Elon holds court in the conference room, the engineers occasionally look up from their shoes to exchange nervous glances. What will it be this time. The ultrarich supergenius Elon Musk gestures magnanimously: "I want the windows to be unbreakable. Everyone will love it. We'll prove the smears about shoddy construction wrong. Unbreakable windows."
One engineer perks up, grateful of an opportunity for sane conversation: "We can reinforce the windows. Shatter resistant glass, like they have in office buildings. It remains intact when broken. Great idea, we'll get right on it." There's an audible sigh of relief.
"No." The room goes still. "You weren't listening. I want the windows to be unbreakable. How much am I paying you all? You could at least listen. Windows that don't break. That's what unbreakable means."
"Why am I surrounded by idiot naysayers? Everywhere I go? Where's your vision? Where's your passion? We're building the future. We're giving the people want they want. Unbreakable windows. Indestructible. Do it, never mind the cost. The Fed's paying for it all anyway. Un. Break. A. Bul."
"...Ok Elon." The engineers shuffle out of the room. They'll put in an order for shatter resistant glass. He'll probably have forgotten the whole thing after his nightly Ambien binge anyways.
This is stunning stuff. TESLA tried to have a whistleblower SWATTED, arrested & placed on a mental health hold in retaliation for him going to journalists with safety violations. Bravo to this police officer for documenting the entire interaction in writing https://t.co/OOsBdBRN6s— Ali Winston (@awinston) November 23, 2019
~*~*~everything that happened, happened as planned and rehearsed, controversy sells like sex~*~*~
in this case it's elon musk... he has a long history of jumping in to micromanage publicity and launch events, imo he was clearly high on stage and is clearly high all the time now, and before he started applying a chemical blowtorch to his brain every day his vulture-luring charm probably worked to whatever degree something like that "works" in publicity. but here it seems a lot more likely someone just thought, hey you could totally do this, we know the tolerances, and either it was musk himself or musk agreed to it while chasing flashes of light through the rafters with his eyes.
and if he were still the bright-eyed manic-depressive he used to be, he would've been like, yeah see it's absorbing & distributing the force, instead of saying Holy Fucknuggets Ha Ha Oops.
the recent history of Tesla in the public eye has featured a nuisance-level of dollars down the drain because musk keeps wandering out into traffic. it probably won't affect the fortunes of the company much either way compared to, like, all the production line problems it's having. but if this level of surface embarrassment is a master plan then we're going to find out that behind elon musk is like an insane undead wizard or something using a crazy man's weaving mid-life bad trip to draw a sigil across the earth and contain Marchosias.
Oops, lol, it happened again https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-16/u-s-airlines-spent-96-of-free-cash-flow-on-buybacks-chart
the weird surprising trend of all these companies inflating their prices with buybacks continues... I'm sure its just airlines though, just coincidentally also the first area to show strain during the crisis, there's absolutely nothing to worry about for all the other companies that have surely been practicing careful fiscal responsibility.
like sure, the last stock market crash happened because everyone was doing One Weird Trick to generate fictitious wealth from nothing, but surely the financial sector wouldn't be so stupid as to immediately start doing that again,
lol @ all the finger wagging over the buybacks. I really thought that the stock market was a rational system of allocating capital, how wrong I was!! What's next? You're gonna tell me the corporate bond market isn't all it's chalked up to be?