#1
http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/561385/Islamic-State-Mother-Feed-Corpse-Body-Cooked-Son-ISIS-Kurdish-Fighter

The famished Kurdish mother had gone to plead with the jihadists to release her son.

Cruel militants delayed talks with the elderly mum – feeding her a meal made with the corpse of her offspring while she waited.

The depraved story was relayed by a brave Briton fighting on the front line with Kurdish forces against the Islamic State, also referred to as IS, ISIS and ISIL.

They had killed him and chopped him up and after she finished the meal and asked to see her son they laughed and said, 'You've just EATEN him'

The 36-year-old said the disturbing story was the cause of his hatred against IS – and one of the reasons he has vowed to return to his war-ravaged native county and "finish the job".

The father-of-four told The Sun: "I hate IS because of what happened to an old Kurdish woman from a nearby tribe.

"Her son was captured by IS fighters and taken as a prisoner to Mosul. She was determined to find her son and went to IS headquarters and asked to see him.

"The IS men told her to sit down because she had travelled a long way and said she should have some food before they took her to meet her son.

"They brought her cups of tea and fed her a meal of cooked meat, rice and soup. She thought they were so kind.

But security guard Mr Abdulla then adds: "They had killed him and chopped him up and after she finished the meal and asked to see her son they laughed and said, 'You've just EATEN him'."

"They burn people alive, they chop off people's heads, there is no limit to their depravity.

"They are not Muslims, they have hijacked Islam. All they do is hate."

The shocking account is just the latest in a string of disturbing executions and punishments administered by the immoral group.

In February, IS released a highly-choreographed propaganda film showing Jordanian fighter pilot Lieutenant Mouath al-Kasaesbeh soaked in fuel and being burned alive inside a cage.

Another video from the organisation showed a man believed to be gay thrown from a seven-storey building. The 50-year-old man, who was blindfolded throughout his sickening fall, is seen to be still alive after hitting the ground below.

He was later stoned to his death by a waiting mob.

Some have interpreted the perceived increase in brutality from the Islamic State as a sign of their weakness.

The terror organisation have suffered a number of defeats recently, including the loss of two strongholds in Iraq.

Last week, Kurdish gunmen stormed the town of Tel Hamis and fought back control from Islamic State rebels.

The group, aided by US-led coalition airstrikes, previously won back the seized border town of Kobani.

Back from the battlefield, Briton Yasir Abdulla lives in Yorkshire with his wife and children BEN LACK
Back from the battlefield, Briton Yasir Abdulla lives in Yorkshire with his wife and children
Infamous Islamic State militant Jihadi John, who is believed to have orchestrated the beheadings of dozens of hostages, was last week unmasked as a hypocritical cannabis smoker from west London.

Fearless Mr Abdulla, speaking after temporarily returning to his family home in Keighley, West Yorkshire, said: "IS are very good at making people scared.

"If they make one person scared then that person will make another person scared and soon everyone is scared of IS.

"But the Kurds are not scared of them. Someone has to stand and fight. We have got thousands of people in many villages and towns behind us.

"If we fall then all of those places fall, and that can't happen. The Peshmerga can't wait to take the fight to IS.

"We know we can win."

#2
A couple with children were trying out a new babysitter. About an hour after they left for a night on the town, they realized they had forgotten to give her their cell phone number, so one of them called her.

After she wrote down the number, the babysitter asked if she could watch satellite TV in their bedroom. She had just put the children to bed and wanted to watch a particular show. (The parents didn't want their children watching too much garbage, so the living room TV did not have satellite channels.)

Well of course she could watch TV in their room, they replied. The babysitter had one other request: could she put a sheet or blanket over the ISIS statue that was in the bedroom? It kind of made her nervous.

Take the children and go to the neighbors, said whichever parent was talking to her. We'll call the police. We don't have a ISIS statue.

The police caught the terrorist as he was running through the neighborhood.
#3
A woman from San Diego, California went to Tijuana, Mexico to shop. Almost everyone familiar with this town on the border knows the shopping area is reknown for having lots of stray dogs. The woman took pity on one stray and fed it. In return, the stray followed her around all afternoon.

After doing all her shopping, the woman had become very attached to her new "friend" and didn't want to leave it behind. Since it's illegal to bring dogs across the international border, she hid the stray with her packages and managed to smuggle it across. When she got home, she gave her new dog a bath, brushed its hair and went to bed with the pet curled up on her bed.

The next morning she noticed oozing liquid around the dog's eyes and foam coming out of its mouth. The dog was obviously sick so she rushed it to the nearest vet and waited for his call. The call soon came. "I have one question for you," said the vet. "Where did you get this dog?" The woman didn't want to get in trouble so she said it was a stray she found near her house. However, the vet didn't believe her.

"This dog is not from near your home. Where did you get it?" Finally, she gave in and admitted it was from across the border. Curious, she asked what was wrong with her dog. The vet was blunt and to the point. "It's not a dog. It's an isis."
#4
There's this guy who you might have seen walking around town with two huge dreadlocks, one on each side of his head. One day he decides to get them cut off. So he's off to the hair dresser, and of course they can't get the clippers through his hair, so out come the biggest pair of scissors you've ever seen.

They start to hack into one of the dreads and get about halfway through when he starts screaming and runs out of the shop. His girlfriend finds him dead in their flat the next day.

The coroner found that a splinter group of ISIS had moved into his hair and started suicide bombing him when the scissors cut their camp to bits.
#5
"ISIS says...stand up."
Everyone stands.
"ISIS says....lift your arms over your head."
The rules are simple, and followed as per the directions of the game.
"Run." The command echoes in the room.
One girl takes off, running as fast as her feet will carry her. Her hands are tied together in front of her, her legs shackled, and her mouth gagged. She runs awkwardly a few feet, stopping as to not trip. She continues to run, her restraints making a harsh clanging sound as they furiously work together to allow her movement.
ISIS shakes his head, a low, sinister chuckle rumbling from his chest.
"I didn't say ISIS Says," he said.
Her screaming sobs bounce off the walls as he shoots an arrow from his crossbow directly into her back. She falls, her body landing in a pool of blood, soaking into her hair and clothing.
He turns back to all the other captives, wide-eyed and trembling with fear. He begins again.
"I'm gay...."
#6
A young woman was approaching her wedding day. She decided that she'd look better in her wedding dress if she had a little color, so a week before the wedding she went to Iraq. The American Embassy, however, told her that for her own safety, she could only be in Iraq for thirty minutes a day. After she'd tanned for her thirty minutes, she decided it wasn't enough, so she went to Syria the same day to tan. The embassy there told her the same thing. She still wasn't tan enough after that thirty minutes, so she went to Iran and then Afghanistan.

She did this for the next four days. Even though she was getting a little bit red, she kept thinking how good she'd look in her wedding dress.

The day before her wedding, she was bombed by a US drone. Her skin was a terroristic brown and her internal organs had been radicalized by the Sun of Allah.
#7
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot ISIS charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the ISIS was closing.

He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the ISIS was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the ISIS right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...."
Time stopped.
The ISIS froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the ISIS a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran again.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the ISIS dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws together...bowed his head and spoke:

"I, or rather the Lord, beseech you as Christ's heralds to publish this everywhere and to perse all people of whatever rank, foot-soldiers and knights, poor and rich, to carry aid promptly to those Christians and to destroy that vile race from the lands of our friends. I say this to those who are present, it is meant also for those who are absent. Moreover, Christ commands it"
#8
Photographic Memories, from AnnieBannanas

I grew up in Iraq and was always very into the outdoors, hiking, jihad, rock throw, etc. One summer when I was 19 I went on a 4 day/3 night camping trip near my parents' house in Tikrit, on my own. Might sound weird but I had been to this area many times and it was quite safe, Insha'Allah. Anyway I brought my camera and took lots of pictures. When I came back and developed my film, there were 3 extra pictures that I didn't take... of me... joining ISIS. One each night.

None of my stuff was missing or stolen and nothing happened that would insult my family honor, but it freaked the hell out of me.
#9
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#10

dipshit420 posted:

The father-of-four told The Sun: "I hate IS because of what happened to an old Kurdish woman from a nearby tribe.

"Her son was captured by IS fighters and taken as a prisoner to Mosul. She was determined to find her son and went to IS headquarters and asked to see him.

"The IS men told her to sit down because she had travelled a long way and said she should have some food before they took her to meet her son.

"They brought her cups of tea and fed her a meal of cooked meat, rice and soup. She thought they were so kind.

But security guard Mr Abdulla then adds: "They had killed him and chopped him up and after she finished the meal and asked to see her son they laughed and said, 'You've just EATEN him'."

#11
I've been dealing with hackers on Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3. I also have to deal with the bullshit spawn points, connection issues that doesn't allow me to kill the guy when I shoot him first. I can never seem to get enough kills to call in an AC-130. Then came Advance Warfare bullshits. I had enough of this crap and so I decided to get the best Call of Duty experience, I'd join the opposition team. So far I unlocked martyrdom death perk, Allah's UAV, Flak gun support. 30 kills consecutive kills gets me a civilian boeing 767 full of Jewish passengers. There are technical issues with King of the hill gameplay, ISIS will release a patch that fixes the unlimited carpet bomb glitch from the allies forces.

Edited by dipshit420 ()

#12
oh my god this is the vice-est thing i've ever seen
TQ4ayy-thjQ
#13
[account deactivated]
#14
end of america:
http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/04/us/new-york-muslim-school-holidays/