#1
How to surpress coronnavirus symptoms
#2
(I'm in USA)
#3
pbr
#4
Is feve a symptom ofcoronnavirus
Is fever a symptom of coronnavirus
Is sore throat a sympto of coronnavirus
Headach a symptom ofcoronnavirus
Is head ache a symtom of coronnavirus
Coronnavirus symptoms
Coronnavirus do i have it
Free doctors NYC
Free hospital New York City
#5
How much does hospital cost New york city
#6
While keeping a two-meter minimum distance from other people, instead of using the phrase "social distancing," consider telling people you're "leaving room for Jesus."
#7
Spread the wealth dont horde it.
#8
Because americans think coronavirus cannot affect children, perhaps you could wear a trenchcoat and tell anyone concerned by your public coughing that you are not old and dying but actually just several children standing on each other's shoulders, to set their minds at ease
#9
Actually we do know that children can get coronavirus, but if we shut down all the schools in NYC for example, there will be 114,000 homeless kids with no food, shelter, or means of cleaning themselves and their clothes, and limited adult supervision. From there the consequences are inevitable: they'll waste all their pocket change on soda and Xbox.
#10
putting hand sanitiser in the ketchup dispensers
#11
watch trump quarantine a fucking city
#12
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-usa-collins/u-s-representative-collins-self-quarantines-after-contact-with-coronavirus-patient-idUSKBN20W2TA

Patient 1 in Italy is a 38 year old man, he was very healthy before catching virus, he has been intubated since February 29
#13
turn your bathroom into a steam sauna. seal off the door, fill room with hot steam and sweat it out for a half hour every damn day. drink a lot of water beforehand. start smoking those disgusting brown-paper filtered cigarillos for $4 a pack and tell everyone you've been doing it for years secretly. that will explain the cough (half the cigs for added effect).

good luck swamp
#14
I live in Washington DC. It would be funny if AIPAC killed me.
#15

swampman posted:

Actually we do know that children can get coronavirus, but if we shut down all the schools in NYC for example, there will be 114,000 homeless kids with no food, shelter, or means of cleaning themselves and their clothes, and limited adult supervision. From there the consequences are inevitable: they'll waste all their pocket change on soda and Xbox.


Perhaps corona virus symptoms could be covered up by wearing a white sheet? This is a traditional ceremonial garb in much of amerikkka and should not attract attention. A pillow case with eyeholes could FUNction as a festive hat.

#16
King County WA has been running a fatality rate of 11-15% so far, but that's probably inflated because so few living people have actually been tested. Probably.

A nursing home within walking distance has bodies, 9 others locally have confirmed cases, and a local hospital has confirmed cases. Urgent care clinics REMOVED the masks from the courtesy stand in the lobbies because people were walking in and stealing the box, so now you can only get a mask after you've infected the entire waiting room.
#17
UK health minister just got diagnosed with covid and may have just spread it to Boris Johnson and others in the top of the government

#18
that is funny but i should clarify that its not Her Majesty's Principal Secretary of State for Health and Social Care who has corona virus but the Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Mental Health, Suicide Prevention and Patient Safety
#19
Among other infections:

+ The leader of Spain's fascist Vox party
+ The Hapsburg pretender to the Austro-Hungarian throne
#20
state department declaring its material support for moderate virus that only kills bad people
#21
#22
pretty limited local response so far, no central coodination or much obvious impact other than cancelling large gatherings and events.

hilariously cops tried to organize undercover strike by taking sick leave and wearing anonymous masks asking for more pay, but failed to get much traction as absences were equivalent to average day.



in other news toilet paper appears to have become valuable local commodity, but as part of the bidet bourgeoisie i remain unconcerned.
#23

Gssh posted:

cops wearing anonymous masks


#24
find someone with the flu . .. get it from them .... get diagnosed with the flu ... profit
#25
im a postie servicing an extremely bourgeois part of my city and by god im not chucking any sickies for the foreseeable future - imagine my KDR
#26
its time for the rhizzone to decide its line on coronavirus and heres what i've come up with after some deep thought: critical support, baby!
#27
Thinking about all the film and the episodic film where some virus happens in a place and a secret branch of the feds shows up and completely seals off the perimeter of the area and prepares to exterminate the infection in one very coordinated swooping and thinking about whether i liked each film or not, and if i liked it pirating it now while the internet works good
#28
I remember it was about a bunch of people who get put in QUARANTINE, and they try to escape the QUARANTINE I think it was called Rec a Spanish series about people being QUARANTINed.
#29

swampman posted:

Thinking about all the film and the episodic film where some virus happens in a place and a secret branch of the feds shows up and completely seals off the perimeter of the area and prepares to exterminate the infection in one very coordinated swooping and thinking about whether i liked each film or not, and if i liked it pirating it now while the internet works good



forutantley i illegally downloaded the andromeda strain years ago and have encrypted backups on three hard drives

#30

swampman posted:

Thinking about all the film and the episodic film where some virus happens in a place and a secret branch of the feds shows up and completely seals off the perimeter of the area and prepares to exterminate the infection in one very coordinated swooping and thinking about whether i liked each film or not, and if i liked it pirating it now while the internet works good


Meanwhile in reality the only part of the government fighting this is the Fed, which is battling the virus via monetary policy.

#31
edit: delete

Edited by wasted ()

#32

swampman posted:

How to surpress coronnavirus symptoms


very carefully

#33

Parenti posted:

swampman posted:

How to surpress coronnavirus symptoms

very carefully


#34
gf just got the notice to stay home 10 days for symptoms. given that we have the same doctor and address, i can safely assume the same. the germans are willing to order quarantine without office visits lol
#35
in similar news, the german health minister is encouraging the germans to hit da clubs while they still can:



roughly:

Federal Health Minister Jens Spahn encourages every German to weigh up "what is so important to them in their everyday life that they do not want to do without it in the next two to three months - be it a visit to the club, a birthday party in a family circle or an association meeting."


#36
https://apnews.com/fe0239e95b8ad1037639ed833b990e48
#37
the Andromeda Strain’s success caused everyone working in the entire genre to freak out all at once because it’s author wasn’t a made man through pulp magazines and was instead a med school dropout who wrote thrillers about abortion. The correct thing to do would have been to welcome with confidence a new development in pop genre literature, the no-character novel. Well that’s my post on The Andromeda Strain, I hope it didn’t put a “strain” on you because you’ll need your strength for the darn plague!!!!
#38

swampman posted:

https://apnews.com/fe0239e95b8ad1037639ed833b990e48


it's going to be so great sitting through these next 2 months of the west slowly 'discovering' things China already warned us about which we promptly ignored because we were too busy working out the most racist lies possible with which to condemn them

#39
Coronavirus single page false-document ending where it mutates into Fail AIDS, quarantining the world under the vast influence of our shitty posts
#40
More infections:

+ Tom Hanks
+ Donald Trump (suspected)