TEN THOUSAND YEARS

that svalbard seed vault thing is the saddest and funniest failure of modern engineering i've ever heard of. "TEN THOUSAND YEARS", they trumpeted, and then in nine years it got wet outside and woops.

it's a good way to see how we'll handle the oncoming global catastrophe. let's take a little trip, on the magic school bus

The Government of Norway posted:

The building is designed for virtually infinite lifetime. By building the vault 130 meters into the rock and 130 meters above sea level the facility is robustly secured against external hazards and climate change effects.



all the seeds of all plants that global organizations have submitted are stored in the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. we would have to drive there from the Longyearbyen airport. it is very isolated, for protection of this globally important resource, so the journey from the airport will take seven minutes. let's look out the window of our bus



note the wires and pipes. the facility, which is to last at least ten thousand years, is kept powered (and cooled) by wires leading from a nearby power plant, which definitely won't be affected any time in the next ten thousand years or by any natural disasters


admittedly, i guess it looks kind of cool at night in the snow. the thing on the top serves no purpose, it's just art. all government construction in norway above a certain budget must have some art incorporated. there's a parking lot to the left you can't see. let's go up to the doors.


this place needs to last forever, so we have thought about everything here. first off: not just anyone can get in. you need a key. so probably no one will ever get in unauthorized


once we're inside, we can see, they have spared no expense on security. after entering the first set of two doors with a key, at the end of the entry tunnel there is a second line of defense. two more doors. maybe you need a key for those too.


you could imagine, perhaps, a thief or barbarian equipped with particular ingenuity, someone who could get past even the combination of Two Doors And Two More Doors. well, haha, of course we have also thought of that, so we also have installed a seven foot tall plastic coated light fence. impressive, don't you think?

please, come inside. we finally enter the inner sanctum. seeds to last forever. ten thousand years. protecting the natural bounty of gaia herself.


it's really amazing, huh? we used plastic zip ties around some boxes we got at ikea and put them on some metal and plastic racks. so this is probably going to be good forever


sometimes we just get some boxes from dhl or whatever and put them on a rack. cardboard lasts a long time right? i still have some old shoe boxes so this is definitely ok forever too. forever is probably even longer than some tv shows

maybe? right? anyway what's on twitter guys, i heard the world is dying

Discussion of TEN THOUSAND YEARS on tHE r H i z z o n E:

#1
When society collapses and the crops are lost, I will bravely travel on foot and by sail to Norway to bring back the delicately preserved Ikea racks, and the mysterious cardboard technology.
#2

drwhat posted:


sometimes we just get some boxes from dhl or whatever and put them on a rack. cardboard lasts a long time right? i still have some old shoe boxes so this is definitely ok forever too. forever is probably even longer than some tv shows


lol

#3
aahahahaahaha
#4
petition to travel back in time and frontpage that on the day we got news of the seed vault flooding
#5
im working on the time machine, but as an interim solution put it on the front page now
#6
thanks guys. i'll put it up in a couple of days, after the current article gets its proper time in the top slot
#7
I don't know why anyone would think that we are heading somewhere vaguely socialist, we are being led to a horrible system that isn't capitalism but is going to be very elite and prison/military based, and is going to exterminate most of the world
#8
I got like 1800 likes on my seed vault tweet sorry for illegally stealing that content from rhizzone txt by not posting it here for 5 upvotes and one downvote from animedad.
#9
upvoted to complicate your perspective
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