#1
mt.real
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~ named in honour of our own candle in the wind :snif: ~

April Showers, May Flowers

Following on the heels of her sold-out London show 'I Guess This Is What We're Doing Now', English stage-and-screen star comedienne Theresa May today attended a launch event for 'General Election', a series of comedic plays to be simultaneously run throughout the United Kingdom by a handful of state-authorized independent touring troupes, or 'parties'. The series of tours, planned semi-covertly over the past few months, will mostly be attended by preselected attendees, though there are rumours unconfirmed at press time that public tickets may be available. Events will be during the day, when most people will be working, and organized primarily in small venues for television broadcast.

The multiple tours will culminate in a televised gala all-star 'dramatic conclusion' night show on Thursday, 8th June, in Westminster, London.

Bake Sale at the Hall

The Friends and Parents of Wicklemore Primary School will be holding a bake sale at Wicklemore Village Hall on Main Street on Friday, 21st April. A variety of muffins, biscuits, breads, jams, scones, and cakes will be available for purchase. Donations welcome, support your community!

Police Blotter

A black male, 25, injured himself while resisting arrest for threatening behaviour in Satchel Hill. No officers were hurt. According to Constable Jim Ames, the police service 'takes community policing seriously and will continue to devote resources to ensure all feel safe. We encourage everyone to continue to participate in the "See Something Say Something" community policing scheme.' Services will be held at Satchel Hill Baptist Church.

Edited by drwhat ()

#2
mt.real
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(uk election chat thread)

supporting Corbyn seems like not the worst thing you could do, but what do actual UKers think
#3
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I've been watching the ongoing rubbish dump fire that is the UK from my hovel in Dublin, and from what i can tell Corbs has been scuppered by the press completely ignoring him, occasionally taking pot-shots on page 5 to call him out of touch or ridiculous, and as a result everyone thinks he's shit and a bad leader, because having someone in a position of power who is not a an incredibly posh autocrat confuses and frightens us and we don't know who to genuflect to and for how long.
#4
mt.real
Post rating: ~

overfire posted:

I've been watching the ongoing rubbish dump fire that is the UK from my hovel in Dublin, and from what i can tell Corbs has been scuppered by the press completely ignoring him, occasionally taking pot-shots on page 5 to call him out of touch or ridiculous, and as a result everyone thinks he's shit and a bad leader, because having someone in a position of power who is not a an incredibly posh autocrat confuses and frightens us and we don't know who to genuflect to and for how long.



i don't know though. the labour brass have tried to kill him repeatedly and he just gets re-elected as leader over and over and over despite nearly every MP and newspaper lining up to call him a confused old pedophile anti-semite maoist terrorist.

otoh i wonder if his left-liberal base was really wounded by him being pro-brexit. if they are all still crying about that then they might be less on fire for him. but i don't know how many pro-brexit leftists exist and are uncovered by the media for the same reason that they can never seem to find any of the hundreds of thousands of people who vote for him in leadership elections

mite b interesting

#5
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I don't think it can be overstated how much libs hate Corbyn over brexit. This is Theresa May consolidating her power. Already I'm hearing thick libs discussing how they'll vote lib dem if there's no danger of splitting the vote because they hate Corbyn and he's a shit leader. The lib fucking dems, who would say anything to get elected then do a 180 so fast their fillings would get ripped out by the centrifugal force.
#6
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i've been wondering why owen jones and sam kriss have turned on corbyn. the brexit scapegoat thing makes sense
#7
"Jpg." - Hank Hill
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i thought this said "ur" community newsletter and i was excited to read rhiznews. imagine my horror when it was cor blimey the queen did a sharte governer
#8
mt.real
Post rating: +

overfire posted:

I don't think it can be overstated how much libs hate Corbyn over brexit. This is Theresa May consolidating her power. Already I'm hearing thick libs discussing how they'll vote lib dem if there's no danger of splitting the vote because they hate Corbyn and he's a shit leader. The lib fucking dems, who would say anything to get elected then do a 180 so fast their fillings would get ripped out by the centrifugal force.



welp

#9
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it really struck me as quite incredible how the parliamentary labour party insisted on taking what should have been a moment to stake out an unassailable position as THE alternative to the torys in the immediate wake of brexit, and instead made this insanely loud and grotesque show of shitting the bed over brexit being jez's fault because he didn't campaign hard or sincerely enough for it. it was clear in that moment that he was so hated by even the most left-leaning powerbrokers that they would much rather see the torys run britain until jez has been safely underground in a biodegradable cornstarch coffin for a good ten years than suffer any threat of him taking out the top job
#10
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weh
#11
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Tim Farron is trending on Twitter lol
#12
UNUSUALY COOL
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a pimp's love is very different from that of a square
#13
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great, an inferior sequel set in britain, just what everyone wanted
#14
The chickens always come home
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the french implosion is first, next week
#15
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thats a spin off, not a sequel
#16
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finally, a chance to say Brexit was Wrong because the EU has removed all roaming costs
#17
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this is cursed land, drenched in the blood of millions, it reeks of death, it cant be redeemed, truly the only solution it to distribute its poulation throughout the third world, death to britain, death to amerikkka, h ail satan
#18
Post rating: +++++
ttheresa mays election slogans are quite shomething:

"strong and stable leadership in the national interest"
"an open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded"
"blood for the blood god, skulls for the skull throne"
#19
"Jpg." - Hank Hill
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genderswapped trump v. hillary 2 in france now
#20
UNUSUALY COOL
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gendertrumped swamp v. francery
#21
"Jpg." - Hank Hill
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https://www.indy100.com/article/ukip-candidate-gisela-allen-claimed-sexually-attracted-gorillas-7697986

A Ukip candidate has announced she's sexually attracted to gorillas
#22
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#23
mt.real
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the front page of the Times today has some other stuff and then COMMUNISTS COME OUT FOR CORBYN. they have exhausted their entire ammunition of "did you know he's an actual leftist maybe??? even Tony Blair thinks he should be ritually drowned in a lake!!" and are reduced to just reporting that a couple of small leftist parties have said they won't compete with Labour this year by running their candidates that get ~500 votes each.

"may be an embarrassment"

unlike everything that Theresa May does / doesn't do daily
#24
mt.real
Post rating: +
i will probably post itt a lot over the next month, apologies in advance, it's the first uk election i get to vote in
#25
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Who you gonna vote for, Dr cat? My liberal buds are all ditching the greens and voting for corbs
#26
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Stunning and brave
#27
Online
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https://samkriss.com/2017/04/24/corbynism-or-barbarism-part-ii/
#28
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one of ukips election pledges is mandatory yearly vagina inspections for non white children O_o
#29
mt.real
Post rating: +

tears posted:

one of ukips election pledges is mandatory yearly vagina inspections for non white children O_o


i can't tell if this is a joke or not because it's 2017 and everything is insane, but your jokes are usually better than this, so i think it might be real. what the shit

#30
mt.real
Post rating: +

overfire posted:

Who you gonna vote for, Dr cat? My liberal buds are all ditching the greens and voting for corbs



Corbyn. I'm not sure if he has the fortitude to remain leftist while actually in power, but it seems like the best bet for that I'll be able to make in a general election for a long time.

#31
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drcat posted:

tears posted:

one of ukips election pledges is mandatory yearly vagina inspections for non white children O_o

i can't tell if this is a joke or not because it's 2017 and everything is insane, but your jokes are usually better than this, so i think it might be real. what the shit


had to check for myself, yep, wow, minimum yearly and whenever returning from overseas trips. paul nuttals of the ukips has really outdone himself this time

#32
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drcat posted:

tears posted:

one of ukips election pledges is mandatory yearly vagina inspections for non white children O_o

i can't tell if this is a joke or not because it's 2017 and everything is insane, but your jokes are usually better than this, so i think it might be real. what the shit


the only joke here is this fwiggin election!....hahaha, ill be here all week folks

#33
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drcat posted:

tears posted:

one of ukips election pledges is mandatory yearly vagina inspections for non white children O_o

i can't tell if this is a joke or not because it's 2017 and everything is insane, but your jokes are usually better than this, so i think it might be real. what the shit



yeah this is true, ukip really care about Muslim kids so they're going to combat fgm by making young girls have their genitals inspected yearly

#34
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drcat posted:

tears posted:

one of ukips election pledges is mandatory yearly vagina inspections for non white children O_o

but your jokes are usually better than this


...thought this had passed me by didnt ya!

#35
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you never know what non white children hide up their genitals these days, it could be a tampon, some lewd sex toy or worse, another, smaller non white child
#36
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i posted about the clinton family anti-antiwar history without realising who chelsea's patriotic protest was against
https://rhizzone.net/forum/topic/14060/?page=3#post-345625

Still, Chelsea found her way to an anti-war demonstration that took place in November at the medieval city’s town hall. As a Labour M.P., Jeremy Corbyn, spoke, a group of American boys unfurled a large American flag. Chelsea was with them. “Remember the September dead!” one of them screamed. They were asked to leave.

http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2002/06/chelsea-clintons-oxford-whirl/amp
#37
mt.real
Post rating: ~

le_nelson_mandela_face posted:

genderswapped trump v. hillary 2 in france now


i finally read up enough to settle on an opinion about this. and it's true. Macron is going to lose.

#38
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i called the trump victory so why not double down. le pen is gonna win
#39
Online
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I think she wont'.
#40
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Okay. Whats the bet.