recipe of wheat flour and sugar
here is a very good bread recipe:


- A kitchen scale
- 6-8 1L containers
- Parchment paper
- Muffin tin (for boiling water during baking-- can use many things for this)
- Baking sheet
- Clean spray bottle w/ water
- Pastry scraper, or wide putty knife
- Oven and refrigerator

All purpose flour, 10% or so gluten: 53 oz
Vital wheat gluten: 3 oz
(or 56oz bread flour, ~15% gluten)
Salt: 1.2oz / 35g / 1.5 tablespoon / 4.5 teaspoon
Instant Yeast: 0.4oz / 9g / 3 1/2 teaspoon / 1 tablespoon and 1/2 teaspoon
Freezing cold water: 39.4oz

= 97oz, but assume 1oz is lost in the kneading process --> 96oz total food

Why refrigerator bread:
It's very good bread, and the dough lasts so long in the fridge, building flavor, that it can be weighed and kneaded at the start of the week, then baked and eaten gradually over the course of it.

Dividing the dough:
96oz can be divided evenly w/ 2*48oz, 3*32oz, 4*24oz, 6*16oz, 8*12oz. I typically divide it into 6 1L containers, bake ~1 container per day, 2*8oz baguettes.

Both the total quantity of food prepared, and the time over which it's eaten, can help make calories predictable. 1oz of bread flour has around 100 calories, so 1oz of this bread has around 60 calories. An 8oz baguette has 8*60=480 calories.
Over 6 days, 2 people can get around 1/4 of their daily calories from this refrigerator bread, for around 30 minutes of initial prep, and 15 minutes active time each

At 50lbs of flour for $12, plus double that in salt, yeast, gluten, and oven heat/refrigeration, the bread comes to around $0.03/oz of flour, or around $2 per 96oz batch of bread. A person can get 1/4 of their weekly calories for about a dollar. Good deal for not much work or money!

Instructions, day of weighing and kneading:
- Mix dry ingredients, then water, in a big mixing bowl. Plop on the counter, then incorporate (wet all the flour). Scrape down the mixing bowl to limit food waste. Knead at least 10 minutes, stretching and folding. Dough will be sticky and end up pretty springy & tough to knead. If this is your first time kneading bread, check youtube or equiv for a quick suggestion on how to knead (it isn't hard, takes less than one go to learn it).

If making all at once:
- Plop kneaded dough back into mixing bowl. Cover it. Transfer to fridge. Let the dough develop in peace, for 16 hrs minimum, 7 days max. Dough will rise 1.5x-2x.

If baking over the course of a week (recommended):
- Divide dough evenly into lidded plastic containers (preferably HDPE: lowest leachable common plastic to yourself and the water environment). To help the dough release, spray the inside of the containers with vegetable spray oil, or rub the inside with oil. A 96oz batch can be divided as: 2*48oz, 3*32oz, 4*24oz, 6*16oz, 8*12oz. Transfer to fridge. Dough will rise 2x-3x after 2 days.

Instructions, day of baking, proofing:
Proofing and prep:
- Upon taking dough out of the fridge, slam the bottom of the container down on the counter, or strongly tap the bottom, to cave the bubbles in & release the digestive gases from the dough bubbles.
- Proof for 1-4 hours at room temperature. In winter, proof in the oven with the oven light on, or after briefly running it at 200F. But remember to remove everything before pre-heating the oven for baking!

Instructions, day of baking, oven prep:
- With the oven empty, preheat as hot as the oven will go (550F / 300C), and 5+ minutes after the oven claims it's done preheating.
- Fill a muffin tin with water. While oven is preheating, slide it as close to the fire/element as possible, or put it on the lowest rack off to a side.
- Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper, or dust w/ cornmeal, to prevent dough from sticking. A sheet of parchment paper can be reused more than 10 times.

Instructions, day of baking, working the dough:
- While the oven's preheating, carefully plop the proofed dough on a floured counter (near the sink for easiest cleanup). Divide the dough into baking weights:
- For 8oz baguettes: Cut dough with pastry scraper to 8oz weight. Stretch dough to about 2/3 the long length of the baking pan, and then as wide as you can without flattening it much & disturbing the gas bubbles. Fold dough over itself hot dog style, and press in the seam. Stretch dough to the length of the baking sheet. Lay it with its seam down.
To slice top vents, use a sharp razor and a firm, deep, fast stroke. Make long slices, along the baguette length, <45deg. As firm and as deep as can be done without moving, grabbing, or turning over the loaf.
- For 16oz faux-ciabatta: line a loaf pan with parchment paper. Stretch the dough out to twice the width of the loaf pan, so that it's square-ish. Fold each edge towards the inside, so there's a seam down the middle. Gently place the dough in the parchment papered loaf pan.

Instructions, day of baking, actual baking:
- Quickly move the sheet/pan onto the lowest rack
- 8oz baguettes: 550F for 3mins, 485F for 20mins, high humidity, rotate pan midway
- 16oz faux-ciabatta: 475F for 30-35mins, low humidity

Instructions, day of baking, maintaining high humidity:
- For 8oz baguettes:
- Total oven time is around 23-25 minutes. For the first 3 minutes after putting it in, with a spray bottle, spray the sides and the top of the oven every 30 seconds. Do not spray glass.
- When the 3 minutes is up, drop the oven temperature to 485F / 250C. The water in the muffin tin should be boiling to keep the humidity up w/o the spray bottle now.
- Set timer for 10 minutes.
- When timer's up, turn the baking sheet around 180deg, for more even baking (optional)
- Set timer for 10 more minutes, then remove.

- For 16oz faux-ciabatta loaf:
- There's no need to spray the oven with water, since the loaf has much less surface than 2x 8oz baguettes. The challenge is helping the loaf to evaporate enough water.

Instruction, day of baking, judging doneness:
- Every setup's different, and the best timer is the color: aim for a little past golden brown.
- When they're out of the oven, set the loaves on a cooling rack, and wait 5-10 minutes to slice.
- Baguettes should feel light and airy, crust firm, and the faux-ciabatta should feel springy.

Great toppings:
- This bread goes maybe best with salted butter.
- Faux garlic bread: melt 1oz butter with 1 clove garlic, pureed, and some peppery spices or herbs, and saute for 1 minutes. Spread or dunk. A very fast way to make garlic puree is to use a microplane grater: slice the ugly end off the clove, press that into the top of the microplace, and the garlic skin will separate automatically from the puree.
- Olive oil and vinegar keeps it vegan. Same w/ pico de gallo, or avocado+salt+pepper.
- Soft cheeses like brie, or brillat savarin, or pub cheese, or cheese sauce (6oz sharp cheddar+2oz pecorino/parmesan, grated, +1T corn starch, tossed melted into 12oz boiling evaporated milk, plus pepper/herbs)
- coq au vin sauce w/ heavy cream if you fancy
recipie: put the vegetables in the pot with the basil and oregano then add the tomato and the heat for some time; eat when ready (do not eat before ready);
two course meal, first course is two shots of tequila, second course is stir fried mushrooms, edamame, and rice noodles. i think one of the ingredients has MSG but am unclear which.
salad recipe: open package of lettuce/arugula/spinach or endive for a flair and turn it over onto the plate
heres my rosemary bread recipie: add the flour (half brown type, half the white type) and the water and the yeast and the salt and the rosemary, in a big bowl, kinda stir it then dump the mess out on a flat surface kneed untill it is correct, leave to rise then divide into loaf tins and leave to rise again. bake in oven with pan of water, congratulations you have 4 loaves of rosemary bread, slice some immediatly & eat it
chowin down four loaves of bread might actually be eytd
I made tiki masala dish with baked potato, carrot, and chickpeas, + spinach, onion, chicken, jasmine rice and lentils. Very good

ialdabaoth posted:

i saved a bunchof misc vegetable castoff parts and boiled them down intoa stock to make vegetable soup which produced more cast off vegetable parts that i will later boil down into stock to make more vegetable soup with

eventually i will geta pot big enough to make so much soup that each soup produces enough cast off vegetable parts to make the entire next stock all by itself

long term goal: a cauldron hanging over a hearth that i just throw some crap in every few days and eat forever

just readin old foodposts and i wanted to let you know you are describing a perpetual motion machine of soup which is dangerous for your soul and a sin against god. abandon your project before it is too late, soupman

god must be dead now soup is eternal
Eventually you start using so much water for making bigger and bigger batches of soup that it begins to interfere with the water needs for the vegetable crops you need for the soup and you either find a sustainable equilibrium or make vegetable soup extinct.
note to self: seaweed soup? research aquatic vegetables
using frozen peas to treat injury then toss in spices, shake and eat out of the bag with spoon.
Goon Cauldron Soup Toxx Challenge
jeezos christos
having a small temper tantrum because i discovered in the midst of making dinner that my 1kg bag of gochugaru was punctured at some point and the whole thing has become a solid brick of mold.

ialdabaoth posted:

note to self: seaweed soup? research aquatic vegetables

i would strongly recommend trying hijiki for this, it's my favourite dried seaweed

can we just take a minute and give a loud shout out for bread
yes, it's my favorite dried seaweed
what i ate today
-big bag of hot cheetos

i expect to eat myself to death within the week