#41
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libelous_slander posted:

Diane...

Diane, a young Christian university student, was home for the summer. She had gone to visit some friends one evening and the time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than she had planned and had to walk home alone. But she wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked "God" to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safety.

The following day, she read in the paper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley, just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if their was anything they could do for her, she asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."



slendermen

#42
[account deactivated]
#43
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tpaine saw what you did. and now you're going to get what's coming to you.
#44
[account deactivated]
#45
Kurdt
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laserjew
#46
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Can you do it I need you to tell me you can do it
#47
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Agnus_Dei posted:

http://reddit.com/r/atheismhttp://atheismplus.com


#48
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Malcolm X
#49
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isn't there a part that got cut out of the bible where jesus gets mad at some kids eating his figs so he magics up a bear that eats them or something like that iunno
#50
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Zen_Punk posted:

isn't there a part that got cut out of the bible where jesus gets mad at some kids eating his figs so he magics up a bear that eats them or something like that iunno


You are thinking of 2 Kings 2. Specifically, the 24th verse.

http://www.usccb.org/bible/2kings/2/

* This story probably was told to warn children of the importance of respect for prophets.

#51
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Agnus_Dei posted:

Zen_Punk posted:

isn't there a part that got cut out of the bible where jesus gets mad at some kids eating his figs so he magics up a bear that eats them or something like that iunno

You are thinking of 2 Kings 2. Specifically, the 24th verse.

http://www.usccb.org/bible/2kings/2/

* This story probably was told to warn children of the importance of respect for prophets.



wow, yeah. They left that in. that's totally metal

#52
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i find it unlikely that 2 bears could kill forty-two children. i can only suspend my disbelief so far with this book. just my two cents
#53
Mike Nelson here.
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Makeshift_Swahili posted:

i find it unlikely that 2 bears could kill forty-two children. i can only suspend my disbelief so far with this book. just my two cents

i think anything in the bible that refers to 40-something things just means "a lot of"

#54
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This is why I like the Catholic bible: it has footnotes that essentially say "This was made up to frighten children."
#55
Mike Nelson here.
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Agnus_Dei posted:

This is why I like the Catholic bible: it has footnotes that essentially say "This was made up to frighten children."

what's your favourite version.

i sort of like KJV because it is old-timey and poetic.

#56
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niv for life. no obfuscation through fancy pants poetic language, more accessible to the People
#57
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Yes, the KJV has a beauty to it. It is often quoted or used in prayers; the Hail Mary for instance, with its thees and thous.

However it's not the most readable nor the most precise. Also, it's usually missing the seven books from the Old Testament that Luther took out. (Actually, the original KJV had them, but the most common versions today do not; these are called the "deuterocanonical" books by Catholics and the "apocrypha" by Protestants. It should be noted that Luther wanted to take out various other books such as Esther and James because he did not like their content, but the other Reformers wouldn't let him.)

For English-speaking North Americans the standard Catholic Bible today is the New American Bible, Revised Edition (aka NABRE). This one is used in the Mass. It is not only a very modern translation, but an honest one, such as translating Isaiah 7:14 with "young woman" instead of "virgin". It also has exceptional book introductions and footnotes. It's available for reading on the website I linked above and you can also buy it here.
#58
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Please read and forward out this Bill Cosby routine on why we need to support Israel.
#59
political car tune
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MadMedico posted:

Please read and forward out this Bill Cosby routine on why we need to support Israel.

you forgot to post it or include a link, fucko

#60
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libelous_slander posted:

MadMedico posted:

Please read and forward out this Bill Cosby routine on why we need to support Israel.

you forgot to post it or include a link, fucko


http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/313e12287c/billcosby-bukowski

#61
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#62
[account deactivated]
#63
political car tune
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lol
#64
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i got the new american from the oxfam bookstore and its rly cool
#65
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this thread reminded me to order a copy of the patois bible, thanks thread
#66
political car tune
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cleanhands posted:

this thread reminded me to order a copy of the patois bible, thanks thread

The thread welcomes you

#67
political car tune
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#68
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From start to 3:40
#69
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#70
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God is cool if you think he'll save you based on how you behave or perceive yourself. But when you die... reality strikes
#71
Online
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That we may be altogether of the same mind and in conformity with the Church herself, if she shall have defined anything to be black which appears to our eyes to be white, we ought in like manner to pronounce it to be black. For we must undoubtingly believe, that the Spirit of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Spirit of the Orthodox Church His Spouse, by which Spirit we are governed and directed to Salvation, is the same
#72
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If magic were real I'd crucio curse my enemies on the street and then disapparate when the popo arrived.
#73
Online
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That's an unforgivable curse NounsareVerbs. You'd be toying with some dark powers.
#74
[account deactivated]