#8241
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Edited by toyotathon ()

#8242
Insomnia is back and the pills ain't helping. Truly this is the blurst of times.
#8243
all the best Populares.
#8244
Thank you cars. Driving home today I saw a sign holder crying into one hand and holding her advertisement in the other, jesus fucking christ.
#8245
I have been in Hungary the past couple weeks and boy let me tell you, the collapse of socialism was and is a tragedy.
#8246
outside of budapest? maybe you can elaborate a bit?
#8247
Yes, fortunately I had the opportunity to travel outside Budapest (I did stay there and also Prague for a few days), as my SO’s family is Hungarian.

-Purely in terms of the eastern European cities, this quote is as true as ever: “The greater part of Western Europe might then assume the appearance and character already exhibited by tracts of country in the South of England, in the Riviera and in the tourist-ridden or residential parts of Italy and Switzerland, little clusters of wealthy aristocrats drawing dividends and pensions from the Far East”.

-Prague is essentially dominated by British and German tourists looking to party. Budapest is the same but the day I was there was the Pride March and the city was occupied by literally hundreds and hundreds of police. I saw multiple little fascist gangs counter protesting, and speeches in public parks about “returning to tradition” etc etc.

-Lots of homeless

-friend of the family out in the country was discussing her son’s engineering job in Budapest a factory with Samsung. Lots of migrant labor from post soviet countries moving west into “slave labor conditions” in the factories.

-There’s actually tons of fascist men all over, I’ve seen them at gas stations and train stations out in the country, some of which were armed.

-very dilapidated infrastructure all throughout. Big contrast between cities (the only thing westerners ever see) and the countryside.

-everything that was ever a communist monument or name or symbol has been changed or destroyed. All the apartment blocks are still there, the parks, etc. Haunting feeling, in the sense of a lost future. It can be sad to feel that so much effort in the last century is gone, fascism is back.

-had a discussion with an older woman who’s father was the mayor of a town in east Hungary during the war. She remembers the Soviets coming through. Her father was required to have a meeting with the soviet officers whilst it was a front city. The officers would not eat any food that was not tasted beforehand by her family (smart). Some soldiers were unfamiliar with western toilets (love this honestly, the underdeveloped regions of the planet overwhelmingly defeating the Nazi war machine). Briefly mentioned that a young male organization of “scouts” were immediately arrested and shot in every Hungarian town. Probably a fascist organization. I want to read more, don’t know what to read though. I downloaded Glantz’s stuff just to read more about the Red Army though

I’ll remember more later
#8248
.
#8249
ive just been working a lot. i post more on twitter cos its easier to do that. i read like 5 pages a week. i can no longer write. it may be no longer possible to die.
#8250
im also frustrated with this attempted mass org i started with some people but dont know how to salvage it. thats about it
#8251
just persisting is fine IMO, i think one of the big ways groups psych themselves out in the West is by worrying it's a waste of time & resources to continue to exist when that's actually hard work and probably useful in situations where revolution doesn't seem likely to happen soon. There are a lot of ways to do that without becoming a joke like Platypus or an entirely different kind of joke like CPUSA. Maybe this is not the issue though idk.
#8252

stegosaurus posted:

it may be no longer possible to die.


cars posted:

just persisting is fine IMO


in lieu of posting an update to the life thread i will quote this

#8253
fifth day in the UK. have not noticed any substantial difference from all the other white people countries. The ice cream is different
#8254
I'd say capitalism erases culture but the UK and it's offshoot settler nations never had any culture.
#8255
my gf is a left-libertarian "free market anarchist" and we were talking about hong kong, and afghanistan, and i'm frustrated because iraq came up and i can't remember every detail about kuwait and iraq and i just had to send a link to killing hope after the phone call was over. i know that's fine to use references and stuff but i can't get over the fear i',m being judged and have to be perfect in debate
#8256
guess thats grist for th e mill, will run by my tankie lacanian analyst tomorrow. i've already talked about the paranoia this relationship has caused (thinking my gf is a spy or recruiter) because im insane, at least he understands. as marxists, we agree something had to lknock us out of the cpollecitive delusion into this position of tankie-l;acanianism
#8257

graphicalUSSRinterface posted:

my gf is a left-libertarian "free market anarchist"


let me talk to her.

#8258
actually let me tell you about how a few hours after i got off the phone i was milling over whether shes trying to gauge my sophistication as a revolutionary for nefarious purposes uhhhh i talk to analyst today i am a crazy person
#8259
actually, that self-awareness is what stands between you and madness. nurture it.
#8260

littlegreenpills posted:

fifth day in the UK. have not noticed any substantial difference from all the other white people countries. The ice cream is different


i think it's worse because everything we call white cultureless garbage actually came from somewhere, and most of it came from this black white hole

at least the descendant countries have some other influences. this place is like what if you gave chip and dale down at the country club total control for 600 years

have a good rest of your trip!

#8261

littlegreenpills posted:

fifth day in the UK. have not noticed any substantial difference from all the other white people countries. The ice cream is different


In my experience the ice cream in the uk is the same as it is in the rest of europe

#8262
the garden centers are nice, reccomend them.
#8263

cars posted:

just persisting is fine IMO, i think one of the big ways groups psych themselves out in the West is by worrying it's a waste of time & resources to continue to exist when that's actually hard work and probably useful in situations where revolution doesn't seem likely to happen soon. There are a lot of ways to do that without becoming a joke like Platypus or an entirely different kind of joke like CPUSA. Maybe this is not the issue though idk.


the issue is we were trying to intervene in/support struggles of homeless people against cops, bosses, the terrible shelter etc and just turned into a charity. and nobody seems to care/notice. we're a bit better than a charity but thats the polemical way to describe it.

#8264

cars posted:

just persisting is fine IMO, i think one of the big ways groups psych themselves out in the West is by worrying it's a waste of time & resources to continue to exist when that's actually hard work and probably useful in situations where revolution doesn't seem likely to happen soon. There are a lot of ways to do that without becoming a joke like Platypus or an entirely different kind of joke like CPUSA. Maybe this is not the issue though idk.


yeah the CPC spent a good 20 years after the soviet collapse (rip) just surviving and trying not to collapse into paranoid infighting while CSIS kept trying to sell them weapons as if they'd have any use for them, they've kind of just been gaining steam getting back into Doing Things but membership is exploding (for a western communist party) and they've done some great work

#8265
brought a bag of books into the city for trade-in & run important city errands. hopped on bart with a man whose bike fell apart, in front of me. he shoved it on the train and no sooner, started trying to rip the handlebars off the stem, which you can normally do to adjust the height of the handlebar stem against the fork. i went over to help or whatever. the acid i took earlier was starting to kick in. i wanted to maybe help him make it one piece again, or gather it together, but all he wanted was to boast what a beautiful bike it was. so i joined in like, oh yes those lugs look indestructible, is that a fuji?. this pleased him. he was like, hold on one second. he pulled out two phones, and on the quicker-booting one he brought up pictures of dead rats his cat killed. he showed me a video of him dangling a rat like "you won't even see her strike! watch!". careful to not reveal too much i said, i can't look at pictures of dead rats with you anymore! he kind of left and a german family who kept fumbling with a paper map sat down in his place. i don't like doing drugs and i'm not having a good time. i drew all over the dollar bills in my wallet.
#8266

stegosaurus posted:

the issue is we were trying to intervene in/support struggles of homeless people against cops, bosses, the terrible shelter etc and just turned into a charity. and nobody seems to care/notice. we're a bit better than a charity but thats the polemical way to describe it.



Maybe i can’t say anything more then because that sounds ok to me.

#8267

toyotathon posted:

brought a bag of books into the city for trade-in & run important city errands. hopped on bart with a man whose bike fell apart, in front of me. he shoved it on the train and no sooner, started trying to rip the handlebars off the stem, which you can normally do to adjust the height of the handlebar stem against the fork. i went over to help or whatever. the acid i took earlier was starting to kick in. i wanted to maybe help him make it one piece again, or gather it together, but all he wanted was to boast what a beautiful bike it was. so i joined in like, oh yes those lugs look indestructible, is that a fuji?. this pleased him. he was like, hold on one second. he pulled out two phones, and on the quicker-booting one he brought up pictures of dead rats his cat killed. he showed me a video of him dangling a rat like "you won't even see her strike! watch!". careful to not reveal too much i said, i can't look at pictures of dead rats with you anymore! he kind of left and a german family who kept fumbling with a paper map sat down in his place. i don't like doing drugs and i'm not having a good time. i drew all over the dollar bills in my wallet.



#8268
i'm almost off the antipsychotics, down to 8mg/day. so far so good! my girlfriend is cute. things are good. i'm making progress with my analyst, who is perfect for untangling paranoia stuff with as he is a;lso a tankie. i discovered that my file hoarding is intimately tied in with my psychosis
#8269
teh file hoarding library of pdfs, games and anime is my way of trying to fix the hole in the symbolic, and when im confronted with the difference between my mind and my stash itza a psychosis time
#8270

graphicalUSSRinterface posted:

i'm almost off the antipsychotics, down to 8mg/day. so far so good!


hell yeah. that ztuff is not easy to get off of

#8271
Figured out shitting is easier if I up my fat intake. Incredibly pleasant.

toyotathon posted:

acid



Psilocybin is better, IME

#8272

AZ_IZ_OT posted:

Figured out shitting is easier if I up my fat intake. Incredibly pleasant.

toyotathon posted:

acid



Psilocybin is better, IME



tell me abt it my 1500 cal/day regime has been accompanied with freakishly tiny shits. is this how much normal people shit. i havent bought toilet paper in 2 months

#8273
im tempted to link my analyst to this forum
#8274
Get that analyst an account!
#8275
I link to the rhizzone (dot) net all the time, I link to it in lieu of tipping. Ive linked my plumber. My mistress is a well know poster. I always link.
#8276

dimashq posted:

I link to the rhizzone (dot) net all the time, I link to it in lieu of tipping. Ive linked my plumber. My mistress is a well know poster. I always link.


I just give them chick tracts.

#8277

littlegreenpills posted:

tell me abt it my 1500 cal/day regime has been accompanied with freakishly tiny shits. is this how much normal people shit. i havent bought toilet paper in 2 months


one of my next purchases is gonna be a mountable bidet

get one of those toilet stepstool things, real gamechanger

#8278
saw my first trump 2020 graffiti in the wild, was biking along a river it was sprayed above an almond grove's irrigation sluice gate. all the grass by the river had been burned and the river was stagnant and had 3 tent communities or so drawing off it. when i passed it on the way back another section of grass had a fire in progress and me and another guy had to pull over for the truck to navigate the bike path. the guy kept saying "stupid! stupid! stupid! stupidity!"
#8279

toyotathon posted:

an almond grove's irrigation sluice gate



catchphrase

#8280
heard a story about an old friend. during the fires last summer he mass-texted all of his whole foods coworkers that his wife saw a picture of a horse she thought she knew on Facebook, out in Fresno. it'd gotten lost because of the fires. so he told em he was going to have to quit soon in order for them to take care of it, and he wouldn't be needing that job anymore, because they'd have all that horse money. in the end it turned out it wasn't the same horse.

edit throw me some downvotes next time i do this and it'll register that there's a reason other ppl aren't

Edited by toyotathon ()