#1001
Post rating: ~
They wouldn't have to bail out Uber, they'd have to bail out the banks that invested in Uber
#1002
Post rating: ~
God damn mobile phone double post
#1003
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: ~
Elon Musk showed off a pointy truck and from the way he talked and moved, what's left of his brain isn't holding up under its daily cargo of illegal drugs
#1004
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: +
he brags that the windows are unbreakable, and when they try to show it off, the windows break, and from that point on he looks like he genuinely wants to die
#1005
Post rating: +
you can't convince me the "cybertruck" is real
#1006
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: +
elon musk blearily imagining the "total mental breakdown" portion of his fantasy biopic as he speed-shits undigested soylent into a talking LED toilet
#1007
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: ~
#1008
Post rating: +
I bet no one except for him ever believed the windows were unbreakable.

Elon holds court in the conference room, the engineers occasionally look up from their shoes to exchange nervous glances. What will it be this time. The ultrarich supergenius Elon Musk gestures magnanimously: "I want the windows to be unbreakable. Everyone will love it. We'll prove the smears about shoddy construction wrong. Unbreakable windows."

One engineer perks up, grateful of an opportunity for sane conversation: "We can reinforce the windows. Shatter resistant glass, like they have in office buildings. It remains intact when broken. Great idea, we'll get right on it." There's an audible sigh of relief.

"No." The room goes still. "You weren't listening. I want the windows to be unbreakable. How much am I paying you all? You could at least listen. Windows that don't break. That's what unbreakable means."

"We can't-"

"Why am I surrounded by idiot naysayers? Everywhere I go? Where's your vision? Where's your passion? We're building the future. We're giving the people want they want. Unbreakable windows. Indestructible. Do it, never mind the cost. The Fed's paying for it all anyway. Un. Break. A. Bul."

"...Ok Elon." The engineers shuffle out of the room. They'll put in an order for shatter resistant glass. He'll probably have forgotten the whole thing after his nightly Ambien binge anyways.
#1009
Post rating: +++++
slowly roasting to death in my car because the firemen can't break the windows and the doors are in the middle of a firmware update
#1010
Post rating: +
yeah i dont fully understand what he thought would happen. bulletproof glass still 'breaks', it just doesn't shatter into a million pieces. nobody clued him in? did he decide to do this demonstration about 5 minutes before he went on stage?
#1011
lies half the time
Post rating: ~
you have to go into the truck settings and enable joe mode on the windows to trigger the explosive bolts
#1012
lies half the time
Post rating: ~
a scottish starship engineer showed us how to make these windows
#1013
Post rating: ~
Yeah I just saw a gif of it and thought "huh, it has bulletproof glass" then kept scrolling. Then it became a big thing and I became confused. In conclusion, all that Musk is is just a dumbass marketing guy and no one told him and he has a head full of juice like everyone already pointed out
#1014
Post rating: +
#1015
[account deactivated]
#1016
Post rating: +++++
#1017
Post rating: ~
the tesla truck somehow looks like even worse shit than the revolting trucks it intends to compete against. innovation!
#1018
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: ~

toyotathon posted:

~*~*~everything that happened, happened as planned and rehearsed, controversy sells like sex~*~*~



probably not

#1019
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: +
by that i just mean you see that idea offered every time a high-profile company embarrasses themselves and most of the time they just screwed up. imo it can sometimes get close to that thing where a certain type of pseudo-anti-imperialist thinks every single screw-up by the united states on the world stage is really part of a previously orchestrated plan to actually win and succeed at everything forever. which im not accusing you of toyotaman but you get the gist.

in this case it's elon musk... he has a long history of jumping in to micromanage publicity and launch events, imo he was clearly high on stage and is clearly high all the time now, and before he started applying a chemical blowtorch to his brain every day his vulture-luring charm probably worked to whatever degree something like that "works" in publicity. but here it seems a lot more likely someone just thought, hey you could totally do this, we know the tolerances, and either it was musk himself or musk agreed to it while chasing flashes of light through the rafters with his eyes.

and if he were still the bright-eyed manic-depressive he used to be, he would've been like, yeah see it's absorbing & distributing the force, instead of saying Holy Fucknuggets Ha Ha Oops.

the recent history of Tesla in the public eye has featured a nuisance-level of dollars down the drain because musk keeps wandering out into traffic. it probably won't affect the fortunes of the company much either way compared to, like, all the production line problems it's having. but if this level of surface embarrassment is a master plan then we're going to find out that behind elon musk is like an insane undead wizard or something using a crazy man's weaving mid-life bad trip to draw a sigil across the earth and contain Marchosias.
#1020
[account deactivated]
#1021
Post rating: +
truck look bad lol
#1022
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
https://www.plainsite.org/realitycheck/tesla.html
#1023
Post rating: ~
posting for the yahtzee
#1024
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
Check thisout https://hotpodnews.com/patreon-capital-an-alternative-to-podcast-financing/
#1025
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
oops lol https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2020/03/boeing-crashes-43-billion-in-share-buybacks-turn-into-existential-threat.html
#1026
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: +
Boeing disclosed that it had negative net orders of -28 aircraft for the first two months of 2020, with most expenditures during those months dedicated to 28 pockets of “non-substance” in the exact size and shape of the 737 MAX. Union representatives reported Thursday that “[M]other Mary, something’s alive in there,” describing it as “hungry for human bone marrow, but not in a good... way”.
#1027
Post rating: ~
My old highschool history teacher made a point to talk about how corrupt and shit boeing is.
#1028
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
Oops, lol, it happened again https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-16/u-s-airlines-spent-96-of-free-cash-flow-on-buybacks-chart
#1029
Post rating: ~
*banging knife and fork on table* stock market crash! stock market crash!
#1030
[account deactivated]
#1031
Post rating: +

swampman posted:

Oops, lol, it happened again https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-16/u-s-airlines-spent-96-of-free-cash-flow-on-buybacks-chart


the weird surprising trend of all these companies inflating their prices with buybacks continues... I'm sure its just airlines though, just coincidentally also the first area to show strain during the crisis, there's absolutely nothing to worry about for all the other companies that have surely been practicing careful fiscal responsibility.

like sure, the last stock market crash happened because everyone was doing One Weird Trick to generate fictitious wealth from nothing, but surely the financial sector wouldn't be so stupid as to immediately start doing that again,

#1032
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: +
Uber closed its doors today, responding to reports of Flying horse in Saudi Arabia.
#1033
Post rating: +
lol @ all the finger wagging over the buybacks. I really thought that the stock market was a rational system of allocating capital, how wrong I was!! What's next? You're gonna tell me the corporate bond market isn't all it's chalked up to be?
#1034
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: ~

marlax78 posted:

lol @ all the finger wagging over the buybacks. I really thought that the stock market was a rational system of allocating capital, how wrong I was!! What's next? You're gonna tell me the corporate bond market isn't all it's chalked up to be?



yes

#1035
[account deactivated]
#1036
Post rating: +
apparently airbnb is tanking because no one is travelling, and they're putting those places back up for long term rentals. rest in piss.
#1037
Post rating: +
US stock markets rose over 7% after New York City announced a plan to convert city parks into temporary mass graves
#1038
Post rating: +
#1039
Post rating: +


#1040
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +

sovnarkoman posted:


lmao @ this