#1001
They wouldn't have to bail out Uber, they'd have to bail out the banks that invested in Uber
#1002
God damn mobile phone double post
#1003
Elon Musk showed off a pointy truck and from the way he talked and moved, what's left of his brain isn't holding up under its daily cargo of illegal drugs
#1004
he brags that the windows are unbreakable, and when they try to show it off, the windows break, and from that point on he looks like he genuinely wants to die
#1005
you can't convince me the "cybertruck" is real
#1006
elon musk blearily imagining the "total mental breakdown" portion of his fantasy biopic as he speed-shits undigested soylent into a talking LED toilet
#1007
#1008
I bet no one except for him ever believed the windows were unbreakable.

Elon holds court in the conference room, the engineers occasionally look up from their shoes to exchange nervous glances. What will it be this time. The ultrarich supergenius Elon Musk gestures magnanimously: "I want the windows to be unbreakable. Everyone will love it. We'll prove the smears about shoddy construction wrong. Unbreakable windows."

One engineer perks up, grateful of an opportunity for sane conversation: "We can reinforce the windows. Shatter resistant glass, like they have in office buildings. It remains intact when broken. Great idea, we'll get right on it." There's an audible sigh of relief.

"No." The room goes still. "You weren't listening. I want the windows to be unbreakable. How much am I paying you all? You could at least listen. Windows that don't break. That's what unbreakable means."

"We can't-"

"Why am I surrounded by idiot naysayers? Everywhere I go? Where's your vision? Where's your passion? We're building the future. We're giving the people want they want. Unbreakable windows. Indestructible. Do it, never mind the cost. The Fed's paying for it all anyway. Un. Break. A. Bul."

"...Ok Elon." The engineers shuffle out of the room. They'll put in an order for shatter resistant glass. He'll probably have forgotten the whole thing after his nightly Ambien binge anyways.
#1009
slowly roasting to death in my car because the firemen can't break the windows and the doors are in the middle of a firmware update
#1010
yeah i dont fully understand what he thought would happen. bulletproof glass still 'breaks', it just doesn't shatter into a million pieces. nobody clued him in? did he decide to do this demonstration about 5 minutes before he went on stage?
#1011
you have to go into the truck settings and enable joe mode on the windows to trigger the explosive bolts
#1012
a scottish starship engineer showed us how to make these windows
#1013
Yeah I just saw a gif of it and thought "huh, it has bulletproof glass" then kept scrolling. Then it became a big thing and I became confused. In conclusion, all that Musk is is just a dumbass marketing guy and no one told him and he has a head full of juice like everyone already pointed out
#1014
#1015
~*~*~everything that happened, happened as planned and rehearsed, controversy sells like sex~*~*~

changing the endoskeleton to exoskeleton is neat car engineering... it's why a thin sheet of aluminum in a soda can, can resist bending and torque while it's in the can's cylinder, especially under pressure, but if you cut it out with scissors and try to bend it, removed from the rest of the can, the aluminum loses its strength. if you melt the can into a solid rod of aluminum, gram for gram, it will bend and distort easier, than as a skin. other than that it looks like a military vehicle b/c musk is a military contractor and amerika is a fascist state.
#1016
#1017
the tesla truck somehow looks like even worse shit than the revolting trucks it intends to compete against. innovation!
#1018

toyotathon posted:

~*~*~everything that happened, happened as planned and rehearsed, controversy sells like sex~*~*~



probably not

#1019
by that i just mean you see that idea offered every time a high-profile company embarrasses themselves and most of the time they just screwed up. imo it can sometimes get close to that thing where a certain type of pseudo-anti-imperialist thinks every single screw-up by the united states on the world stage is really part of a previously orchestrated plan to actually win and succeed at everything forever. which im not accusing you of toyotaman but you get the gist.

in this case it's elon musk... he has a long history of jumping in to micromanage publicity and launch events, imo he was clearly high on stage and is clearly high all the time now, and before he started applying a chemical blowtorch to his brain every day his vulture-luring charm probably worked to whatever degree something like that "works" in publicity. but here it seems a lot more likely someone just thought, hey you could totally do this, we know the tolerances, and either it was musk himself or musk agreed to it while chasing flashes of light through the rafters with his eyes.

and if he were still the bright-eyed manic-depressive he used to be, he would've been like, yeah see it's absorbing & distributing the force, instead of saying Holy Fucknuggets Ha Ha Oops.

the recent history of Tesla in the public eye has featured a nuisance-level of dollars down the drain because musk keeps wandering out into traffic. it probably won't affect the fortunes of the company much either way compared to, like, all the production line problems it's having. but if this level of surface embarrassment is a master plan then we're going to find out that behind elon musk is like an insane undead wizard or something using a crazy man's weaving mid-life bad trip to draw a sigil across the earth and contain Marchosias.
#1020
yeah i watched the thing and my thought when it happened was how muted the reaction was and how he let him break the window again at full force and also how the news actually covered it the next day, vs the detroit auto show where engineers will work just as hard for years on new engines but fail to make one headline outside the trade press. his non-plussed demeanor i think yeah is either all the drugs or it just didn't shock him, a non-actor at all. bulletproof glass shatters to transfer the energy of the bullet, like a big crumple zone anyway, so what we saw was the glass actually working, so why is it news. and it happened after a really long boring demo of the glass working as planned as if to re-assure. all he had to do to make it news was act like it was a mistake. so the news covered the fact that yes this military vehicle does indeed have bulletproof glass. the entire presentation was desperate and flashy, from the font to the outfits and ATV but i don't make a habit of watching these things so maybe this is just the norm in their culture. what might be true was he honestly doesn't know that bulletproof glass doesn't make bullets bounce off like tom and jerry, since he plays an engineer on the internet but is just a cretinous little scion.
#1021
truck look bad lol
#1022
https://www.plainsite.org/realitycheck/tesla.html
#1023
posting for the yahtzee
#1024
Check thisout https://hotpodnews.com/patreon-capital-an-alternative-to-podcast-financing/
#1025
oops lol https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2020/03/boeing-crashes-43-billion-in-share-buybacks-turn-into-existential-threat.html
#1026
Boeing disclosed that it had negative net orders of -28 aircraft for the first two months of 2020, with most expenditures during those months dedicated to 28 pockets of “non-substance” in the exact size and shape of the 737 MAX. Union representatives reported Thursday that “[M]other Mary, something’s alive in there,” describing it as “hungry for human bone marrow, but not in a good... way”.
#1027
My old highschool history teacher made a point to talk about how corrupt and shit boeing is.
#1028
Oops, lol, it happened again https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-16/u-s-airlines-spent-96-of-free-cash-flow-on-buybacks-chart
#1029
*banging knife and fork on table* stock market crash! stock market crash!
#1030
alles unter
#1031

swampman posted:

Oops, lol, it happened again https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-16/u-s-airlines-spent-96-of-free-cash-flow-on-buybacks-chart


the weird surprising trend of all these companies inflating their prices with buybacks continues... I'm sure its just airlines though, just coincidentally also the first area to show strain during the crisis, there's absolutely nothing to worry about for all the other companies that have surely been practicing careful fiscal responsibility.

like sure, the last stock market crash happened because everyone was doing One Weird Trick to generate fictitious wealth from nothing, but surely the financial sector wouldn't be so stupid as to immediately start doing that again,

#1032
Uber closed its doors today, responding to reports of Flying horse in Saudi Arabia.
#1033
lol @ all the finger wagging over the buybacks. I really thought that the stock market was a rational system of allocating capital, how wrong I was!! What's next? You're gonna tell me the corporate bond market isn't all it's chalked up to be?
#1034

marlax78 posted:

lol @ all the finger wagging over the buybacks. I really thought that the stock market was a rational system of allocating capital, how wrong I was!! What's next? You're gonna tell me the corporate bond market isn't all it's chalked up to be?



yes

#1035
#1036
apparently airbnb is tanking because no one is travelling, and they're putting those places back up for long term rentals. rest in piss.
#1037
US stock markets rose over 7% after New York City announced a plan to convert city parks into temporary mass graves
#1038
#1039


#1040

sovnarkoman posted:


lmao @ this