#41
[account deactivated]
#42
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#43
penitent
Post rating: ~

babyfinland posted:
gee i wonder why youre bored, if youve never been invested in anything, must be the Nature of the Universe and not your bad attitude



im not bored exactly, its not like my life is unexciting. im jealous of you and your sincere faith in the god of no butt fuckin but im not sure if its something thats accessible to me

#44
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
read thomas merton
#45
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

deadken posted:

babyfinland posted:
gee i wonder why youre bored, if youve never been invested in anything, must be the Nature of the Universe and not your bad attitude

im not bored exactly, its not like my life is unexciting. im jealous of you and your sincere faith in the god of no butt fuckin but im not sure if its something thats accessible to me



do you think it appeared accessible to me at first?

#46
penitent
Post rating: ~

discipline posted:
List of the people in this world who found transcendent experiences and spiritual enlightenment because of drinking alcohol:



just because nobodys done it doesnt mean its not possible

#47
tardy on these heaters
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misery is just evasion
#48
penitent
Post rating: ~
im not miserable, my life owns, i';m just..... hollow. w/e its tolerable really
#49
[account deactivated]
#50
[account deactivated]
#51
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
dont play games with me boy
#52
penitent
Post rating: ~
lol no i just wanted to piss off my jewish dad, also, society. i was a teenager
#53
tardy on these heaters
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youre still a teenager lol
#54
penitent
Post rating: ~
are u two posting from the same room lol. im drunk. bedtime
#55
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
no. good nite akhi
#56
[account deactivated]
#57
[account deactivated]
#58
Post rating: ~

deadken posted:
tonight has been incredibly depressing. i went to this party + am slightly drunk but not drink enough to actually have fun + one of the girls im seeing was there but we couldnt do anything because shes looking after her friend and i couldnt get talking to anyone else because she was there..... but underneath all these bullshit petty worries i just feel an incredible sense of aimlessness, i'm living every day in vague order with no guiding narrative, just kinda drifting...... so pomo

this is generally how i feel every time i go out, particularly if i go home alone and sleep alone, just this vast chasm of emptiness at the center of my being {that sounds dramatic but there's no way to overdramatize just how empty i constantly feel}, and my thought is always, "well, this is pretty much it," even though i feel better by the next day. even when things "turn out good" that feeling is lurking in the background, and seems to be getting louder/hollower/echo-ier by the day

#59
Post rating: ~
Lol at the "faith havers" bludgeoning people because of how they feel. "you're living wrong," well, of course, but nobody gets anywhere without fucking up along the way. don't be obnoxious, you're not supposed to be evangelizing anyway. every ounce of hollowness somebody feels draws them closer to something real, regardless of your proselytizing.
#60
Kurdt
Post rating: ~
i love to drink and i feel great most of the time
#61
Post rating: ~
same, though yesterday i drank for the first time in a while without having any amphetamines {lady} in me and whoaaa buddy
#62
Poronto
Post rating: +

discipline posted:
List of the people in this world who found transcendent experiences and spiritual enlightenment because of drinking alcohol:



the amazing turco-Persian poet Rumi beloved of community college english lecturers and aging fat divorced women everywhere

#63
Poronto
Post rating: ~
I'm really perversely happy to hear that having a life full of Own can nontheless be so unsatisfying sorry ken
#64
[account deactivated]
#65
[account deactivated]
#66
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

Impper posted:
Lol at the "faith havers" bludgeoning people because of how they feel. "you're living wrong," well, of course, but nobody gets anywhere without fucking up along the way. don't be obnoxious, you're not supposed to be evangelizing anyway. every ounce of hollowness somebody feels draws them closer to something real, regardless of your proselytizing.



cry more loser

#67
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

littlegreenpills posted:

discipline posted:
List of the people in this world who found transcendent experiences and spiritual enlightenment because of drinking alcohol:

the amazing turco-Persian poet Rumi beloved of community college english lecturers and aging fat divorced women everywhere



speaking of rumi theres a good translation out now that revises the orientalist ones that are prevalent in english

http://www.amazon.com/Quatrains-Rumi-Jalaluddin-Muhammad-Balkhi-Rumi/dp/1597314501/ref=wl_it_dp_o_npd?ie=UTF8&coliid=ITZ4QGFMO2FS3&colid=OQ49ZKFPXJZQ

#68
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
#69
penitent
Post rating: ~

discipline posted:
Lol at how fast you ran from the truth, ken



ur obsession with 'truth' is perverse and myopic

#70
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

deadken posted:

discipline posted:
Lol at how fast you ran from the truth, ken

ur obsession with 'truth' is perverse and myopic



truth stands obvious and free from error akhi

#71
penitent
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i believe in god, in a fairly abstract sense, and maintain a commitment to christianity as the revolutionary faith of the slaves and the subaltern
#72
[account deactivated]
#73
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

deadken posted:
i believe in god, in a fairly abstract sense, and maintain a commitment to christianity as the revolutionary faith of the slaves and the subaltern



read thomas merton

#74
penitent
Post rating: ~

discipline posted:
So how did good ol' Dad react to you converting to Islam in order to make him angry?



with anger, disbelief, etc, gradually fading into the insistence that it was 'just a phase.' he was right. it was

#75
[account deactivated]
#76
penitent
Post rating: ~
yeah i got down some of the repetitions and the various kneelings etc, started learning the arabic alphabet, kinda abandoned the whole islam thing before i got round to buying a prayer mat and actually making salaat by myself. i never stopped drinking
#77
[account deactivated]
#78
penitent
Post rating: ~
i remember one dude at my school who was super muslim heard i was moving in an islam-y direction and he gave me all these pamphlets and books and instructions and shit and seemed really earnest about it, thats when i knew it had all been a charade, when i was brought face to face with actual genuine faith and devotion and i could see nothing of myself in it, looking through the stuff he gave me i suddenly realised that it was all nonsense, utter nonsense, the form was beautiful but the content was entirely vacuous, i think at that point i tried harder than ever to actually believe, to convince myself that it had all been worthwhile, but i couldn't, it was impossible
#79
Post rating: +
woah woah woah, if someone is going to have an epiphany of some sort and convert, they better try the classics LONG before they go for some modern religion. This is totally unacceptable, there is no excuse to just give yourself over to a religious movement before trying philosophy; there is plenty of direction and goodness in the classics, don't take the easy way out
#80
penitent
Post rating: ~
i think for my next big writing thing i might adopt a comma-heavy run-on sentence style always hovering on the edge of stream of consciousness, influenced by samuel beckett and my posts