Ted_Haggard posted:
this year im gonna hit Druxxx with a car at least three times
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nice post count LMAO
deadken posted:
i think you need to sleep with a whole bunch of prostitutes if youre to ever have any chance at understanding the tragic nature of man
hrm, didnt seem to work for william tanner vollmann lol
animedad posted:deadken posted:
i think you need to sleep with a whole bunch of prostitutes if youre to ever have any chance at understanding the tragic nature of manhrm, didnt seem to work for william tanner vollmann lol
hahaha
Impper posted:
ames is an amphetamine guy
good choice in drugs, imo
Impper posted:
did you actually sleep with prostitutes? would yo urecommend this experience?
no but i have a friend who did in amsterdam and apparently while she gave expert head the experience overall was uncomfortable and shame-inducing
deadken posted:Impper posted:
did you actually sleep with prostitutes? would yo urecommend this experience?no but i have a friend who did in amsterdam and apparently while she gave expert head the experience overall was uncomfortable and shame-inducing
yeah i imagine it would be extremely alienating and shame-inducing. my friend has a roommate who brought two prostitutes back for like a "laid back evening" and apparently it went really well, so yeh
deadken posted:
impper you write on amphetamines right. which do u use and would u recommend it. ive found that when writing on ritalin the quality decreases a lot, i can never find the right word, i get stuck in particular phrases, but then i did some free writing while on a coke binge and produced some shit that was.... awesome, but terrifying.....
i've rarely done ritalin and never wrote on it. most of fuck and destroy was written on what was apparently very pure russian dexedrine, which is, i believe, very close to just a plain amphetamine salt. it was by far the best thing to write on: i could sit down with a few ideas in my head, a story thread, a blank page, and entire sentences, paragraphs, new places for the story to go, would spill out of me, sometimes i could sort of hear the characters' voices, or at least think as they do; t here would literally be too many things going on at once for me to write, and sometimes i'd have to stop writing simply to log into my email document and jot the ideas down before i forgot them. the best was when i could imagine my own character's manic fantasies, but i think that's another topic.
i've also written on ephedrine, which is not really to be recommended. there's a slight feeling of focus, and occasionally a junior version of the ideas-spilling-out experience, but it raises the blood pressure too much and you kind of feel gerky. that is if you're donig a big enough dose with caffeine; if you do a small dose you basically feel normal.
i've written on vyvanse. this generally gives me a positive feeling, but no sort of tweaking, and no crazy amount of ideas. it's a little bit like writing sober.
i write sober a decent amount too. i'm not sure how to describe the experience, except that i'm doubting every word and idea i'm putting on the page even as i'm typing them out. i've managed to write amazing amounts while sober but i never feel great about it.
i'm getting modafinil soon. will post trip report.
deadken posted:
i dont think i'd really know what do even do with a prostitute, it'd be weird + awkward as fuck, i'd probably be more comfortable fucking a realdoll
i think it'd be an interesting experience. there's a portion in dazai's no longer human where he talks about the prostitutes
"I never could think of prostitutes as human beings or even as women. They seemed more like imbeciles or lunatics. But in their arms I felt absolute security. I could sleep soundly. It was pathetic how utterly devoid of greed they really were. And perhaps because they felt for me something like an affinity for their kind, these prostitutes always showed me a natural friendliness which never became oppressive. Friendliness with no ulterior motive, friendliness stripped of high-pressure salesmanship, for someone who might never come again. Some nights I saw these imbecile, lunatic prostitutes with the halo of Mary."
later, he talks about learning the tough trade of women on prostitutes:
"I had, quite objectively speaking, passed through an apprenticeship in women at the hands of prostitutes, and I had of late become quite adept. The severest apprenticeship in women, they say, is with prostitutes, and that makes it the most effective. The odor of the "lady-killer" had come to permeate me, and women (not only prostitutes) instinctively detected it and flocked to me. This obscene and inglorious atmosphere was the "bonus" I received, and it was apparently far more noticeable than the recuperative effects of my apprenticeship."
i do most of my writing sober really, i think the doubting every word thing is fairly normal, the only people i know who dont do that are really awful writers, but when i'm high it goes into fuckin overdrive, like i can't bear to read my own stuff when i'm high because everything just seems awful, pretentious, flat, unevocative, eurgh
anyway, adderal is fine. personally i don't really like adderal but that's probably because i only do it when nerdy girls give me a few 15 mgs to seem like they're "down" and i've never tried writing on it. i believe that 3/4 of adderal is dexedrine though, or the same compound that makes up dexedrine. there's probably something you can say to get your adderal scrip changed to dexedrine but i wouldnt know what that is
deadken posted:
yeah it's something i'd maybe consider, somewhere where it's legal voluntary and regulated like the netherlands or nevada i guess, like even if it makes me feel disgusted with myself it'd be good material
backpages has a lot of very beautiful women on it, most of them are servers or retail slaves who do that as well. i mean, if you're gonna do it. Ahhe. probably wouldn't do it personally
discipline posted:
if either of you sleep with a prostitute I'm going to ban you for life and by that I mean track you down and gut you like an animal
i think its something a man ought to do, because life is only the sum of our experiences.... but im not actually going to fuck a prostitute dont worry
discipline posted:
the secret to great sex is being in a honest and loving relationship with someone and having good communication skills. good luck.
yeah i got that, but i'm talking about mechanics and artistic skill, U.. fuker..
discipline posted:
a woman who has likely been trafficked and raped dozens of times is not going to impart anything healthy into your sex life for money friend
oh okay now that you edited it i "GET" it. not before tho. but now after. after your edit. the part where you added 'for money'. i get that part