#121
im gonna reply to the above, i started writing and i remembered a reference i really need to do the post and i know its buried in my pdf folder somewhere but at the moment i dont have any recollection of what it was called or who wrote it, so. ill figure it out though. but hang in there lol
#122

babyhueypnewton posted:

and "railway spine" which was a particular manifestation in trains of the general mental effects of machinery and commodity fetishism on individuals.



man I looked up 'railroad spine' thinking it was a diagnosis of the trains themselves

#123

babyhueypnewton posted:

railway spine was doomed by deindustrialization to irrelevance


on the other hand it got replaced by carpal tunnel, back pain, stomach ulcers etc etc which neatly correspond to the occupations and activities of the modern aristocracy. by now doctors are totally prepared to absorb any and all psychosomatic symptoms into their useless diagnostic categories ("chronic pain") and now, in lieu of freud, we have a few lone doctors going "uhh hey guys there's something weird going on here" and a handful of psychotherapists who have all but thrown in the towel

#124
#125
#126
aside from those guys who talk about trauma, another thing i want to learn more about is family systems theory. theres a whole story about gregory bateson from the crypto cuttlefish type angle, he shows up a lot when cuttlefish is spinning those webs of connections talking about silicon valley and stuff. in any case hes known for the double bind theory of schizophrenia (original paper here https://solutions-centre.org/pdf/TOWARD-A-THEORY-OF-SCHIZOPHRENIA-2.pdf) which postulates that a specific kind of family dynamic that communicates conflicting messages to the child in a way that leaves them with no ability to resolve it can cause schziophrenia, and that is essentially a problem of communication. theres more to it so i would suggest reading the paper.. in any case this is where the blogpost starts haha

i would describe my family as upwardly mobile i guess. the earliest parts of my childhood, until the age of 12, were spent in a northern california valley town with a population of 50,000. most everyone worked in some sort of warehouse or another and the area more broadly was known for agricultural production. i was born in 93- my dad worked at a large media distribution place in the late 90s-early 00s there and when it went under it was economically disastrous for the town. one perk of this for me at least was thta he frequenlty brought home cool anime vhs tapes among other stuff. i still have a bubblegum crisis shirt that he got then which owns actually haha. one of the best things he got out of them going under was an absolutely massive collection of niche classical/art music cds. im talking like uhh multiple large bookcases full. so those were fun to pick through as a teen. when i was 12 we moved to a portland, or suburb. by now my dad runs his own graphic design studio actually. i only share in this much detail to convey that my family had some degree of culutral awareness that i was immersed in growing up.. at the same time they are jehovahs witnesses, so growing up im developing this attachment to art and that kind of thing but also being told not to engage with it either, to "be no part of the world." i dont know if anyone here is super fmailiar with the witnesses but they dont associate with people outside the religion. of course some are more lax, in elementary schjool i had a friend whose house i would hang out at, shed come over etc. but this wasnt consistently true either, frankly my parents' decisions about me were inconsistent and very confusing. i take this as evidence of their failed attempts to resolve their own conflicts and imbuing me with them. in any case i was doubly isolated in that respect, i didnt really fit in at school becaiuse my family was weird, but witnesses were always suspicious of me in partiucalr too (when i was a teen some mouthbreather started a rumor that i was possessed because i was starting to show signs of schizo stuff then). i think thats probably a big part of why i turned to being really logged on. it seems psychiatrists are starting to observe that jehovahs witnesses have a disproportionate rate of schziophrenia aomgst their membership too.. schizo/severe bipolar runs on my moms side very strongly, her father and two of her siblings are all affected, and thats the witness side of the family as well...... in any case this situation makes me think about bateson a lot, on the one hand being particularly culutred and on the other being told not to be, and this would come to define my struggle with belief when i was becoming an atheist

im pretty much just blogging at this point i guess so im sorry for that but not to have a chip on my shoulder or anything, i think i have some good stories i like to tell people ahaa. when i was i think around 16-17 i was starting to really descend into the worst of my illness though i had issues before. i had a full-blown psychotic break, and i was continuously severely ill for that whole period after, that landed me in the hospital for extensive stays until i started to pull out of that at like.. 19 i think. so that was like uhh probably 3 years in the system. the last time during that period (i did have another month-long inpatient stint like uhh i think 2 years ago now) i was involuntarily committed for 6 months, in a state facility (specifically western state hospital in washington if you know anything about that place). i remember being in a room and doing court on tv from the hospital lol.. before i went in one of the staff told me just dont say anything, dont talk in there, because i was pretty out of it then. i did say something despite the advice hahahaha, oops. in any case the prison comparison isnt so far off. you can smoke at western state and thats where i picked up my habit actually. i had a job and one of the best ones too. i worked as a cashier at the patient store, and i liked getting the lunch shift because it meant you could eat whatever was left over after your shift.. hot dogs and pizza and stuff lol. they do at least pay minimum wage there. id give my social worker money and shed go buy ciggies for me. i used some of my money to buy a ds lite off another patient, which was extremely not allowed, tho the manager at the store just pretended he had no idea, cool guy. they did room searches regularly tho never searched your person so i jsut kept it in the pocket of this huge coat i was wearing at all times hahaa. you could have electronics.. the fact that i bought it off another patient is what made it contraband. i didnt have a smartphone then yet so i had no internet.. i read a ton of wittgenstein and james joyce when i was there, some other stuff too but those stand out in my mind. it was an open campus with a bus stop nearby so if you so chose it was very easy to escape unnoticed which people did frequently lmfao. there was this guy i was friends with on my ward and one night we walked to the chevron off-campus and got some four lokos and i got absolutely wrecked, puked when i got back in and i lost my grounds privileges for that lol. fortunately i got out of there soon after. i was also offered salvia which i did not do, and it was smoked out of a pepsi can. after i got out i was court ordered to do mandatory intensive outpatient for 2 years, which involved social workers coming to my home 3 times a week and forced medication. in any case thats my story, hope you liked it

Edited by graphicalUSSRinterface ()

#127
i like the NEET room pictures genre, and im sure someone else here does too. this is where it all started, age 15, lots of memories of this room. it had heavy curtains which helped with the time distortion.. comfy. i found this when looking through my old photobucket a few months ago.

#128
that laptop is newer than the one i'm posting from... rly makes u think...
#129

shriekingviolet posted:

that laptop is newer than the one i'm posting from... rly makes u think...



if a souped-up pismo was still capable of browsing the net you better believe i would shell out the 800 for one lol

#130
i havent been to california in a really long time now, but i would love to visit grass valley again though.. my dads parents lived there and i have some intensely nostalgic memories of spending the summers there. my grandma died a few years ago though.. dunno. thats when i was heavily into like old psychedelic music, and i hung around at booktown books with one of her old friends from her childhood who was an anarchist and lived on the haight, with my grandmother, in the 60s. there was also this middle-aged trot guy there all the time too haha. the three of us used to tlak about politics and stuff, good times............... im old :(
#131
my dad converted when he met my mom. its very weird to grow up with the people he did and then go jw
#132

graphicalUSSRinterface posted:

i used some of my money to buy a ds lite off another patient, which was extremely not allowed, tho the manager at the store just pretended he had no idea, cool guy.



im re-reading and this sentence is interesting to me because i just assume you knew the other patient worked at the store too despite never giving that background info. chalk up more evidence for that lack of internal/external boundary , and despite not having a delusional justification for it anymore i still on some level believe people have comeplete access to my thoughts

#133
ive been talking to marimite in dms and he mentioned the philosophical aspects of this kind of thing so theres a really good book on that written by this lacanian dude alphonse de waelhens, theres an updated version im desperate for with some new chapters but its uhh 300+ dollars. in any case i ripped the vint copy from openlibrary quite a while back (and i learned that openlibrary had some stuff that wasnt elsewhere by reading the kkkonspiracy thread! haha) and its here if you want to read https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5Ul5dKwvig2djNQVlNUczNQQU0/view?usp=sharing

edit: amazon link to the updated version https://www.amazon.com/Phenomenology-Schizophrenia-Decade-Figures-Unconscious/dp/9058671607
#134
oh wait wtf this might have been the book i was remembering upthread that i was trying to find as a reference lol. need to check
#135

graphicalUSSRinterface posted:

im re-reading and this sentence is interesting to me because i just assume you knew the other patient worked at the store too despite never giving that background info. chalk up more evidence for that lack of internal/external boundary , and despite not having a delusional justification for it anymore i still on some level believe people have comeplete access to my thoughts



"More recently, Chris Frith has proposed that the thought disorder of schizophrenia is a manifestation of the patient’s inability to keep track of what their interlocutor currently knows, resulting in an inability to appropriately signpost their speech."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4601706/

going to look into this further

#136

graphicalUSSRinterface posted:

"More recently, Chris Frith has proposed that the thought disorder of schizophrenia is a manifestation of the patient’s inability to keep track of what their interlocutor currently knows, resulting in an inability to appropriately signpost their speech."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4601706/

going to look into this further



i should add a huge disclaimer that this man is cognitive neuroscience dumbass and his takes are likely to be complteyl backwards, but this snippet caught my attention at least

#137
so I'm fairly dunk, but are you familiar with Deleuze"s ideas about sciziophrenia?

There are some particularly abstract passages in Anti-Oedipus that deal with, say, the phenomentology of schiz. For a schizophrenic, they make the point that Artaud's plays in which characters say things that are directly contradictory are the most accurate: a schizphrenic is the one for whom all these things are true, and does not allow themselves to be put under the totalizing Oedipal phenomenon.

The schizophrenic has a particular relationship to the desiring-machines, in that they reject all territorialities. The schizophrenic is the limit of deterritiorialization. So, behaving within a conversation could be considered a territoriality, and a schizophrenic rejects the territoriality, and so they cannot "remember what the interlocutrtor knows".

You also mention the family dymanic earlier, so maybe Deleuze is more releveant, as they argue that the schizophrenic rejects the Oedipal complect (nuclear family) as they shold.
#138
its pretty bad considering what i think about that i still have not read deleuze.. i really need to. ive been meaning to for uhhh over ten years now lmfao. in any case i have to plead ignorance because i cant even bullshit familiarity.. sorry! haha
#139
an excerpt relevant to earlier dumpthread discussion

According to Sartre (1956), the freedom of the subject is the source of the limitation imposed on this freedom. He writes, “Freedom is total and infinite, which doesn’t mean that it has no limits but that it never encounters them. The only limits which my freedom bumps up against at each moment are those which it imposes on itself ” (p. 680). In order to preserve the notion that the subject’s freedom exists outside of all social constraint, Sartre must imagine that the subject itself freely grants the law its force, when in fact it is the law that inaugurates the subject’s freedom. This is an error that Sartre shares with proponents of the liberal version of freedom, necessarily conceives obstacles to freedom as contingent. Though Sartre concedes that freedom requires what he calls the practico-­inert as the barrier against which it constitutes itself, he leaves the status of the practico-­inert, as the term itself suggests, entirely too vague. It is an obstacle, but it is not clear that this obstacle constitutes the freedom of the subject.

This is an error that Sartre shares with proponents of the liberal version of freedom. This tradition produces the idea of the law as the result of a social contract. The idea of an original social contract misleads because it implies that freedom is the source of law rather than law being the source of freedom. Prior to the constraining force of law, the subject would have no capacity to enter freely into a social contract. This idea is the fundamental fantasy of liberal freedom. 20 A universe of infinite possibilities is not a free universe. Constraint narrows possibilities and in doing so establishes those possibilities as avenues worth pursuing, as choices laden with value. Value arises with limitation. The liberal and existentialist versions of freedom posit that the subject itself is capable of establishing this limitation itself through its free act, but this act depends on value already existing for the subject, which indicates that these versions of freedom silently presuppose the law that they believe freedom to posit. If the subject can refuse to acknowledge the authority of the law, it is the law that is the source of this capacity.

The law places a limit on the subject’s freedom. This act of limitation constrains what the subject can do, but at the same time it creates the subject’s freedom. It is a fecund constraint. Without the law’s limitation, the subject is not free to do anything but condemned to do nothing of significance. By introducing limitation to subjectivity, the law gives the subject the ability to limit itself, which is integral to its freedom. Through the act of limiting itself, the subject disregards external pressures in order to focus on its object. The multiplicity of indistinct choices fade into the background, and the subject can direct its attention. Without the ability to limit itself to its own valued object, the subject remains adrift within the possibilities imposed on it externally by the social demand. It cannot act freely. The ability to marginalize all other possibilities inheres within the free act. It has the effect of freeing the subject from the social demand. 21


https://drive.google.com/file/d/178kKL4De70aK3vt-pn6IPePysLhWb0zy/view?usp=sharing

read lacan ftw, the current opinion amongst marxists that it should be rejected is mistaken and disappointing. i know its always been controversial and opinion changes over the years, but the most recent anti-psychoanalysis turn is sad to me.

edit: i posted the wrong link. fixed

Edited by graphicalUSSRinterface ()

#140
anti-psychoanalysis by whom? Deleuze is the most full-fledged critique of lacan I'm aware of and there aren't that many deleuzians who aren'T compassionate towards lacan.

THere's Zizek, Jameson, Mark Fisher who are all influenced by Lacan.
#141

Acdtrux posted:

anti-psychoanalysis by whom? Deleuze is the most full-fledged critique of lacan I'm aware of and there aren't that many deleuzians who aren'T compassionate towards lacan.



just gauging feeling by actual opinions held by communists that i am exposed to. i am so embarrassed to admit im judging by twitter and facebook, but a lot of those people are in orgs as well

#142
yeah I don't think lacan and zizek are Hot anymore in the zzone at least. I still like zizek but that is because I am a liberal trot revisionist bourgeois reactionary
#143
I, on the other hand, would like Lacan a lot more if Zizek wasn't his most prominent contemporary cheerleader.
#144

Flying_horse_in_saudi_arabia posted:

I, on the other hand, would like Lacan a lot more if Zizek wasn't his most prominent contemporary cheerleader.



even non-marxist lacanians dont care for him lol. on theoretical grounds alone his work is questionable

#145
*futsal shuffles into the thread in a big dog MY DESIRE? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT'S THE DESIRE OF THE OTHER sweater*
#146
gussi if you exercised and ate right at least 2 meals a day out of 3 you'd be in better head health
#147

toyot posted:

gussi if you exercised and ate right at least 2 meals a day out of 3 you'd be in better head health


according to social media this kind of advice is offensive and ableist no matter how true it is

#148
I think the main thing is the gabapentin, whatever the fuck that is
#149
*does the mop in the back with a '66 Écrits*