Horselord posted:it has a flying saucer in it, which they put there in complete sincerity
oh no!! NOT epic!
Horselord posted:it has a flying saucer in it, which they put there in complete sincerity
its hard to believe these guys would put a spaceship in their sci fi movie.. damn, its got a robot in it too
trakfactri posted:Now cars sounds like my dad whenever we watch old TOS episodes together over the holidays. Look at all those colors! Until Star Trek came along, all we had were black and white Westerns and the fucking Smothers Brothers!
That's because I'm your real dad.
INT. PURPLE ROOM - WHENEVER
a woman with a giant beehive haircut and glitter dress is alone next to some big glowing crystal or whatever. there are some shelves in the background with a some stuff the propmaster found in a box on them
the door opens and CAPTAIN KIRK enters, casting shadows in three different directions at the same time. he is escaping from the place
CAPTAIN KIRK: Vanna, you must return my communicator so I can get back to my ship and put an end to this!
VANNA: Oh but I can't! Father would never allow it!
VANNA begins to cry. KIRK slaps her
KIRK: snap out of it!
the other door opens and the bedsheet wearing villain enters with two roman guards
BAD GUY: detain him!
SHATNER'S EXTREMELY OBVIOUS STUNT DOUBLE jumps at one of the guards with both of his hands put together for some reason, and both men roll around on the floor for a while while the amok time music plays again for the 13th time this season
the other guard fires a phaser and accidentally hits VANNA, who vanishes in a bad special effect
BAD GUY: Vanna! No!
dramatic musical sting #2 plays, fade to commercials for winston cigarettes and amphetamine weight loss powders
cars posted:That's because I'm your real dad.
Teach me how to post cars (dad)
Horselord posted:bad news everyone, data's back
data is literally back, in the new picard thing
i hate discovery because its design choices are that you can't have a simple wall panel if you can have fifty pieces of brushed cast iron bolted together in a darkly lit room instead. everything is pitch black except for the tron lines around the edges of people's entirely blue computer monitors. no human being would willingly create or live in an environment like that either. its much worse than TOS for believably
all i want is the look of tng. its bright enough to see and theres no stupid cast iron greebles everywhere. and then maybe some cool morality tales not season long saga's about spock's sister's mum's spacesuit time machine or whatever
- picard's old and sad and has a dog because patrick stewart likes dogs. fans of picard's dune buggy he has because patrick stewart likes dune buggys will know this is a sign of quality
- seven of nine is here and says swears because she's cool now
- a brent spiner faced novelty condom has been inflated to play data again for the first time in 15 years
- there's a new threat, even bigger than a borg cube: a really big borg cube thats blue
- the girl from 5th element is back in goth form
- ship does a barrel roll through a debris field, probably
Horselord posted:anyway heres what we know about slart trec pikard:
- picard's old and sad and has a dog because patrick stewart likes dogs. fans of picard's dune buggy he has because patrick stewart likes dune buggys will know this is a sign of quality
- seven of nine is here and says swears because she's cool now
- a brent spiner faced novelty condom has been inflated to play data again for the first time in 15 years
- there's a new threat, even bigger than a borg cube: a really big borg cube thats blue
- the girl from 5th element is back in goth form
- ship does a barrel roll through a debris field, probably
oh
Horselord posted:the stories it tells are good but its difficult to be invested in it when the science machine is just a red cardboard box with wine gums for buttons, like a child made it. it helps suspension of disbelief if what we're supposed to accept is a working manufactured object can convincingly look like one. of all 60s tv trek definitely aged the worst when it came to this. but i don't think it was a problem at the time, i have a tv from the 60s and the picture quality is bad enough to hide even the least shatner looking stunt double
i hate discovery because its design choices are that you can't have a simple wall panel if you can have fifty pieces of brushed cast iron bolted together in a darkly lit room instead. everything is pitch black except for the tron lines around the edges of people's entirely blue computer monitors. no human being would willingly create or live in an environment like that either. its much worse than TOS for believably
all i want is the look of tng. its bright enough to see and theres no stupid cast iron greebles everywhere. and then maybe some cool morality tales not season long saga's about spock's sister's mum's spacesuit time machine or whatever
Nah
damoj posted:star DREK will never be good again
make star trek great again