Tinkzorg
Tinkzorg
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The concept is simple. see thread title for details plox.
ill start with the following two paragraphs from an essay (unironically??) titled "For an Intensified Cyborg Assemblage: Interventions Against An(a)esthesia Under Speculative Capital"
ill start with the following two paragraphs from an essay (unironically??) titled "For an Intensified Cyborg Assemblage: Interventions Against An(a)esthesia Under Speculative Capital"
Nearly three decades on from first publication, Donna Haraway’s path breaking Cyborg Manifesto remains a deeply moving, uniquely evocative text; charged perhaps moreso than ever before with political, aesthetic, and ethical possibilities for a world–this world–in crisis. Indeed, as our so-called smart devices codify a new informational metatopography of daily life, and as those devices increasingly shift from hand-held into more wearable forms, we seem to be bearing witness to the return of Haraway’s anti/alter/post-protagonist, that ambivalent technobody that departs from no original unity and shirks all telos; one that “is not made of mud,” and “cannot dream of returning to dust.”
For those of us invested in excavating the embodied and affective valences of this moment of speculative circulation and emergent technical and biopolitical formations (though I would follow Butler in suggesting that this “biopolitical moment” is neither singular nor evenly distributed), this return is of particular interest. A resurgent cyborg assemblage holds forth the promise of turning us toward a conception of the body as negotiable and assembled, rather than simply given; a not-strictly-human body that gathers together and concretizes the novelties, the detritus, and the variable speeds of a world in which the liberatory promise of the digital is both unevenly distributed and erratically circulated. In this sense, a revitalized cyborg assemblage would probe the question of where and in what form(s) the human appears or does not appear within prevailing geopolitical and affective regimes; a question that, as Butler (2004) notes, constitutes a central problem for the humanities today.
i dare all y'all to find a more pretentious, overbearing and ultimately irrelevant passage anywhere. unfortunately you'll probably be successful.
cars
cars
UNUSUALY COOL
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pretend i posted my entire thesis i turned in today
prohairesis
prohairesis
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Tiqqun Preliminary Materials for a Theory of the Young Girl.pdf
fape
fape
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daddyholes posted:pretend i posted my entire thesis i turned in today
please do
swirlsofhistory
swirlsofhistory
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Nick Bostrum posted:This paper argues that at least one of the following propositions is true: (1) the human species is very likely to go extinct before reaching a “posthuman” stage; (2) any posthuman civilization is extremely unlikely to run a significant number of simulations of their evolutionary history (or variations thereof); (3) we are almost certainly living in a computer simulation. It follows that the belief that there is a significant chance that we will one day become posthumans who run ancestor-simulations is false, unless we are currently living in a simulation. A number of other consequences of this result are also discussed.
This was published in the year 2003 in The Philosophical Quarterly, one of the world's top philosophy journals.
HenryKrinkle
HenryKrinkle
hi
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cars
cars
UNUSUALY COOL
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i thought people were sick of irony
cars
cars
UNUSUALY COOL
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just reminding everyone that the original Goons were GiP (ENSA)
jools
jools
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hmm the paragraph in the OP uses some stupid turns of phrase and stuff but seems relatively conventionally structured, there's not the maze of qualifying dependant clauses i usually expect
Skylark
Skylark
California
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swirlsofhistory posted:Nick Bostrum posted:This paper argues that at least one of the following propositions is true: (1) the human species is very likely to go extinct before reaching a “posthuman” stage; (2) any posthuman civilization is extremely unlikely to run a significant number of simulations of their evolutionary history (or variations thereof); (3) we are almost certainly living in a computer simulation. It follows that the belief that there is a significant chance that we will one day become posthumans who run ancestor-simulations is false, unless we are currently living in a simulation. A number of other consequences of this result are also discussed.
This was published in the year 2003 in The Philosophical Quarterly, one of the world's top philosophy journals.
probably in century gothic or impact
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babyfinland
babyfinland
tardy on these heaters
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is your last name irl stinkborg
tentativelurkeraccount
tentativelurkeraccount
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appledoze
cars
cars
UNUSUALY COOL
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EVER ONWARD IBM
Verse:
There's a thrill in store for all
for we're about to toast
the corporation that we represent.
we're here to cheer each pioneer
and also proudly boast,
of that man of men
our friend and guiding hand
the name of T.J. Watson means
a courage none can stem
and we feel honored to be
here to toast the IBM.
Chorus:
Ever onward! ever onward!
that's the spirit that has brought us fame.
we're big but bigger we will be,
we can't fail for all can see,
that to serve humanity has been our aim.
our products now are known
in every zone.
our reputation sparkles like a gem.
we've fought our way through
and new fields we're sure to conquer, too,
for the ever onward IBM!
Ever onward! ever onward!
we're bound for the top to never fall,
right here and now we thankfully
pledge sincerest loyalty
to the corporation that's the best of all
our leaders we revere
and while we're here,
let's show the world just what we think of them!
so let us sing men - sing men
once or twice, then sing again
for the ever onward IBM!
An extra verse from the above IBM songsheet has been offered
courtesy of Joe Kessleman.
There's a feeling everywhere of bigger things in store
Of new horizons coming into view
Our aim is clear: To make each year exceed the one before
Staying in the lead in everything we do
The "will to win" is built right in, it will not be denied
And we will go ahead, we know, working side by side....
To play the above IBM classic company song, click here for the .WAV file version (1.46MB)
106 IBM Company Songs
1. AMERICA
My country, ‘tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty
Of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrim’s pride,
From every mountain side,
Let freedom ring.
GREAT BRITAIN AND CANADA
2. God save our gracious King,
Long live our noble King,
God save our King.
Send him victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us,
God save our King.
___________________________
2. STAR-SPANGLED BANNER
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro’ the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro’ the night that our flag was still there.
Chorus
Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
___________________________
3. TO THOS. J. WATSON, PRESIDENT, I. B. M.
OUR INSPIRATION
Tune: "Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean"
Thomas Watson is our inspiration,
Head and soul of our splendid IBM.
We are pledged to him throughout all nations,
He’s our President and most beloved man.
His great wisdom has guided each division
In such service to all humanity
That we all unite to make this one decision,
None can match him or our worldwide company.
Chorus
T. J. Watson, we all honor you,
You’re so big and so square and so true,
We will follow and serve with you forever,
All the world shall know what I. B. M. can do.
___________________________
4. TO THOS. J. WATSON
YOU’RE OUR LEADER FINE
Tune: "Auld Lang Syne"
T. J. Watson-you’re our leader fine, the greatest in the land,
We sing your praises from our hearts we’re here to shake your hand.
You’re IBM’s bright guiding star you’re big and square and true.
No matter what the future brings, we all will follow you.
You’ve made our IBM so great in every land and clime
Our service meets all needs of men on Weights, Accounts and Time.
You’ve brought us through to victory, with leadership so fine,
We’ll always love and honor you for the sake of Auld Lang Sync.
___________________________
5. TO THOS. J. WATSON, PRESIDENT, I. B. M.
Tune: "Pack Up Your Troubles"
1. Pack up your troubles Mr. Watson’s here!
And smile, smile, smile.
He is the genius in our I. B. M.
He’s the man worth while.
He’s inspiring all the time,
On Wall Street he’s sublime! Fine.
He is our own, our matchless President!
His smile’s worth while.
2. "He’s a real father and a friend so true."
Say all we boys.
Ever he thinks of things to say and do,
To increase our joys.
He’s a builder real and true.
His work will never die. That’s -
Why we love T. J. Watson all the while-
He’s God’s best style.
___________________________
6. OTTO E. BRAITMAYER, VICE-PRESIDENT I. B. M.
Tune: "Tipperary"
1. We adore you, Otto Braitmayer
Our great pioneer,
You’re a wise and able leader.
And you always are sincere.
You’re our President’s right bower-
Our Manufacturing Guiding Star,
I. B. M. will honor you forever
Vice-President Braitmayer.
2. Your great knowledge, efforts untiring
Guide us safely each day,
Every act is to us inspiring
We believe all that you say.
You’re our noble elder brother,
Real pal in every way.
Help all of us to help each sther.
God bless you always.
___________________________
7. O. E. BRAITMAYER ANNIVERSARY SONG
(To the tune of "Marching Through Georgia")
I.
Who’s the man with us today who forty years ago
Saw the birth of IBM and helped to make it grow,
Fed the first of hope and faith and fanned them to a glow?
It’s our dear friend, Otto Braitmayer!
Chorus
We’re here to cheer him on his victory;
Through all these years he’s worked for you and me,
He’s set us an example of true zeal and loyalty
That’s why we all love Otto Braitmayer!
II.
Who, in pioneering days has helped to man the helm
And steer us safely through the shoals that sought to overwhelm
The good ship IBM that now is known throughout the realm?
It’s our good friend, Otto Braitmayer!
2nd Chorus
Hooray! Hooray! for you we proudly cheer!
And well we may, beloved pioneer!
Your squareness and your fairness are the things we hold most dear,
That’s why we love Otto Braitmayer!
III.
Modern days and modern ways have changed things by the score,
Business makes demands on men it never did before.
Ahead of the procession still, as in the days of yore
Is our old friend, Otto Braitmayer!
3rd Chorus
We sing his praise; his name we all revere,
On life’s highways, you’ll never meet his peer,
We greet this opportunity to pay him homage here,
That’s how we feel, Otto Braitmayer!
___________________________
8. TO CLEMENT EHRET, VICE-PRESIDENT, I. B. M.
Tune: "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys Are Marching"
1. In the glorious I. B. M. we are blest with mighty men,
Whom we honor, serve, and manfully adore.
Clement Ehret’s one of them, he inspires all our men
He will make the International Scale Division grow.
2. He’s a high-speed dynamo--day and night he’s on the go.
International his vision all the time.
Our big line he surely knows; we will study, work and grow;
Then, with Ehret, we’ll be leaders in our line.
Chorus
We’re all strong for Clement Ehret
In the cause of I. B. M.
He’s a Business Engineer,
None can match his fine career.
Clement Ehret, guiding star of I. B. M.
___________________________
9.
TO F. W. NICHOL, ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT, I. B. M.
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here?"
1. With Nichol, our Assistant Chief, there’s nothing we can’t do.
In war he proved his worth to us, in peace he’s shown it, too.
We know his great ability, his love for hard work, too,
Some Boy! Our Joy! We sing his praise anew.
2. In U. S. A. and Canada, he’s made a record fine.
His leadership unmatchable in our IBM line.
His sales-plan a real masterpiece-inspiring for all time.
Oh’ boy-Great Boy! in IBM’s great line.
3. He is a real Go-Getter! An organizer too!
That’s why he’s now our President’s right hand-great leader, too!
The IBM he’s mobilized with men all tried and true,
Oh boy! Great Boy! We know what "Nick" can do.
___________________________
10. TO W. F. BATTIN, TREASURER AND
COMPTROLLER, I. B. M.
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here"
1. The Watch-Dog of our Treasury commands our high esteem.
Of course he’s William Battin, expert financier so keen.
He surely guards our millions well-he makes our lives serene.
Dear Battin is our safety-valve in I. B. M’s regime.
2. At first he seems austere and cold, but those who know him best,
Will testify his sterling worth is ever manifest.
All I. B. M. is satisfied with our financial guide
Battin’s our true blue friend. He is our joy and pride.
___________________________
11. TO J. G. PHILLIPS, SECRETARY, I. B. M. CORP.
Tune: "When Johnny Comes Marching Home"
Behind the throne at 270 Broadway, there works a man,
Both day and night it’s his delight to do and plan
A thousand things for you and me and all our splendid Companies.
It is J. G. Phillips, yes! our President’s minute man.
A hundred eyes, ears, hands and feet, has George, you see?
They’re all employed for I. B. M. efficiency.
What would our fine Conventions be without J. G.’s activity?
I. B. M. loves dear George, our Secretary.
___________________________
12. TO SAMUEL M. HASTINGS,
CHAIRMAN SCALE FINANCE COMMITTEE
Tune: "My Old Kentucky Home"
We all honor you, Mr. Hastings, with your smile;
You’re a Leader in our Dayton Line.
We have learned from you, all your work is well worth while,
You’re our inspiration all the time.
You’re a Prince of men, we’ll cooperate with you
For success to our splendid I. B. M.
All our T. M. men and our I. T. R. men, too,
Are inspired by your fine Dayton men.
Chorus
Here’s to you, Sam Hastings, we’ll always follow you;
We are proud of you and your Dayton men true blue
In the glorious cause of I. B. M.
___________________________
13. A. WARD FORD ANNIVERSARY SONG
By William MacLardy
Tune: "In the Gloaming”
Forty years ago it happened
That a man with vision broad
Saw the wonders of a Time Clock
And his name was A. Ward Ford.
Little did he think in those days
That an industry would rise
From a simple Key Recorder
To Time Systems synchronized.
We are all most grateful to you;
We are here to homage pay
To your forty years of service,
Still an IBM mainstay.
May you many years continue
To be with us—help us grow;
Health and happiness pursue you
Every day where’er you go.
___________________________
14. CANBY ANNIVERSARY SONG
By William MacLardy
Tune: "Love’s Old Sweet Song”
Way back in "Eighteen Ninety” was the time,
There was a man with vision most sublime,
Aided the world—made perfect its great art
Of building Scales—Computing as a part.
Courage and funds were needed in that fight,
So Edward Canby gave with all his might.
Chorus
Mister Edward Canby,
Dayton pioneer,
Forty years of service,
With a smile of cheer.
We are here to honor,
In our simple way,
I. B. M. is grateful
To you alway,
Long may you with us stay.
___________________________
15. TO EDWARD CANBY,
VICE-PRESIDENT, DAYTON SCALE COMPANY
Tune: "There Are Smiles That Make Us Happy"
He is loved by all who know him —
Edward Canby, fine and true,
His great wealth and fellowship bestowing,
To big enterprises old and new
Of our Dayton Scales he is the father —
Modest, meek and princely is his style,
Mr. Canby, we revere and honor,
His example is well worth while.
___________________________
16. THE ANNIVERSARY SONG OF IBM
(Alternate—see 78)
(To the tune of "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp!”)
I.
Back in eighteen eighty-eight, we began to tabulate,
Then came time clocks and our scales to join the throng.
Just one thing we needed then,
It was given to us when
Our beloved T. J. Watson came along.
Chorus
Since then we’ve been marching onward,
Forty years we’ve led, you see!
IBM can proudly scan,
For the universe we span,
Let the welkin ring this anniversary!
II.
We are proud to feel that we can join in this jubilee,
Of the greatest company upon this earth.
We’ve found our place in the sun,
And we haven’t yet begun,
For we’ll always lead in things of business worth.
2nd Chorus
We sell goods in many countries;
We have spanned the Seven Seas!
If they use machines in Mars,
We will sell them some of ours,
Just to prove our sales po-ten-tial-i-ties!
III.
Institutions never die, and that is the reason why
IBM will carry on forevermore.
And we all will do our bit,
Just to add success to it;
To unprecedented heights we then will soar!
3rd Chorus
Forty years the march of progress
IBM is at its head;
T. J. Watson’s vision rare
Is the reason we are there,
He's a world acknowledged leader, born and bred!
___________________________
17. TO JAMES S. OGSBURY, PRESIDENT, DAYTON
SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "Oh, Mr. Gallagher"
Oh, men of Dayton! Our Scale Division!
You have taken from us our dear Sunny Jim.
Since he left dear old Broadway,
New York town is sad, I’ll say,
The Home Office positively misses him.
Oh, men of Dayton! Scale Men of Dayton!
James S. Ogsbury, your able President,
Is beloved by all our men,
He’s the bee in I. B. M.
We congratulate you, Dayton!
And our world wide I. B. M.
___________________________
18. TO WALTER D. JONES—EUROPEAN GENERAL
MANAGER, I. B. M.
Tune: "There Are Smiles”
Walter Jones helps everybody
In the cause of I. B. M.
His good service for all our divisions
Wins the admiration of all men
He’s our European General Manager,
Leader in promoting all our lines.
May we emulate our dear friend Walter—
In his I. B. M. Service fine.
___________________________
19. TO A. R. JENNINGS, IBM, EUROPE
Tune: "Polly Wolly Doodle”
1. Old London claims him as her own,
The Strand is his White Way;
But Paris is A. R.’s real home
His heart is light and gay.
2. Berlin adores his vim and pep,
And Brussels loves his style,
Old Rome is doing the Jennings step,
All Europe wears his smile.
3. He’s sold I. B. M. in every land,
For thirty years or more,
This pioneer of service grand,
Is loved on every shore.
Chorus
I. B. M.!—I. B. M.!
Everywhere you’ll find today,
A. R. Jennings’ has sold our products
In the European markets.
Here’s to Jennings of the IBM! Hurray
___________________________
20. TO FRANK C. VENNER, GENERAL WORKS MANAGER,
I.B.M.
Tune: "Smiles"
Frank C. Venner makes us happy
He’s a live-wire through and through;
He’s the head and heart of our big Factories,
Loved by every I. B. M. man, too.
All his promises we can depend on,
All divisions of our company know,
Frank’s the soul of true cooperation—
His fine work makes our business grow.
___________________________
21. TO JOSEPH T. WILSON, VICE PRESIDENT,
THE TABULATING MACHINE CO.
Tune: "Oh, Mr. Dooley"
Who's Quota King and everything denoting real success?
Who charts the world and maps our work that mankind we may bless?
Who is the gang-punch, sorter true, directing all our acts?
Who tabulates and verifies statistics, figures, facts?
His quietness and modest ways -- absorbing things worthwhile,
You think his mind is far away -- when presently he smiles.
He speaks!! You learn what you should know from Wilson's wisdom file;
We know his power, we're glad he's ours. His pattern is our style.
Chorus
It's J. T. Wilson! Vice-President Wilson
The best Accounting Engineer --That's so!
Oh, J. T. Wilson! Our dear Joe Wilson!
We men of IBM know he's some beau.
___________________________
22. TO EDWARD E. FORD, VICE-PRESIDENT,
I. T. R. COMPANY
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!"
1. We're proud of our Vice President because 'tis Edward Ford
The brilliant son of Pioneer in our I. T. R. Board.
He's won his laurels in the field by years of service fine
For I. B. M.'s big line.
2. He's loved by all who know him; Edward Ford is real and true.
We're satisfied when he decides what's best for us to do.
He's fair and square in everything -- he is a guiding star
Of our glorious I. T. R.
Chorus
Edward Ford, we're glad to serve you
Edward Ford, we'll always help you
Edward Ford, we all adore you--
Our friend and Manager.
___________________________
23. TO L. H. LaMOTTE, SALES MANAGER, T. M. CO.
Tune: "Marching Through Georgia"
We are proud of you LaMotte, and your work with all our men.
None has matched your record yet in all T. M.
With your guidance in the field, more customers we'll win,
Oh yes! LaMotte, you're a wonder.
Chorus
LaMotte, LaMotte, our hats are off to you!
Our I. B. M. has rightly honoured you
You're an inspiration to our world-wide service crew
L. H. LaMotte, you're a wonder.
___________________________
24. TO SAMUEL M. TEMPLETON, VICE-PRESIDENT AND SALES MANAGER, DAYTON SCALE COMPANY
Tune: "Sweet Peggy O'Neil"
We adore him, he's our style,
Sam Templeton.
Working, smiling all the while,
Sam Templeton.
Best Sales Manager we ever knew;
Always helping the whole Dayton crew;
Sweet personality, fine Scale authority;
Sam Templeton.
___________________________
25. TO L. S. HARRISON, SALES MANAGER, I. T. R. CO.
Tune: "Oh, Mr. Dooley"
A live-wire in our I. T. R. is Larry Harrison,
His knowledge of Electric Time is marvellous -- then some.
His genius as Engineer and Salesman, truly great.
Our field forces admire him -- his deeds we emulate.
Chorus
Oh; Larry Harrison, Dear Larry Harrison,
Your "Hourly Supervision" makes us go.
Your inspiration and fine direction--
Will make our I. T. R. big business grow.
___________________________
26. TO DANIEL J. MOYNIHAN
VICE-PRESIDENT, DAYTON SCALE COMPANY
Tune: "A Little Bit of Heaven”
Have you ever heard the story—how Dan Moynihan got his name?
His blarney gets the money and brings Dayton Scale great fame.
No wonder that we’re proud of Dan, he’s loved by you and me;
For here’s the way that T. J. Watson told the tale to me.
SURE a brilliant Star from Ireland fell from out the sky one day,
And nestled in Old Boston in a house down near the Bay.
And when the angels found him, sure he looked so sweet and fair,
They said, we’ll tell Sam Hastings, connoisseur of salesmen rare.
SURE, Computing Scale of Dayton knew just what and how to do—
With Moneyweight and Moynihan, great profits must accrue,
Then they made Dan our Vice-President, because his record’s grand;
He is up to date, REAL MONEYWEIGHT—our DANIEL MOYNIHAN.
___________________________
27. TO G. F. MORRIS, VICE PRESIDENT, I. B. M. OF CANADA
Tune: "There Are Smiles”
Everyone joins in this chorus,
Everybody likes him too,
For we sing a song to George F. Morris,
And our stalwart Royal Canadian crew.
He’s Vice President of IBM in Canada,
Wonderful his knowledge of our line.
He’s an organizer and go-getter
That’s why Canada is doing so fine.
___________________________
28. TO JAMES C. MILNER, VICE PRESIDENT, IBM OF CANADA
Tune: "Sweet Rosie O’Grady”
Jim Mimer from Canada,
Most everyone knows.
He always beats quota
Wherever he goes.
Our Canadian Company’s Vice President
And sales force all fine.
Watch him! his men will be leaders—
In selling our I. B. M. line.
___________________________
29. TO CHARLES BRUCE, TREASURER,
I. T. R. CO. AND T. M. CO.
Tune: "There Are Smiles That Make Us Happy"
Charlie Bruce makes us all happy,
He’s our Treasurer, don’t you see!
And besides, he’s Prince of geniality.
Always hustling, serving you and me.
In the I. T. R. he keeps things going —
In T. M. the boys all love him, too.
Here’s to Charlie Bruce, our faithful Treasurer,
Loyal pal in I. B. M. crew.
___________________________
30. TO PIERRE BONTECOU, TREASURER, DAYTON SCALE CO.
Tune: "I Want a Girl"
Pierre Bontecou, we all like you.
You modest, dear old Pal,
Faithful and true; everything you do
Is straight and practical.
In our T. M. for years you made big sales;
Now you’re Treasurer of Dayton Scale —
We’re strong for you — Pierre Bontecou —
Of glorious I. B. M.
___________________________
31
TO C. D. LAKE, CHIEF ENGINEER, ENDICOTT
Tune: "Sweet Peggy O’Neil”
When you want things done just right,
Tell C. D. Lake,
Always working, day and night,
That’s C. D. Lake.
He invents new machines every day,
Speeding our factory production, his play;
Originality, fine personality,
That’s our C. D. Lake.
___________________________
32. TO JAMES W. BRYCE, DEVELOPMENT ENGINEER
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here, Boys?"
Who solves our problems? Of course 'tis Mr. Bryce,
This International wizard great, does everything so nice.
Our I. B. M. is proud of him, none can match our brilliant Jim.
Engineering genius! Sure, that's Mr. Bryce.
His sparkling eye, electrical, his mind so bright and keen.
Converting all modern ideas into perfect machines.
The wonderful accomplishments of this live imp in improvements.
Oh, Bryce! Jim Bryce! You've made our lives serene.
___________________________
33. TO J. ROYDEN PEIRCE, HEAD OF INVENTION
DEPT. NO. 1
Tune: "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"
His mind is a fine laboratory.
Our problems he solves with great ease,
Unmatched his creative ability,
All I. B. M. patrons to please.
This great Engineer and Inventor
Of marvellous Accounting Machines,
Is a real guarantee that forever
I. B. M.'s line shall be supreme.
Chorus
Patents! Patents! J. Royden Peirce has them by the score.
Inventions! Inventions! Each day he creates more and more.
___________________________
34. TO F. M. CARROLL, HEAD OF INVENTION DEPT. NO. 2,
I. B. M.
Tune: "Eastside, Westside"
F. M. Carroll, we're all proud of you,
Engineering genius and a great inventor, too.
You solve every problem with devices new
I. B. M. shall always lead with Carroll and his crew.
___________________________
35. TO E. A. FORD, HEAD OF INVENTION DEPT. NO. 3
Tune: "While We Were Marching Through Georgia"
I. I. B. M. leads all the world with wonderful machines.
Our great Corps of Engineers command the highest esteem.
Every problem wisely solved by these Inventors keen,
To meet the needs of all people.
2. E. A. Ford's new Horizontal Sorter pleases all.
Speedy, quiet, beautiful! It surely has the call.
Every demonstration brings in orders large and small;
To Mr.Ford we are grateful.
Chorus
Hurrah, hurrah, for E. A. Ford's machine.
His Sorter and our Printer -- marvellous team;
Everyone acknowledges our products are supreme;
I. B. M. gives World Service.
___________________________
36. TO EUGENE F. HARTLEY,
MANAGER BUSINESS SERVICE DEPT., I. B. M.
Tune: "Auld Lang Syne"
Our I. B. M. selects the best of men from every line.
Our products and our Service must be first-class all the time.
That's why Eugene F. Hartley Statistician fine,
With vision large and knowledge rare, is serving our big line.
He knows where business can be found, he charts all Industries;
He is an expert Census man on world-wide businesses.
He guides our efforts with sales-plans for all emergencies.
We're glad he's ours, with all his powers and great capacities.
___________________________
37. TO ARCH DAVIS, ADVERTISING MANAGER, I. B. M.
Tune: "There Are Smiles That Make Us Happy"
We are proud of our Arch Davis,
None can match him in his line,
With the advertising that he gives us,
We can see his work is truly fine.
All his thoughts are always on all branches,
Of our world-wide International tree,
His ideas promote the art of selling,
Through I. B. M.'s fine publicity.
___________________________
38. TO LESTER HARKNESS, DIRECTOR, I. B. M. BUDGET
Tune: "In the Good Old Summer"
In the good old I. B. M.
We have many sterling men,
Lester Harkness helps us all no matter when we call
He’s I. B. M.’s real Budget Man.
With service prompt to all.
He’s fair to everybody.
That’s why LES is loved by all.
___________________________
39. TO GLEN H. ARMSTRONG, ASS’T SALES MANAGER,
TABULATING MACHINE DIVISION
Tune: "Take me out to the ball-game"
In Pennsy and Ohio
He’s made good for T. M.
Our Glen H. Armstrong’s a crackerjack
He’s going up and will never come back.
Glen’s our Assistant Sales Manager— The best in our TM game:
Come! give one, two, three cheers for Glen
And our I. B. M.
___________________________
40. TO R. A. BUSH, ASSISTANT SALES MANAGER, I. T. R. CO.
Tune: "There Are Smiles"
Dick has always been a leader
As a salesman of our line.
ITR is proud of this good Manager,
Every year his record has been fine.
R. A. Bush a real field organizer,
He has trained a host of good salesmen.
That’s why ITR’s a real big factor —
In success of our IBM.
___________________________
41. TO WILLIAM MacLARDY, MANAGER, EXHIBIT AND
WINDOW DISPLAY DEPARTMENT, I. B. M.
Tune: "I Love a Lassie"
We all love MacLardy
Faithful Bill MacLardy
On the job every moment in the year.
He serves everybody
Throughout all of our country,
His smile is I. B. M.’s best cheer.
___________________________
42. TO E. W. OGRAM, SERVICE MANAGER
Tune: "Good old Summer Time"
1. In the good old I. B. M., in the good old I. B. M.,
Ogram’s fine accomplishments are known to all our men!
As head of our servicemen, he solved all problems again
That’s why he’s Service Manager of our big I. B. M.
___________________________
43. TO E. C. SCHROEDEL, EXECUTIVE SECRETARY
Tune: "Brighten the Corner Where You Are"
Two Seventy Broadway, there he shines
Executive Secretary, always fine..
Unexcelled his knowledge of I. B. M.’s lines
Service—that’s Schroedel all the time.
___________________________
44. TO G, J. REBSAMEN, ASSISTANT MANAGER, FOREIGN
DIVISION, I. B. M.
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here, Boys?"
He speaks "a dozen languages”, he’s Internationally known,
In Europe and the Americas he’s very much at home.
He’s Mr. Nichol’s righthand man, our genial Rebsamen,
Efficient, faithful worker for worldwide IBM.
___________________________
45. TO W. M. WILSON, HEAD OF PATENTS AND
RESEARCH DEPT.
Tune: "Rings On My Fingers"
Who’s Head of Patents and Research for great I. B. M.
Of course W. M. Wilson is that bright diadem
His knowledge and genius will meet every demand
For future business machines in every land.
___________________________
46. TO W. L. LEWIS, ASSISTANT TO THE PRODUCTION
SUPERINTENDENT
Tune: "What’s the Matter With Father?"
Here’s to W. L. Lewis, he’s all right:
Always rendering service day and night.
He works with our crack engineering crew,
And with I. B. M.’s factory forces, too.
Here’s to W. L. Lewis, he’s all right.
___________________________
47. TO E. C. KUSTERER, MANAGER, I. B. M. DISTRICT No. 6
Tune: "There Are Smiles"
He has always been a leader
As a salesman of our line
I. B. M.’s Pacific Coast Sales Manager,
E. C. Kusterer’s record very fine.
All his men with him co-operating,
More big orders they are sending in,
Western business constantly increasing,
E. C. Kusterer — we’re proud of him.
___________________________
48. TO ROY STEPHENS, DISTRICT MANAGER, T. M. DIVISION
Tune: "In the Good Old Summer Time"
Roy’s a leader all the time in our good old TM line,
In old New York and District One, his record truly fine.
That’s why he’s District Manager, advancing all the time,
Some day he may be President of the IBM’s big line.
___________________________
49. TO W. F. TITUS, DISTRICT MANAGER, T. M. DIVISION
Tune: "Yes! We Have No Bananas"
Yes! He’s TM’s live wire,
Dear Titus a hustler, that’s true
A fine demonstrator,
Real salesman, none greater;
Admired by our Tabulating crew.
He’s an IBM real leader— Now TM District Manager.
Oh, yes! We’re proud of dear Titus. —
And all of his salesmen true blue.
___________________________
50. TO CHAS. R. OGSBURY, DISTRICT MANAGER,
T. M. DIVISION
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"
We’re proud of Charlie Ogsbury, a live-wire in T. M.
Always a Hundred Percenter in our glorious I. B. M.
He’s a Tabulating expert, well beloved by all our men
In District Number Two.
Chorus
Charlie Ogsbury’s a leader,
We will follow him forever.
He’s an I. B. M. real builder—
In District Number Two.
___________________________
51. TO E. F. GEIGER, DIVISION MANAGER, I. T. R.
Tune: "The Bells of St. Mary’s"
Our Good friend Ed. Geiger is now Western Manager.
He’s loved by all salesmen in our I. T. R.
He solves all time problems for prospects and users
He’ll put our Western men over the top this year.
___________________________
52. TO R. 0. CARDWELL, DIVISION MANAGER, I. T. R.
Tune: "Good Old Summer Time"
In the good old I. T. R., we have a shining star;
R. 0. Caidwell’s record proud-always ‘way above par.
In the sunny south he’s training men to sell I. B. M. line
And sales in his Division fine are growing all the time.
___________________________
53. TO F. J. BOUCHER, DISTRICT MANAGER,
SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "Way Down Upon the Suwanee River"
1. Here’s to our able Dayton worker
Happy alway;
Outstanding I. B. M. Go-Getter,
Our old friend Fred Boucher.
2. He is an able organizer,
Trainer of men,
In Europe and in North America
He’s builded I. B. M.
Chorus
All of us are proud of Freddie
And his fine Scale men.
Their sales are growing strong and steady
For glorious I. B. M.
___________________________
54. TO M. D. TRESCOTT, DISTRICT MANAGER,
SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "Let Me Call You Sweetheart"
M. D. Trescott leads our Western Scale men fine.
His Chicago record matchless all the time.
He’s an organizer in I. B. M.’s line.
Every salesman loves him-Dayton calls him "Mine."
___________________________
55. TO C. W. GREEN, DISTRICT MANAGER, SCALE DIVISION
Chorus of: "Away Down South in Dixie"
Away down South in Dixie - C. W. Green,
Is training men for I. B. M.-
Their sales are growing steadily.
Hurray, hurray, Green’s work shows real quality.
Dayton is gay - we’re proud of grand old Dixie -
___________________________
56. TO E. J. OLDROYD, SUPERINTENDENT, ENDICOTT
FACTORY
Tune: "Since you were sweet sixteen"
In Endicott, he’s loved by all our men
Our Factory Superintendent - excellent
He well deserves the praise of I. B. M.
So, here’s to you, dear Oldroyd, and all your men
In glorious I. B. M.
___________________________
57. TO W. H. FRYER, SUPERINTENDENT, DAYTON WORKS
Tune: "I’ve Been Working on the Railroad"
Fryer makes our Dayton Products,
Everything so fine,
Scales and Coffee Mills, Meat Slicers,
Wonderful store line!
His good staff has solved our problems -
Meeting business needs with best machines.
We’re all proud of W. H. Fryer -
And Dayton line supreme.
___________________________
58. TO FRED W. MOESER,
WORKS MANAGER, TORONTO PLANT
Tune: "I’ve Been Working on the Railroad"
I. B. M. is proud of Moeser.
He makes our three lines.
Our Canadian plant and workers,
Product superfine.
All Fred Moeser’s men adore him,
Like him they all serve faithfully.
I. B. M.’s great cause promoting -
Internationally.
___________________________
59. TO JOSEPH BRAITMAYER,
SUPERINTENDENT, WASHINGTON, D. C., WORKS
Tune: "I’ve Been Working On the Railroad"
Tabulating Cards his product
Millions every day.
His organization perfect -
For delivery right away.
That’s why our T. M. is prosperous
Joe keeps us happy all the time.
He’s the live-wire in our Service;
Joe Braitmayer is fine.
___________________________
60. TO H. KLECKLER, MAINTENANCE ENGINEER,
ENDICOTT FACTORY
Tune: "The Bells of St. Mary’s"
Our Endicott Factory gives Kieckler the glory -
In every department his work has been fine.
Our products proclaim him a genius most worthy.-
In perfecting machines for IBM’s big line.
___________________________
61. TO HARRY S. EVANS, WASHINGTON MANAGER I. B. M.
By F. W. Nichol’
Tune: "Tipperary"
1. Harry Evans, you’re a wonder, You’re a man we adore;
When you lead us in joyful singing,
Then the whole world cries for more.
With your cheery disposition,
And happy, snappy style,
You’re a true friend, dear Harry Evans,
You make life worth while.
2. Washington knows you’re a winner, You have won great renown;
And when it comes to great big orders,
Uncle Sam ne’er turns you down.
You’re the life of every party,
And to us you bring great joy;
We’d go a long, long way to find your equal,
Our own "Honey Boy."
___________________________
62. TO A. C. HEWITT, PURCHASING AGENT, I. B. M. CORP.
Tune: "Oh, Mr. Dooley"
1. Now A. C. Hewitt has some job-he buys a million things
And every land beneath the sun, its product to him brings.
His office staff, well-organized to serve our factories
And everything he does just right for all our companies.
Chorus
Oh, A. C. Hewitt! How do you do it?
You keep our factories always on the go,
With best materials from world-wide markets
To make our International business grow.
___________________________
63. TO J. L. BARTON, HEAD OF THE EMPLOYMENT AND
FACTORY SERVRICE DEPTS.
Tune: "Sweet Rosie O’Grady"
Faithful J. L. Barton, so loyal and true
He and all his good workers - fine Endicott crew!
Guarantee our production; fill our orders on time.
That’s why we all are so happy in selling our IBM line.
___________________________
65. TO C. E. BREADEN, ENGINEER, SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "The Bells of St. Mary’s"
We’re all proud of Dayton and Engineer Breaden,
He’s ever enlarging I. B. M.’s good line
That’s why we’re excelling, our sales always growing
Merchants demand more Dayton products all the time.
___________________________
66. TO E. J. VON PEIN, ENGINEER. SCALE DIVISION Yale
Tune: "My Name Is Solomon Levi"
In research and engineering work we’re foremost all the time
Thanks to our staff of learned men, led by Edward J. Von Pein . -
His laboratory is our guarantee that I. B. M. shall ever be
In truest service to the business world - the leading company.
___________________________
67. THE I. B. M. FAMILY
Tune: "Yip-I-Addy-I-Aye"
1. We’re the men of The I. B. M. We’re all happy you see.
International Business Machines, that is what I. B. M. always
means.
Tabulating, ITR, Dayton and International Scales,
Our products are best; all mankind they have blest; I. B. M. men are we.
2. We’re co-workers in I. B. M.-all one big family.
We save materials, time, and men; increasing profits to all business when
Accurate figures and weights and time - our machines guarantee.
Oh, joy! Oh, what bliss! We are members of this I. B. M.
Company.
___________________________
68. THE I. B. M. SERVICE
Tune: "Over There"
1. I. B. M. Sing again. Give a cheer for our great I. B. M.
We make Time Recorders and Tabulators
All kinds of Scales for business men
I. B. M. Watson men? We’re the boys of world-known I. B. M.
We’re T. M. men and I. T. R. men,
And we’re Scale men of the good old I. B. M.
2. I. B. M. Happy men. Our machines benefit business men.
Yes, the world now knows us; all men adore us,
Because our products profit them.
I. B. M. Watson men! Scale Divisions, I. T. R. and T. M.
Oh, it’s glorious! We are victorious!
In the World-Wide Service of our I. B. M.
___________________________
69. I. B. M. ONE HUNDRED PER CENT. CLUB
Tune: "I’ve Been Working On the Railroad"
We’re the I. B. M. Go-Getters,
All the live-long-day.
We are all Hundred Percenters
And will strive to be alway.
We have learned from Mr. Watson,
Loyally we’ll serve him all the time;
And we’ll help all of our salesmen
To sell our whole big line.
___________________________
70. THE I. B. M. ONE HUNDRED PER CENT. CLUB
RALLY SONG
College Tune: "Round Her Neck She Wears a Yeller Ribbon"
1. We are The I. B. M. Hundred Percenters,
Our President, Mr. Watson, has brought us here today;
We’re proud to be his loyal, faithful followers,
Because he is the finest man in all the U. S. A.
Chorus
I. B. M. - I. B. M.-
Prize Winners gathered here to celebrate;
T. M.-and Scale-and I. T. R. fine products,
We sell to all good business men in every land and state.
2. We are the men who sell I. B. M. products -
Tabulators, Time Recorders, Dayton and Industrial Scales.
In every land and clime we are successful,
Because our International Service never fails.
Chorus (Repeat)
3. We’re proud to be all I. B. M. Star Salesmen,
The records prove conclusively - our Quotas we have made.
We all enjoy that grand and glorious feeling,
Expressed in Mr. Watson’s Smile-Oh, Boys! It’s truly great!
Chorus (Repeat)
4. We're going home to help our fellow-salesmen,
So every man will join us in this Winner’s Club this year,
And then we'll have a rousing celebration
With I. B. M.'s great President again right here
Chorus (Repeat - ad libitum)
___________________________
71. THE I. B. M. ONE HUNDRED PER CENT. CLUB
-Number Two-
Special Tune
1. 0-h! It’s great to belong to this best of Clubs
In our glorious I. B. M.
We’re all one hundred per cent. men in President Watson’s band
We sell International products in every clime and land.
0-h! It’s great to belong to this live-wire gang
In our world-famed I. B. M.
2. 0-h! We’ve all had a wonderful time this year
Selling the I. B. M.
We’ve won Mr. Watson’s prizes, that’s why we smile and cheer.
You see we’re very happy-we’ve won! That’s why we’re here.
0-h! It’s great to belong to this live-wire gang
In our glorious I. B. M.
___________________________
72. TO THE I. B. M. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CLUB
-Number Three-
Tune: "It’s a Long Way to Tipperary"
1. Our Star Salesmen-I. B. M. men
See their records so fine.
President Watson’s honor salesman,
They’re our matchless winning line.
They have blazed their trail with glory,
To the end of earthly time-
When Saint Peter hears their wondrous story -
Oh! Welcome Divine!
2. Make a big noise, for you are our boys,
I. B. M.’s proud of you.
T. J. Watson boys-you’re our real joys;
Our success to you is due.
Splendidly you’ve made your quotas,
For our world-famed four big lines;
T. M. - Scales - and I. T. R. victorious
By your records fine.
___________________________
73. OUR FOUR BIG LINES
Tune: "Mademoiselle from Armentieres"
1. What do we do for Business Men? Tabulate!
What do we do for Office Men? Tabulate!
The Railroad Man, Insurance man?
Our Uncle Sam and Every Man? We tell them all to tabulate!
2. What do we sell the Factory Man? 1. T. R.’s.
What do we sell the Office Man? I. T. R.’s.
The Wholesale Man, the Retail Man,
The Schools, the Banks, the Railroad Man?
We sell them all OUR I. T. R.’s.
3. What do we sell the Butcherman? Dayton Scales.
What do we sell the Grocerman? Dayton Scales.
The Candyman, the Hardwareman, the Factory and the Laundryman.
All are using Dayton Scales.
4. What do we sell the Factories? Industrial Scales.
What do we sell all Industries? Industrial Scales.
We sell them to all Governments, And service great establishments - Industrial Scales.
5. What do we sell the Industrial Men? I. B. M.
What do we sell the Wholesale Men? I. B. M.
The Schools, the Banks, and Retail Men?
All o’er the World we service them. We sell them all our I. B. M.!
Chorus
And we sell the bloomin’ lot
Whether it’s cold or whether it’s hot. I. B. M.
___________________________
74. OUR I. B. M. SALESMEN
Tune: "Jingle Bells"
1. I. B. M., Happy men, smiling all the way.
Oh what fun it is to sell our products night and day.
I. B. M., Watson men, partners of T. J.
In his service to mankind-that’s why we are so gay.
2. I. B. M., Watson men, International line:
Proud T. M. - Dayton Scale - and I. T. R. so fine
I. B. M. goods and men, leaders all the time.
Saving money, time and men, in every land and clime.
___________________________
75. THE I. B. M. WORKERS AND SERVICE
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here, Boys"
1. We’re all proud co-workers in glorious I. B. M.
It is the greatest Corporation serving business men.
We make machines most wonderful, performing business miracles,
All Nations use them and praise our I. B. M.
2. We tabulate statistics the new electric way.
Accounting tasks we do so fast, our customers all say
That our T. M. is saving them, materials, time, money and men.
Oh, boy! Oh, joy! I. B. M. Hurray!
3. We regulate the World’s time in true electric style.
Our I. T. R. Recorders are the best, both Card and Dial.
Half a million Industries in America and overseas
Glorify and testify that I. B. M.’s worth while.
4. The World’s progressive merchants now use I. B. M. Scales.
Our Slicers, Choppers, Coffee Mills, increase the dealers’ sales.
We’re profit-makers for mankind; in every line of trade you’ll find
I. B. M. machines and men. Our Service never fails.
___________________________
76. THE I. B. M. SLOGAN
Who are we? Who are we?
The International Family.
We are T. J. Watson men -
We represent the I. B. M.
Are we right? Well, I should smile!
We’ve been right for a very long while.
___________________________
77. THE I. B. M. FOREVER
Tune: "Hurrah for the Flag of the Free"
All hurrah for our great I. B. M.
We’ll serve every nation forever.
Our Scales, I. T. R., and T. M.
Blessing all humanity.
International Business Machines
Shall enoble all human endeavor -
Promoting world-wide honesty
With T. J. Watson’s International right standards.
___________________________
78. THE ANNIVERSARY SONG OF I. B. M.
Tune: "Marching through Georgia"
1. I. B. M. is marching on to world-wide victory
Born in 1888, and now full-grown, you see.
T. M., Scales, and I. T. R.-one fine big family
The I. B. M. Corporation.
2. Forty years we’ve served mankind with marvelous machines,
In every modern business place our products are supreme.
Man-power, time, and money saved for commerce kings and queens-thru
The I. B. M. Corporation.
3. International is our name and it well befits our line,
Serving in all nations-we’re known in every clime.
Just watch us grow from year to year until the end of time,
Our I. B. M. Corporation.
Chorus
Hurrah! Hurrah! for glorious I. B. M.
Hurrah! Hurrah! we’re T. J. Watson men.
Fortieth Anniversary of great accomplishment
By I. B. M. Corporation.
___________________________
79. WE ARE THE I. B. M.
Tune: "Iowa-That’s Where the Tall Corn Grows"
We’re the I. B. M. - I. B. M.
T. J. Watson men
International men
We’re the I. B. M. - I. B. M.
Serving the whole wide world.
___________________________
80. TO OUR I. B. M. BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"
1. Our I. B. M. Directors are all great commercial men;
They’re U. S. A.’s financial kings of learned acumen.
They give us their experience and untiring efforts when
They’re serving the I. B. M.
2. Their wisdom in directing this world service Company
Is yielding benefits to all and our prosperity.
Our I. B. M. promotes good-will and sterling honesty
For all Humanity.
Chorus
Here’s to I. B. M.’s Directors,
And our many fine Stockholders.
International Peace Promoters,
Now known as I. B. M.
___________________________
81. OUR FACTORIES AND PRODUCTS
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah !"
1. Manned by loyal workers are the Plants of I. B. M.
All equipment up-to-date, and managed by big men.
Endicott and Dayton works, Toronto, Washington,
France, England, Germany.
2. Overseas we also make our marvelous machines,
Round the globe in every land, our Service is supreme.
I. B. M.’s fine products are the joy of Kings and Queens
We serve Humanity.
Chorus
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!
All the Nations are our users.
Every business man a Booster
Of I. B. M. machines.
___________________________
82. TO THE FAITHFUL WORKERS IN OUR FACTORIES
Tune: "Till We Meet Again"
We salesmen are glad to be with you,
You have made our product good and true.
Our success is guaranteed- Because your work is fine indeed -
None can match the men of I. B. M.,
Product made by honest, faithful men,
All the world gives praise to you,
Loyal workers true.
___________________________
83. THE FOREMEN IN I. B. M. FACTORIES
Tune: "Tramp, the Boys Are Marching"
1. Foremen of our I. B. M., none can match these able men;
In our factories they’re producers all the time.
Our success depends on them and their faithful fine workmen;
They build quality in I. B. M.’s big line.
2. All our Foremen, splendid crew, fine Executives, true blue,
By our President are rightly recognized.
He selects good men and true for the great work we must do,
In the noble cause of I. B. M. world-wide.
Chorus
Here’s to you, our Factory Foremen,
Builders of our four great lines.
Promptly meeting each demand of our trade in every land,
With our I. B. M. fine products all the time.
___________________________
84. ENDICOTT FACTORIES AND WORKERS
Tune: "Carry Me Back to Old Virginny"
Gladly we meet at our fine Factories
Where Scales and Time Clocks and our T. M. lines are made;
Today we see how most careful attention
To every detail of producing them is paid.
Vain would we spend weary hours with our prospects;
Vain would our best selling talks and efforts be -.
Did not the product fulfill most completely
All the requirements of our contract’s Guarantee.
Chorus
Gladly we meet here in our Factories -
Home of our Clocks and Scales, T. M. lines as well;
Grasp by the hand all our men who so grandly
Keep up the standard of the products which we sell.
___________________________
85. DAYTON FACTORIES AND WORKERS
Tune: "That’s Why I Need You"
We are proud of Dayton factories,
And our foremen faithful, true;
All our workers strong and steady-
Our Dayton loyal crew.
Yes, you make the finest product,
Everybody knows it, too;
To I. B. M. great fame you’ve brought.
That’s why we need you!
___________________________
86. CANADIAN I. B. M. ORGANIZATION
Tune: "The Maple Leaf Forever"
You’ve earned your wreath of Maple Leaf!
Men of Canada you are game!
You’ve shown us all what you can do,
And won a glorious name.
From Vancouver to Nova Sco’!
With real vim, push and vigor,
We’re proud of our Canadian beaux.
In I. B. M. forever.
Chorus
The Maple Leaf your emblem dear,
With Stars and Stripes together;
God bless you kingly gentlemen,
In I. B. M. forever.
___________________________
87. OVERSEA I. B. M. ORGANIZATIONS
Tune: "Why Don’t You Sing ‘Too-ra-lee, Too-ra-lee-ay"
1. Our I. B. M. products are used in all lands.
Each year brings increasing International demands.
Our Overseas Salesmen are making big sales
Of Tabulators, Time Systems, Dayton and Industrial Scales.
2. In Europe we own several big companies,
With excellent sales-forces, fine factories;
And Latin-America is well organized,
With I. B. M. Service, they’re all satisfied.
Chorus
Too-ra-lee! Tooralee! Too-ra-lay! Tooralay!
With I. B. M. Service, they’re all satisfied.
___________________________
88. TO OUR IBM HOME OFFICE STAFF
270 Broadway, New York
Tune: "Polly Wolly Doodle"
In Old New York, at 270 Broadway,
They’re working night and day.
Our I. B. M. fine girls and men-
All tasks to them, mere play.
Our President Watson’s loyal band,
Well-serving our Four Lines.
All faithful workers, heart and hand,
Two hundred brilliant minds.
Chorus
IBM IBM IBM’s Home Office Staff.
Tabulating, Time Recording, and our Scales, they’re all promoting -
Our I. B. M. Home Office Staff.
___________________________
89. TO OUR I. B. M. GIRLS
Tune: "They’re Style All the While"
The office girls surely are always in style,
They greet you with smiles, their welcome’s worth while.
The best in the world are our girls, rank and file,
They’re style all the while - all the while.
They’ve made our I. B. M. complete and worth while,
They work and they smile-so sweetly they smile;
Tall, short, thin and stout girls-they win by a mile -
With heavenly styles all the while.
___________________________
90. OUR SALESMEN
Tune: "Oh! How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning"
Oh! how I love to get up in the morning,
Oh! how I love to get out and work;
But the thing I can’t make out
Is to hear a prospect shout:
"You gotta come back, you gotta come back,
You gotta come back tomorrow."
Some day I’m going to get that order,
I know they need I. B. M. Machines,
But that doesn’t help my quota, so
Next day I’ll put it over,
That’s why I love to get out and work.
(Continued on next page)
___________________________
91. TO THE I. B. M. QUARTER CENTURY CLUB
Yale Tune: "Solomon Levi"
1. We hail The Quarter Century Club of our good I. B. M.
Whose members are all pioneers -- all honour be to them.
They've served our cause continuously for twenty-five full years.
They've made I. B. M. what it is -- to them we give our cheers.
2. Their loyalty and faithfulness command our high regards
Mr. Watson, our fine President, has blessed them with rewards.
In due time we will join this Club of I. B. M.'s elite,
Then, we'll enjoy true happiness -- our lives will be complete.
Chorus
Happy Quarter Century Club, pride of I. B. M.
Faithful men of Scale forces, I. T. R. and T. M.
We'll join you all as soon as we can; then, happy we will be,
With you in Quarter Century Club -- best I. B. M. Family.
___________________________
92. WHY THEY CALL US I. B. M.
Tune: "A Little Bit of Heaven"
Have you ever heard the story -- how the I. B. M. was named?
I'll tell you so you'll understand from whence this Big Four came.
No wonder we are proud of this successful Company,
For here's the way Old Father Time revealed the tale to me.
Samuel Hastings came from Dayton with Computing Scale one day Met
Geo. Fairchild and financiers of old Wall Street and Broadway,
They owned the Hollerith Tabulating Systems -- wondrous line
And International modern methods of recording time.
Sure, immediately they recognised that Moneyweight meant "dough,"
With Hollerith and Bundy -- this triumvirate would go.
Then they found a genius, Watson, greatest leader of all men;
Now this great and prosperous Company is known as I. B. M.
___________________________
93. I. B. M. WORKERS
Tune: "Oh, Boy! Oh, Joy! Where Do We Go From Here?"
Oh, boy! Oh, joy! Where do we go from here?
Back to our home town to work
Without a bit of fear.
We've got the pep, so you can bet
On us this coming year.
Oh, boy! Oh, joy,! Where do we go from here?
___________________________
94. OUR PRESIDENT'S MOTTO: "THINK"
Tune: "Yankee Doodle"
1. T-H-I-N-K spells THINK --
Our President Watson's motto.
It saves mistakes, lost time and ink.
You'll then do what you ought to.
2. T-H-I-N-K is THINKI
'Tis good for brain and body,
Then dark blue visions change to pink.
And you'll please everybody.
Chorus
T-H-I-N-K that's THINK --
Get ideas big and wholesome;
And you'll not be the missing link,
You'll learn from Mr. Watson.
___________________________
95. INTERNATIONAL ELECTRIC ACCOUNTING MACHINES
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here, Boys?"
1. Up-to-date Accounting is done the Electric way.
With I. B. M. machines all drudgery is done away.
In America and Overseas we serve all kinds of businesses,
A thousand leading industries now testify, "It pays."
2. We punch the cards and sort them by our electric machines,
Which then compute and print results so marvellous it seems!
This International System saves you time and money every day,
Investigate and verify the truth of all we say.
3. We tabulate the Census for our good Uncle Sam,
Many Government Bureaux now are served by I. B. M.
Correct results and utmost speed by our machines are guaranteed.
All users say so they praise the I. B. M.
___________________________
96. I. B. M. TABULATING MACHINES
Tune: "Till We Meet Again"
Punch a card for every sale that's made.
There's a record which will never fade.
Sort them out by man and state!
Speedily we tabulate.
All such tasks we accurately do--
Payrolls, costs, and inventories true.
Thousands use and praise them too
[. B. M. machines.
___________________________
97. OUR TABULATING SALES AND SERVICE MEN
Tune: "Tipperary"
Facts and figures, all statistics
We correctly compile.
Rapid system - yes, electric -
The most modern business style.
Tabulating Sales and Service,
Marvelous the work we do.
We put live-wire brains in every business
With T. M. machines and crew.
___________________________
98. USE INTERNATIONAL TIME RECORDERS
By F. W. Nichol
Tune: "It’s a Long Way to Tipperary"
1. It’s a wrong way to use a long way,
There’s but one way we know,
Oh, you bosses, check your losses,
If your business is to grow.
Good-bye to "antique" systems,
Time clocks lessen care;
Put The Internationals in your business,
They treat all men square.
2. It’s a wrong way to pull a brass check,
It’s a long way, you know;
To write the name down in some old pass book
Is also very slow.
Our International Time Recorder
Is the best way that we know.
And we never fail to sell "live wires."
Wherever we go.
___________________________
99. INTERNATIONAL TIME RECORDERS
Tune: "There Are Smiles That Make Us Happy"
1. There are clocks with chimes and music
Clocks where cuckoo shows its head;
Also clocks that wake you in the morning,
When you much prefer to stay in bed;
But the clocks which solve the payroll problems -
Give employers all the time they buy,
Are our International fine products -
Which we’re all here to advertise.
2. Card and Dial and Job-Recorders,
Autograph and Time-Stamps, too;
They are all real time-saving devices,
Doing better work than humans do.
In red ink they show all tardy records,
Printing all the early ones in blue;
Thus eliminating labor disputes -
And increasing production, too.
___________________________
100. OUR TIME RECORDER DIVISION
Tune: "In My Harem"
By F. W. Nichol
Oh, this business-this business?
This Time Recorder business;
There never was a minute
That another one was in it.
Sales for breakfast, sales for dinner,
Sales for supper-time.
Orders, orders, orders, for machines that record time.
Oh, this business, this business
You’re big-we’ll make you bigger.
And the things we do
Will surely make of you -
The finest business in all the land.
___________________________
101. DAYTON SCALES
Tune: "Yankee Doodle"
Moneyweight Computing Scales,
All made right in Dayton,
Correctly weigh and value sales
And satisfy all nations.
Chorus
Dayton Scales are always right,
Save your goods and money;
Never heavy nor too light
They value just exactly.
___________________________
102. TO THE INTERNATIONAL SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"
1. The products of our I. B. M., are always in the lead.
They're welcomed by all business men, they meet their greatest needs.
Our latest line -- Industrial Scales -- world markets gladly greet,
And make our joy complete.
2. Industrial Scales in many styles, of light and heavy type;
We make for shops and factories, each unit always right.
Approved by leading Engineers -- all users they delight --
That's why we know they're right.
Chorus
All hail! Industrial Scale Division!
Of I. B. M.'s great organisation!
Here's to our Industrial Scale Division.
In I. B. M.'s big line.
___________________________
103. TO OUR I. B. M. ENGINEERS
Tune: "Mademoiselle from Armentieres"
We're proud of all our Engineers in I. B. M.
No problem is insolvable to these great men.
Their mastery of the technical -- mechanical -- electrical --
Behold in their accomplishments.
Each year they perfect new machines for I. B. M.
Superior products all the time for business men.
We thank and praise our Engineers,
The whole wide world unites in cheers,
To the Engineers of I. B. M.
___________________________
104. WE'RE HUNDRED PERCENTERS
Tune: "Heigh Ho! Everybody"
(Composed by V. O. Sturtevant and J. P. Saxton-- Endicott Factory)
We're Hundred Percenters!
We can't be lamenters!
HEIGH HO! Mr. Watson, HEIGH HO!
Up early each morning,
When daylight is dawning
And out after orders we go!
Our business grows in every land
We'll let the whole world know!
We're proud to be in Watson's band
Of quota busters -- SO!
There's no time for grumbling
When records we're tumbling,
We're Hundred Percenters! HEIGH HO!
___________________________
105. SELLING IBM
Tune: "Singing in the Rain"
(By J. P. Saxton, Endicott Factory)
Selling I. B. M., we're selling I. B. M.,
What a glorious feeling, the world is our friend,
We're Watson's great crew, we're loyal and true;
We're proud of our job and we never feel blue.
We sell our whole line, we're there every time,
To chase away gloom with our products so fine,
We're always in trim, we work with a vim,
We're selling, just selling, I. B. M.
___________________________
106. PAINTING THE CLOUDS WITH SUNSHINE
Tune: "Painting the Clouds With Sunshine"
(By J. P. Saxton, Endicott Factory)
We don’t pretend we’re gay,
We always feel that way,
Because we’re filling the world with sunshine.
With I. B. M. machines,
We’ve got the finest means,
For brightly painting the clouds
Records we make, only to break,
Teaching the whole world to know
I. B. M.’s line, will all the time,
Help it to grow.
When things do not look bright,
Our products make them right,
And keep on painting the clouds with sunshine.
Verse:
There's a thrill in store for all
for we're about to toast
the corporation that we represent.
we're here to cheer each pioneer
and also proudly boast,
of that man of men
our friend and guiding hand
the name of T.J. Watson means
a courage none can stem
and we feel honored to be
here to toast the IBM.
Chorus:
Ever onward! ever onward!
that's the spirit that has brought us fame.
we're big but bigger we will be,
we can't fail for all can see,
that to serve humanity has been our aim.
our products now are known
in every zone.
our reputation sparkles like a gem.
we've fought our way through
and new fields we're sure to conquer, too,
for the ever onward IBM!
Ever onward! ever onward!
we're bound for the top to never fall,
right here and now we thankfully
pledge sincerest loyalty
to the corporation that's the best of all
our leaders we revere
and while we're here,
let's show the world just what we think of them!
so let us sing men - sing men
once or twice, then sing again
for the ever onward IBM!
An extra verse from the above IBM songsheet has been offered
courtesy of Joe Kessleman.
There's a feeling everywhere of bigger things in store
Of new horizons coming into view
Our aim is clear: To make each year exceed the one before
Staying in the lead in everything we do
The "will to win" is built right in, it will not be denied
And we will go ahead, we know, working side by side....
To play the above IBM classic company song, click here for the .WAV file version (1.46MB)
106 IBM Company Songs
1. AMERICA
My country, ‘tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty
Of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrim’s pride,
From every mountain side,
Let freedom ring.
GREAT BRITAIN AND CANADA
2. God save our gracious King,
Long live our noble King,
God save our King.
Send him victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us,
God save our King.
___________________________
2. STAR-SPANGLED BANNER
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro’ the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro’ the night that our flag was still there.
Chorus
Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
___________________________
3. TO THOS. J. WATSON, PRESIDENT, I. B. M.
OUR INSPIRATION
Tune: "Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean"
Thomas Watson is our inspiration,
Head and soul of our splendid IBM.
We are pledged to him throughout all nations,
He’s our President and most beloved man.
His great wisdom has guided each division
In such service to all humanity
That we all unite to make this one decision,
None can match him or our worldwide company.
Chorus
T. J. Watson, we all honor you,
You’re so big and so square and so true,
We will follow and serve with you forever,
All the world shall know what I. B. M. can do.
___________________________
4. TO THOS. J. WATSON
YOU’RE OUR LEADER FINE
Tune: "Auld Lang Syne"
T. J. Watson-you’re our leader fine, the greatest in the land,
We sing your praises from our hearts we’re here to shake your hand.
You’re IBM’s bright guiding star you’re big and square and true.
No matter what the future brings, we all will follow you.
You’ve made our IBM so great in every land and clime
Our service meets all needs of men on Weights, Accounts and Time.
You’ve brought us through to victory, with leadership so fine,
We’ll always love and honor you for the sake of Auld Lang Sync.
___________________________
5. TO THOS. J. WATSON, PRESIDENT, I. B. M.
Tune: "Pack Up Your Troubles"
1. Pack up your troubles Mr. Watson’s here!
And smile, smile, smile.
He is the genius in our I. B. M.
He’s the man worth while.
He’s inspiring all the time,
On Wall Street he’s sublime! Fine.
He is our own, our matchless President!
His smile’s worth while.
2. "He’s a real father and a friend so true."
Say all we boys.
Ever he thinks of things to say and do,
To increase our joys.
He’s a builder real and true.
His work will never die. That’s -
Why we love T. J. Watson all the while-
He’s God’s best style.
___________________________
6. OTTO E. BRAITMAYER, VICE-PRESIDENT I. B. M.
Tune: "Tipperary"
1. We adore you, Otto Braitmayer
Our great pioneer,
You’re a wise and able leader.
And you always are sincere.
You’re our President’s right bower-
Our Manufacturing Guiding Star,
I. B. M. will honor you forever
Vice-President Braitmayer.
2. Your great knowledge, efforts untiring
Guide us safely each day,
Every act is to us inspiring
We believe all that you say.
You’re our noble elder brother,
Real pal in every way.
Help all of us to help each sther.
God bless you always.
___________________________
7. O. E. BRAITMAYER ANNIVERSARY SONG
(To the tune of "Marching Through Georgia")
I.
Who’s the man with us today who forty years ago
Saw the birth of IBM and helped to make it grow,
Fed the first of hope and faith and fanned them to a glow?
It’s our dear friend, Otto Braitmayer!
Chorus
We’re here to cheer him on his victory;
Through all these years he’s worked for you and me,
He’s set us an example of true zeal and loyalty
That’s why we all love Otto Braitmayer!
II.
Who, in pioneering days has helped to man the helm
And steer us safely through the shoals that sought to overwhelm
The good ship IBM that now is known throughout the realm?
It’s our good friend, Otto Braitmayer!
2nd Chorus
Hooray! Hooray! for you we proudly cheer!
And well we may, beloved pioneer!
Your squareness and your fairness are the things we hold most dear,
That’s why we love Otto Braitmayer!
III.
Modern days and modern ways have changed things by the score,
Business makes demands on men it never did before.
Ahead of the procession still, as in the days of yore
Is our old friend, Otto Braitmayer!
3rd Chorus
We sing his praise; his name we all revere,
On life’s highways, you’ll never meet his peer,
We greet this opportunity to pay him homage here,
That’s how we feel, Otto Braitmayer!
___________________________
8. TO CLEMENT EHRET, VICE-PRESIDENT, I. B. M.
Tune: "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys Are Marching"
1. In the glorious I. B. M. we are blest with mighty men,
Whom we honor, serve, and manfully adore.
Clement Ehret’s one of them, he inspires all our men
He will make the International Scale Division grow.
2. He’s a high-speed dynamo--day and night he’s on the go.
International his vision all the time.
Our big line he surely knows; we will study, work and grow;
Then, with Ehret, we’ll be leaders in our line.
Chorus
We’re all strong for Clement Ehret
In the cause of I. B. M.
He’s a Business Engineer,
None can match his fine career.
Clement Ehret, guiding star of I. B. M.
___________________________
9.
TO F. W. NICHOL, ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT, I. B. M.
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here?"
1. With Nichol, our Assistant Chief, there’s nothing we can’t do.
In war he proved his worth to us, in peace he’s shown it, too.
We know his great ability, his love for hard work, too,
Some Boy! Our Joy! We sing his praise anew.
2. In U. S. A. and Canada, he’s made a record fine.
His leadership unmatchable in our IBM line.
His sales-plan a real masterpiece-inspiring for all time.
Oh’ boy-Great Boy! in IBM’s great line.
3. He is a real Go-Getter! An organizer too!
That’s why he’s now our President’s right hand-great leader, too!
The IBM he’s mobilized with men all tried and true,
Oh boy! Great Boy! We know what "Nick" can do.
___________________________
10. TO W. F. BATTIN, TREASURER AND
COMPTROLLER, I. B. M.
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here"
1. The Watch-Dog of our Treasury commands our high esteem.
Of course he’s William Battin, expert financier so keen.
He surely guards our millions well-he makes our lives serene.
Dear Battin is our safety-valve in I. B. M’s regime.
2. At first he seems austere and cold, but those who know him best,
Will testify his sterling worth is ever manifest.
All I. B. M. is satisfied with our financial guide
Battin’s our true blue friend. He is our joy and pride.
___________________________
11. TO J. G. PHILLIPS, SECRETARY, I. B. M. CORP.
Tune: "When Johnny Comes Marching Home"
Behind the throne at 270 Broadway, there works a man,
Both day and night it’s his delight to do and plan
A thousand things for you and me and all our splendid Companies.
It is J. G. Phillips, yes! our President’s minute man.
A hundred eyes, ears, hands and feet, has George, you see?
They’re all employed for I. B. M. efficiency.
What would our fine Conventions be without J. G.’s activity?
I. B. M. loves dear George, our Secretary.
___________________________
12. TO SAMUEL M. HASTINGS,
CHAIRMAN SCALE FINANCE COMMITTEE
Tune: "My Old Kentucky Home"
We all honor you, Mr. Hastings, with your smile;
You’re a Leader in our Dayton Line.
We have learned from you, all your work is well worth while,
You’re our inspiration all the time.
You’re a Prince of men, we’ll cooperate with you
For success to our splendid I. B. M.
All our T. M. men and our I. T. R. men, too,
Are inspired by your fine Dayton men.
Chorus
Here’s to you, Sam Hastings, we’ll always follow you;
We are proud of you and your Dayton men true blue
In the glorious cause of I. B. M.
___________________________
13. A. WARD FORD ANNIVERSARY SONG
By William MacLardy
Tune: "In the Gloaming”
Forty years ago it happened
That a man with vision broad
Saw the wonders of a Time Clock
And his name was A. Ward Ford.
Little did he think in those days
That an industry would rise
From a simple Key Recorder
To Time Systems synchronized.
We are all most grateful to you;
We are here to homage pay
To your forty years of service,
Still an IBM mainstay.
May you many years continue
To be with us—help us grow;
Health and happiness pursue you
Every day where’er you go.
___________________________
14. CANBY ANNIVERSARY SONG
By William MacLardy
Tune: "Love’s Old Sweet Song”
Way back in "Eighteen Ninety” was the time,
There was a man with vision most sublime,
Aided the world—made perfect its great art
Of building Scales—Computing as a part.
Courage and funds were needed in that fight,
So Edward Canby gave with all his might.
Chorus
Mister Edward Canby,
Dayton pioneer,
Forty years of service,
With a smile of cheer.
We are here to honor,
In our simple way,
I. B. M. is grateful
To you alway,
Long may you with us stay.
___________________________
15. TO EDWARD CANBY,
VICE-PRESIDENT, DAYTON SCALE COMPANY
Tune: "There Are Smiles That Make Us Happy"
He is loved by all who know him —
Edward Canby, fine and true,
His great wealth and fellowship bestowing,
To big enterprises old and new
Of our Dayton Scales he is the father —
Modest, meek and princely is his style,
Mr. Canby, we revere and honor,
His example is well worth while.
___________________________
16. THE ANNIVERSARY SONG OF IBM
(Alternate—see 78)
(To the tune of "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp!”)
I.
Back in eighteen eighty-eight, we began to tabulate,
Then came time clocks and our scales to join the throng.
Just one thing we needed then,
It was given to us when
Our beloved T. J. Watson came along.
Chorus
Since then we’ve been marching onward,
Forty years we’ve led, you see!
IBM can proudly scan,
For the universe we span,
Let the welkin ring this anniversary!
II.
We are proud to feel that we can join in this jubilee,
Of the greatest company upon this earth.
We’ve found our place in the sun,
And we haven’t yet begun,
For we’ll always lead in things of business worth.
2nd Chorus
We sell goods in many countries;
We have spanned the Seven Seas!
If they use machines in Mars,
We will sell them some of ours,
Just to prove our sales po-ten-tial-i-ties!
III.
Institutions never die, and that is the reason why
IBM will carry on forevermore.
And we all will do our bit,
Just to add success to it;
To unprecedented heights we then will soar!
3rd Chorus
Forty years the march of progress
IBM is at its head;
T. J. Watson’s vision rare
Is the reason we are there,
He's a world acknowledged leader, born and bred!
___________________________
17. TO JAMES S. OGSBURY, PRESIDENT, DAYTON
SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "Oh, Mr. Gallagher"
Oh, men of Dayton! Our Scale Division!
You have taken from us our dear Sunny Jim.
Since he left dear old Broadway,
New York town is sad, I’ll say,
The Home Office positively misses him.
Oh, men of Dayton! Scale Men of Dayton!
James S. Ogsbury, your able President,
Is beloved by all our men,
He’s the bee in I. B. M.
We congratulate you, Dayton!
And our world wide I. B. M.
___________________________
18. TO WALTER D. JONES—EUROPEAN GENERAL
MANAGER, I. B. M.
Tune: "There Are Smiles”
Walter Jones helps everybody
In the cause of I. B. M.
His good service for all our divisions
Wins the admiration of all men
He’s our European General Manager,
Leader in promoting all our lines.
May we emulate our dear friend Walter—
In his I. B. M. Service fine.
___________________________
19. TO A. R. JENNINGS, IBM, EUROPE
Tune: "Polly Wolly Doodle”
1. Old London claims him as her own,
The Strand is his White Way;
But Paris is A. R.’s real home
His heart is light and gay.
2. Berlin adores his vim and pep,
And Brussels loves his style,
Old Rome is doing the Jennings step,
All Europe wears his smile.
3. He’s sold I. B. M. in every land,
For thirty years or more,
This pioneer of service grand,
Is loved on every shore.
Chorus
I. B. M.!—I. B. M.!
Everywhere you’ll find today,
A. R. Jennings’ has sold our products
In the European markets.
Here’s to Jennings of the IBM! Hurray
___________________________
20. TO FRANK C. VENNER, GENERAL WORKS MANAGER,
I.B.M.
Tune: "Smiles"
Frank C. Venner makes us happy
He’s a live-wire through and through;
He’s the head and heart of our big Factories,
Loved by every I. B. M. man, too.
All his promises we can depend on,
All divisions of our company know,
Frank’s the soul of true cooperation—
His fine work makes our business grow.
___________________________
21. TO JOSEPH T. WILSON, VICE PRESIDENT,
THE TABULATING MACHINE CO.
Tune: "Oh, Mr. Dooley"
Who's Quota King and everything denoting real success?
Who charts the world and maps our work that mankind we may bless?
Who is the gang-punch, sorter true, directing all our acts?
Who tabulates and verifies statistics, figures, facts?
His quietness and modest ways -- absorbing things worthwhile,
You think his mind is far away -- when presently he smiles.
He speaks!! You learn what you should know from Wilson's wisdom file;
We know his power, we're glad he's ours. His pattern is our style.
Chorus
It's J. T. Wilson! Vice-President Wilson
The best Accounting Engineer --That's so!
Oh, J. T. Wilson! Our dear Joe Wilson!
We men of IBM know he's some beau.
___________________________
22. TO EDWARD E. FORD, VICE-PRESIDENT,
I. T. R. COMPANY
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!"
1. We're proud of our Vice President because 'tis Edward Ford
The brilliant son of Pioneer in our I. T. R. Board.
He's won his laurels in the field by years of service fine
For I. B. M.'s big line.
2. He's loved by all who know him; Edward Ford is real and true.
We're satisfied when he decides what's best for us to do.
He's fair and square in everything -- he is a guiding star
Of our glorious I. T. R.
Chorus
Edward Ford, we're glad to serve you
Edward Ford, we'll always help you
Edward Ford, we all adore you--
Our friend and Manager.
___________________________
23. TO L. H. LaMOTTE, SALES MANAGER, T. M. CO.
Tune: "Marching Through Georgia"
We are proud of you LaMotte, and your work with all our men.
None has matched your record yet in all T. M.
With your guidance in the field, more customers we'll win,
Oh yes! LaMotte, you're a wonder.
Chorus
LaMotte, LaMotte, our hats are off to you!
Our I. B. M. has rightly honoured you
You're an inspiration to our world-wide service crew
L. H. LaMotte, you're a wonder.
___________________________
24. TO SAMUEL M. TEMPLETON, VICE-PRESIDENT AND SALES MANAGER, DAYTON SCALE COMPANY
Tune: "Sweet Peggy O'Neil"
We adore him, he's our style,
Sam Templeton.
Working, smiling all the while,
Sam Templeton.
Best Sales Manager we ever knew;
Always helping the whole Dayton crew;
Sweet personality, fine Scale authority;
Sam Templeton.
___________________________
25. TO L. S. HARRISON, SALES MANAGER, I. T. R. CO.
Tune: "Oh, Mr. Dooley"
A live-wire in our I. T. R. is Larry Harrison,
His knowledge of Electric Time is marvellous -- then some.
His genius as Engineer and Salesman, truly great.
Our field forces admire him -- his deeds we emulate.
Chorus
Oh; Larry Harrison, Dear Larry Harrison,
Your "Hourly Supervision" makes us go.
Your inspiration and fine direction--
Will make our I. T. R. big business grow.
___________________________
26. TO DANIEL J. MOYNIHAN
VICE-PRESIDENT, DAYTON SCALE COMPANY
Tune: "A Little Bit of Heaven”
Have you ever heard the story—how Dan Moynihan got his name?
His blarney gets the money and brings Dayton Scale great fame.
No wonder that we’re proud of Dan, he’s loved by you and me;
For here’s the way that T. J. Watson told the tale to me.
SURE a brilliant Star from Ireland fell from out the sky one day,
And nestled in Old Boston in a house down near the Bay.
And when the angels found him, sure he looked so sweet and fair,
They said, we’ll tell Sam Hastings, connoisseur of salesmen rare.
SURE, Computing Scale of Dayton knew just what and how to do—
With Moneyweight and Moynihan, great profits must accrue,
Then they made Dan our Vice-President, because his record’s grand;
He is up to date, REAL MONEYWEIGHT—our DANIEL MOYNIHAN.
___________________________
27. TO G. F. MORRIS, VICE PRESIDENT, I. B. M. OF CANADA
Tune: "There Are Smiles”
Everyone joins in this chorus,
Everybody likes him too,
For we sing a song to George F. Morris,
And our stalwart Royal Canadian crew.
He’s Vice President of IBM in Canada,
Wonderful his knowledge of our line.
He’s an organizer and go-getter
That’s why Canada is doing so fine.
___________________________
28. TO JAMES C. MILNER, VICE PRESIDENT, IBM OF CANADA
Tune: "Sweet Rosie O’Grady”
Jim Mimer from Canada,
Most everyone knows.
He always beats quota
Wherever he goes.
Our Canadian Company’s Vice President
And sales force all fine.
Watch him! his men will be leaders—
In selling our I. B. M. line.
___________________________
29. TO CHARLES BRUCE, TREASURER,
I. T. R. CO. AND T. M. CO.
Tune: "There Are Smiles That Make Us Happy"
Charlie Bruce makes us all happy,
He’s our Treasurer, don’t you see!
And besides, he’s Prince of geniality.
Always hustling, serving you and me.
In the I. T. R. he keeps things going —
In T. M. the boys all love him, too.
Here’s to Charlie Bruce, our faithful Treasurer,
Loyal pal in I. B. M. crew.
___________________________
30. TO PIERRE BONTECOU, TREASURER, DAYTON SCALE CO.
Tune: "I Want a Girl"
Pierre Bontecou, we all like you.
You modest, dear old Pal,
Faithful and true; everything you do
Is straight and practical.
In our T. M. for years you made big sales;
Now you’re Treasurer of Dayton Scale —
We’re strong for you — Pierre Bontecou —
Of glorious I. B. M.
___________________________
31
TO C. D. LAKE, CHIEF ENGINEER, ENDICOTT
Tune: "Sweet Peggy O’Neil”
When you want things done just right,
Tell C. D. Lake,
Always working, day and night,
That’s C. D. Lake.
He invents new machines every day,
Speeding our factory production, his play;
Originality, fine personality,
That’s our C. D. Lake.
___________________________
32. TO JAMES W. BRYCE, DEVELOPMENT ENGINEER
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here, Boys?"
Who solves our problems? Of course 'tis Mr. Bryce,
This International wizard great, does everything so nice.
Our I. B. M. is proud of him, none can match our brilliant Jim.
Engineering genius! Sure, that's Mr. Bryce.
His sparkling eye, electrical, his mind so bright and keen.
Converting all modern ideas into perfect machines.
The wonderful accomplishments of this live imp in improvements.
Oh, Bryce! Jim Bryce! You've made our lives serene.
___________________________
33. TO J. ROYDEN PEIRCE, HEAD OF INVENTION
DEPT. NO. 1
Tune: "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"
His mind is a fine laboratory.
Our problems he solves with great ease,
Unmatched his creative ability,
All I. B. M. patrons to please.
This great Engineer and Inventor
Of marvellous Accounting Machines,
Is a real guarantee that forever
I. B. M.'s line shall be supreme.
Chorus
Patents! Patents! J. Royden Peirce has them by the score.
Inventions! Inventions! Each day he creates more and more.
___________________________
34. TO F. M. CARROLL, HEAD OF INVENTION DEPT. NO. 2,
I. B. M.
Tune: "Eastside, Westside"
F. M. Carroll, we're all proud of you,
Engineering genius and a great inventor, too.
You solve every problem with devices new
I. B. M. shall always lead with Carroll and his crew.
___________________________
35. TO E. A. FORD, HEAD OF INVENTION DEPT. NO. 3
Tune: "While We Were Marching Through Georgia"
I. I. B. M. leads all the world with wonderful machines.
Our great Corps of Engineers command the highest esteem.
Every problem wisely solved by these Inventors keen,
To meet the needs of all people.
2. E. A. Ford's new Horizontal Sorter pleases all.
Speedy, quiet, beautiful! It surely has the call.
Every demonstration brings in orders large and small;
To Mr.Ford we are grateful.
Chorus
Hurrah, hurrah, for E. A. Ford's machine.
His Sorter and our Printer -- marvellous team;
Everyone acknowledges our products are supreme;
I. B. M. gives World Service.
___________________________
36. TO EUGENE F. HARTLEY,
MANAGER BUSINESS SERVICE DEPT., I. B. M.
Tune: "Auld Lang Syne"
Our I. B. M. selects the best of men from every line.
Our products and our Service must be first-class all the time.
That's why Eugene F. Hartley Statistician fine,
With vision large and knowledge rare, is serving our big line.
He knows where business can be found, he charts all Industries;
He is an expert Census man on world-wide businesses.
He guides our efforts with sales-plans for all emergencies.
We're glad he's ours, with all his powers and great capacities.
___________________________
37. TO ARCH DAVIS, ADVERTISING MANAGER, I. B. M.
Tune: "There Are Smiles That Make Us Happy"
We are proud of our Arch Davis,
None can match him in his line,
With the advertising that he gives us,
We can see his work is truly fine.
All his thoughts are always on all branches,
Of our world-wide International tree,
His ideas promote the art of selling,
Through I. B. M.'s fine publicity.
___________________________
38. TO LESTER HARKNESS, DIRECTOR, I. B. M. BUDGET
Tune: "In the Good Old Summer"
In the good old I. B. M.
We have many sterling men,
Lester Harkness helps us all no matter when we call
He’s I. B. M.’s real Budget Man.
With service prompt to all.
He’s fair to everybody.
That’s why LES is loved by all.
___________________________
39. TO GLEN H. ARMSTRONG, ASS’T SALES MANAGER,
TABULATING MACHINE DIVISION
Tune: "Take me out to the ball-game"
In Pennsy and Ohio
He’s made good for T. M.
Our Glen H. Armstrong’s a crackerjack
He’s going up and will never come back.
Glen’s our Assistant Sales Manager— The best in our TM game:
Come! give one, two, three cheers for Glen
And our I. B. M.
___________________________
40. TO R. A. BUSH, ASSISTANT SALES MANAGER, I. T. R. CO.
Tune: "There Are Smiles"
Dick has always been a leader
As a salesman of our line.
ITR is proud of this good Manager,
Every year his record has been fine.
R. A. Bush a real field organizer,
He has trained a host of good salesmen.
That’s why ITR’s a real big factor —
In success of our IBM.
___________________________
41. TO WILLIAM MacLARDY, MANAGER, EXHIBIT AND
WINDOW DISPLAY DEPARTMENT, I. B. M.
Tune: "I Love a Lassie"
We all love MacLardy
Faithful Bill MacLardy
On the job every moment in the year.
He serves everybody
Throughout all of our country,
His smile is I. B. M.’s best cheer.
___________________________
42. TO E. W. OGRAM, SERVICE MANAGER
Tune: "Good old Summer Time"
1. In the good old I. B. M., in the good old I. B. M.,
Ogram’s fine accomplishments are known to all our men!
As head of our servicemen, he solved all problems again
That’s why he’s Service Manager of our big I. B. M.
___________________________
43. TO E. C. SCHROEDEL, EXECUTIVE SECRETARY
Tune: "Brighten the Corner Where You Are"
Two Seventy Broadway, there he shines
Executive Secretary, always fine..
Unexcelled his knowledge of I. B. M.’s lines
Service—that’s Schroedel all the time.
___________________________
44. TO G, J. REBSAMEN, ASSISTANT MANAGER, FOREIGN
DIVISION, I. B. M.
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here, Boys?"
He speaks "a dozen languages”, he’s Internationally known,
In Europe and the Americas he’s very much at home.
He’s Mr. Nichol’s righthand man, our genial Rebsamen,
Efficient, faithful worker for worldwide IBM.
___________________________
45. TO W. M. WILSON, HEAD OF PATENTS AND
RESEARCH DEPT.
Tune: "Rings On My Fingers"
Who’s Head of Patents and Research for great I. B. M.
Of course W. M. Wilson is that bright diadem
His knowledge and genius will meet every demand
For future business machines in every land.
___________________________
46. TO W. L. LEWIS, ASSISTANT TO THE PRODUCTION
SUPERINTENDENT
Tune: "What’s the Matter With Father?"
Here’s to W. L. Lewis, he’s all right:
Always rendering service day and night.
He works with our crack engineering crew,
And with I. B. M.’s factory forces, too.
Here’s to W. L. Lewis, he’s all right.
___________________________
47. TO E. C. KUSTERER, MANAGER, I. B. M. DISTRICT No. 6
Tune: "There Are Smiles"
He has always been a leader
As a salesman of our line
I. B. M.’s Pacific Coast Sales Manager,
E. C. Kusterer’s record very fine.
All his men with him co-operating,
More big orders they are sending in,
Western business constantly increasing,
E. C. Kusterer — we’re proud of him.
___________________________
48. TO ROY STEPHENS, DISTRICT MANAGER, T. M. DIVISION
Tune: "In the Good Old Summer Time"
Roy’s a leader all the time in our good old TM line,
In old New York and District One, his record truly fine.
That’s why he’s District Manager, advancing all the time,
Some day he may be President of the IBM’s big line.
___________________________
49. TO W. F. TITUS, DISTRICT MANAGER, T. M. DIVISION
Tune: "Yes! We Have No Bananas"
Yes! He’s TM’s live wire,
Dear Titus a hustler, that’s true
A fine demonstrator,
Real salesman, none greater;
Admired by our Tabulating crew.
He’s an IBM real leader— Now TM District Manager.
Oh, yes! We’re proud of dear Titus. —
And all of his salesmen true blue.
___________________________
50. TO CHAS. R. OGSBURY, DISTRICT MANAGER,
T. M. DIVISION
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"
We’re proud of Charlie Ogsbury, a live-wire in T. M.
Always a Hundred Percenter in our glorious I. B. M.
He’s a Tabulating expert, well beloved by all our men
In District Number Two.
Chorus
Charlie Ogsbury’s a leader,
We will follow him forever.
He’s an I. B. M. real builder—
In District Number Two.
___________________________
51. TO E. F. GEIGER, DIVISION MANAGER, I. T. R.
Tune: "The Bells of St. Mary’s"
Our Good friend Ed. Geiger is now Western Manager.
He’s loved by all salesmen in our I. T. R.
He solves all time problems for prospects and users
He’ll put our Western men over the top this year.
___________________________
52. TO R. 0. CARDWELL, DIVISION MANAGER, I. T. R.
Tune: "Good Old Summer Time"
In the good old I. T. R., we have a shining star;
R. 0. Caidwell’s record proud-always ‘way above par.
In the sunny south he’s training men to sell I. B. M. line
And sales in his Division fine are growing all the time.
___________________________
53. TO F. J. BOUCHER, DISTRICT MANAGER,
SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "Way Down Upon the Suwanee River"
1. Here’s to our able Dayton worker
Happy alway;
Outstanding I. B. M. Go-Getter,
Our old friend Fred Boucher.
2. He is an able organizer,
Trainer of men,
In Europe and in North America
He’s builded I. B. M.
Chorus
All of us are proud of Freddie
And his fine Scale men.
Their sales are growing strong and steady
For glorious I. B. M.
___________________________
54. TO M. D. TRESCOTT, DISTRICT MANAGER,
SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "Let Me Call You Sweetheart"
M. D. Trescott leads our Western Scale men fine.
His Chicago record matchless all the time.
He’s an organizer in I. B. M.’s line.
Every salesman loves him-Dayton calls him "Mine."
___________________________
55. TO C. W. GREEN, DISTRICT MANAGER, SCALE DIVISION
Chorus of: "Away Down South in Dixie"
Away down South in Dixie - C. W. Green,
Is training men for I. B. M.-
Their sales are growing steadily.
Hurray, hurray, Green’s work shows real quality.
Dayton is gay - we’re proud of grand old Dixie -
___________________________
56. TO E. J. OLDROYD, SUPERINTENDENT, ENDICOTT
FACTORY
Tune: "Since you were sweet sixteen"
In Endicott, he’s loved by all our men
Our Factory Superintendent - excellent
He well deserves the praise of I. B. M.
So, here’s to you, dear Oldroyd, and all your men
In glorious I. B. M.
___________________________
57. TO W. H. FRYER, SUPERINTENDENT, DAYTON WORKS
Tune: "I’ve Been Working on the Railroad"
Fryer makes our Dayton Products,
Everything so fine,
Scales and Coffee Mills, Meat Slicers,
Wonderful store line!
His good staff has solved our problems -
Meeting business needs with best machines.
We’re all proud of W. H. Fryer -
And Dayton line supreme.
___________________________
58. TO FRED W. MOESER,
WORKS MANAGER, TORONTO PLANT
Tune: "I’ve Been Working on the Railroad"
I. B. M. is proud of Moeser.
He makes our three lines.
Our Canadian plant and workers,
Product superfine.
All Fred Moeser’s men adore him,
Like him they all serve faithfully.
I. B. M.’s great cause promoting -
Internationally.
___________________________
59. TO JOSEPH BRAITMAYER,
SUPERINTENDENT, WASHINGTON, D. C., WORKS
Tune: "I’ve Been Working On the Railroad"
Tabulating Cards his product
Millions every day.
His organization perfect -
For delivery right away.
That’s why our T. M. is prosperous
Joe keeps us happy all the time.
He’s the live-wire in our Service;
Joe Braitmayer is fine.
___________________________
60. TO H. KLECKLER, MAINTENANCE ENGINEER,
ENDICOTT FACTORY
Tune: "The Bells of St. Mary’s"
Our Endicott Factory gives Kieckler the glory -
In every department his work has been fine.
Our products proclaim him a genius most worthy.-
In perfecting machines for IBM’s big line.
___________________________
61. TO HARRY S. EVANS, WASHINGTON MANAGER I. B. M.
By F. W. Nichol’
Tune: "Tipperary"
1. Harry Evans, you’re a wonder, You’re a man we adore;
When you lead us in joyful singing,
Then the whole world cries for more.
With your cheery disposition,
And happy, snappy style,
You’re a true friend, dear Harry Evans,
You make life worth while.
2. Washington knows you’re a winner, You have won great renown;
And when it comes to great big orders,
Uncle Sam ne’er turns you down.
You’re the life of every party,
And to us you bring great joy;
We’d go a long, long way to find your equal,
Our own "Honey Boy."
___________________________
62. TO A. C. HEWITT, PURCHASING AGENT, I. B. M. CORP.
Tune: "Oh, Mr. Dooley"
1. Now A. C. Hewitt has some job-he buys a million things
And every land beneath the sun, its product to him brings.
His office staff, well-organized to serve our factories
And everything he does just right for all our companies.
Chorus
Oh, A. C. Hewitt! How do you do it?
You keep our factories always on the go,
With best materials from world-wide markets
To make our International business grow.
___________________________
63. TO J. L. BARTON, HEAD OF THE EMPLOYMENT AND
FACTORY SERVRICE DEPTS.
Tune: "Sweet Rosie O’Grady"
Faithful J. L. Barton, so loyal and true
He and all his good workers - fine Endicott crew!
Guarantee our production; fill our orders on time.
That’s why we all are so happy in selling our IBM line.
___________________________
65. TO C. E. BREADEN, ENGINEER, SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "The Bells of St. Mary’s"
We’re all proud of Dayton and Engineer Breaden,
He’s ever enlarging I. B. M.’s good line
That’s why we’re excelling, our sales always growing
Merchants demand more Dayton products all the time.
___________________________
66. TO E. J. VON PEIN, ENGINEER. SCALE DIVISION Yale
Tune: "My Name Is Solomon Levi"
In research and engineering work we’re foremost all the time
Thanks to our staff of learned men, led by Edward J. Von Pein . -
His laboratory is our guarantee that I. B. M. shall ever be
In truest service to the business world - the leading company.
___________________________
67. THE I. B. M. FAMILY
Tune: "Yip-I-Addy-I-Aye"
1. We’re the men of The I. B. M. We’re all happy you see.
International Business Machines, that is what I. B. M. always
means.
Tabulating, ITR, Dayton and International Scales,
Our products are best; all mankind they have blest; I. B. M. men are we.
2. We’re co-workers in I. B. M.-all one big family.
We save materials, time, and men; increasing profits to all business when
Accurate figures and weights and time - our machines guarantee.
Oh, joy! Oh, what bliss! We are members of this I. B. M.
Company.
___________________________
68. THE I. B. M. SERVICE
Tune: "Over There"
1. I. B. M. Sing again. Give a cheer for our great I. B. M.
We make Time Recorders and Tabulators
All kinds of Scales for business men
I. B. M. Watson men? We’re the boys of world-known I. B. M.
We’re T. M. men and I. T. R. men,
And we’re Scale men of the good old I. B. M.
2. I. B. M. Happy men. Our machines benefit business men.
Yes, the world now knows us; all men adore us,
Because our products profit them.
I. B. M. Watson men! Scale Divisions, I. T. R. and T. M.
Oh, it’s glorious! We are victorious!
In the World-Wide Service of our I. B. M.
___________________________
69. I. B. M. ONE HUNDRED PER CENT. CLUB
Tune: "I’ve Been Working On the Railroad"
We’re the I. B. M. Go-Getters,
All the live-long-day.
We are all Hundred Percenters
And will strive to be alway.
We have learned from Mr. Watson,
Loyally we’ll serve him all the time;
And we’ll help all of our salesmen
To sell our whole big line.
___________________________
70. THE I. B. M. ONE HUNDRED PER CENT. CLUB
RALLY SONG
College Tune: "Round Her Neck She Wears a Yeller Ribbon"
1. We are The I. B. M. Hundred Percenters,
Our President, Mr. Watson, has brought us here today;
We’re proud to be his loyal, faithful followers,
Because he is the finest man in all the U. S. A.
Chorus
I. B. M. - I. B. M.-
Prize Winners gathered here to celebrate;
T. M.-and Scale-and I. T. R. fine products,
We sell to all good business men in every land and state.
2. We are the men who sell I. B. M. products -
Tabulators, Time Recorders, Dayton and Industrial Scales.
In every land and clime we are successful,
Because our International Service never fails.
Chorus (Repeat)
3. We’re proud to be all I. B. M. Star Salesmen,
The records prove conclusively - our Quotas we have made.
We all enjoy that grand and glorious feeling,
Expressed in Mr. Watson’s Smile-Oh, Boys! It’s truly great!
Chorus (Repeat)
4. We're going home to help our fellow-salesmen,
So every man will join us in this Winner’s Club this year,
And then we'll have a rousing celebration
With I. B. M.'s great President again right here
Chorus (Repeat - ad libitum)
___________________________
71. THE I. B. M. ONE HUNDRED PER CENT. CLUB
-Number Two-
Special Tune
1. 0-h! It’s great to belong to this best of Clubs
In our glorious I. B. M.
We’re all one hundred per cent. men in President Watson’s band
We sell International products in every clime and land.
0-h! It’s great to belong to this live-wire gang
In our world-famed I. B. M.
2. 0-h! We’ve all had a wonderful time this year
Selling the I. B. M.
We’ve won Mr. Watson’s prizes, that’s why we smile and cheer.
You see we’re very happy-we’ve won! That’s why we’re here.
0-h! It’s great to belong to this live-wire gang
In our glorious I. B. M.
___________________________
72. TO THE I. B. M. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CLUB
-Number Three-
Tune: "It’s a Long Way to Tipperary"
1. Our Star Salesmen-I. B. M. men
See their records so fine.
President Watson’s honor salesman,
They’re our matchless winning line.
They have blazed their trail with glory,
To the end of earthly time-
When Saint Peter hears their wondrous story -
Oh! Welcome Divine!
2. Make a big noise, for you are our boys,
I. B. M.’s proud of you.
T. J. Watson boys-you’re our real joys;
Our success to you is due.
Splendidly you’ve made your quotas,
For our world-famed four big lines;
T. M. - Scales - and I. T. R. victorious
By your records fine.
___________________________
73. OUR FOUR BIG LINES
Tune: "Mademoiselle from Armentieres"
1. What do we do for Business Men? Tabulate!
What do we do for Office Men? Tabulate!
The Railroad Man, Insurance man?
Our Uncle Sam and Every Man? We tell them all to tabulate!
2. What do we sell the Factory Man? 1. T. R.’s.
What do we sell the Office Man? I. T. R.’s.
The Wholesale Man, the Retail Man,
The Schools, the Banks, the Railroad Man?
We sell them all OUR I. T. R.’s.
3. What do we sell the Butcherman? Dayton Scales.
What do we sell the Grocerman? Dayton Scales.
The Candyman, the Hardwareman, the Factory and the Laundryman.
All are using Dayton Scales.
4. What do we sell the Factories? Industrial Scales.
What do we sell all Industries? Industrial Scales.
We sell them to all Governments, And service great establishments - Industrial Scales.
5. What do we sell the Industrial Men? I. B. M.
What do we sell the Wholesale Men? I. B. M.
The Schools, the Banks, and Retail Men?
All o’er the World we service them. We sell them all our I. B. M.!
Chorus
And we sell the bloomin’ lot
Whether it’s cold or whether it’s hot. I. B. M.
___________________________
74. OUR I. B. M. SALESMEN
Tune: "Jingle Bells"
1. I. B. M., Happy men, smiling all the way.
Oh what fun it is to sell our products night and day.
I. B. M., Watson men, partners of T. J.
In his service to mankind-that’s why we are so gay.
2. I. B. M., Watson men, International line:
Proud T. M. - Dayton Scale - and I. T. R. so fine
I. B. M. goods and men, leaders all the time.
Saving money, time and men, in every land and clime.
___________________________
75. THE I. B. M. WORKERS AND SERVICE
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here, Boys"
1. We’re all proud co-workers in glorious I. B. M.
It is the greatest Corporation serving business men.
We make machines most wonderful, performing business miracles,
All Nations use them and praise our I. B. M.
2. We tabulate statistics the new electric way.
Accounting tasks we do so fast, our customers all say
That our T. M. is saving them, materials, time, money and men.
Oh, boy! Oh, joy! I. B. M. Hurray!
3. We regulate the World’s time in true electric style.
Our I. T. R. Recorders are the best, both Card and Dial.
Half a million Industries in America and overseas
Glorify and testify that I. B. M.’s worth while.
4. The World’s progressive merchants now use I. B. M. Scales.
Our Slicers, Choppers, Coffee Mills, increase the dealers’ sales.
We’re profit-makers for mankind; in every line of trade you’ll find
I. B. M. machines and men. Our Service never fails.
___________________________
76. THE I. B. M. SLOGAN
Who are we? Who are we?
The International Family.
We are T. J. Watson men -
We represent the I. B. M.
Are we right? Well, I should smile!
We’ve been right for a very long while.
___________________________
77. THE I. B. M. FOREVER
Tune: "Hurrah for the Flag of the Free"
All hurrah for our great I. B. M.
We’ll serve every nation forever.
Our Scales, I. T. R., and T. M.
Blessing all humanity.
International Business Machines
Shall enoble all human endeavor -
Promoting world-wide honesty
With T. J. Watson’s International right standards.
___________________________
78. THE ANNIVERSARY SONG OF I. B. M.
Tune: "Marching through Georgia"
1. I. B. M. is marching on to world-wide victory
Born in 1888, and now full-grown, you see.
T. M., Scales, and I. T. R.-one fine big family
The I. B. M. Corporation.
2. Forty years we’ve served mankind with marvelous machines,
In every modern business place our products are supreme.
Man-power, time, and money saved for commerce kings and queens-thru
The I. B. M. Corporation.
3. International is our name and it well befits our line,
Serving in all nations-we’re known in every clime.
Just watch us grow from year to year until the end of time,
Our I. B. M. Corporation.
Chorus
Hurrah! Hurrah! for glorious I. B. M.
Hurrah! Hurrah! we’re T. J. Watson men.
Fortieth Anniversary of great accomplishment
By I. B. M. Corporation.
___________________________
79. WE ARE THE I. B. M.
Tune: "Iowa-That’s Where the Tall Corn Grows"
We’re the I. B. M. - I. B. M.
T. J. Watson men
International men
We’re the I. B. M. - I. B. M.
Serving the whole wide world.
___________________________
80. TO OUR I. B. M. BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"
1. Our I. B. M. Directors are all great commercial men;
They’re U. S. A.’s financial kings of learned acumen.
They give us their experience and untiring efforts when
They’re serving the I. B. M.
2. Their wisdom in directing this world service Company
Is yielding benefits to all and our prosperity.
Our I. B. M. promotes good-will and sterling honesty
For all Humanity.
Chorus
Here’s to I. B. M.’s Directors,
And our many fine Stockholders.
International Peace Promoters,
Now known as I. B. M.
___________________________
81. OUR FACTORIES AND PRODUCTS
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah !"
1. Manned by loyal workers are the Plants of I. B. M.
All equipment up-to-date, and managed by big men.
Endicott and Dayton works, Toronto, Washington,
France, England, Germany.
2. Overseas we also make our marvelous machines,
Round the globe in every land, our Service is supreme.
I. B. M.’s fine products are the joy of Kings and Queens
We serve Humanity.
Chorus
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah!
All the Nations are our users.
Every business man a Booster
Of I. B. M. machines.
___________________________
82. TO THE FAITHFUL WORKERS IN OUR FACTORIES
Tune: "Till We Meet Again"
We salesmen are glad to be with you,
You have made our product good and true.
Our success is guaranteed- Because your work is fine indeed -
None can match the men of I. B. M.,
Product made by honest, faithful men,
All the world gives praise to you,
Loyal workers true.
___________________________
83. THE FOREMEN IN I. B. M. FACTORIES
Tune: "Tramp, the Boys Are Marching"
1. Foremen of our I. B. M., none can match these able men;
In our factories they’re producers all the time.
Our success depends on them and their faithful fine workmen;
They build quality in I. B. M.’s big line.
2. All our Foremen, splendid crew, fine Executives, true blue,
By our President are rightly recognized.
He selects good men and true for the great work we must do,
In the noble cause of I. B. M. world-wide.
Chorus
Here’s to you, our Factory Foremen,
Builders of our four great lines.
Promptly meeting each demand of our trade in every land,
With our I. B. M. fine products all the time.
___________________________
84. ENDICOTT FACTORIES AND WORKERS
Tune: "Carry Me Back to Old Virginny"
Gladly we meet at our fine Factories
Where Scales and Time Clocks and our T. M. lines are made;
Today we see how most careful attention
To every detail of producing them is paid.
Vain would we spend weary hours with our prospects;
Vain would our best selling talks and efforts be -.
Did not the product fulfill most completely
All the requirements of our contract’s Guarantee.
Chorus
Gladly we meet here in our Factories -
Home of our Clocks and Scales, T. M. lines as well;
Grasp by the hand all our men who so grandly
Keep up the standard of the products which we sell.
___________________________
85. DAYTON FACTORIES AND WORKERS
Tune: "That’s Why I Need You"
We are proud of Dayton factories,
And our foremen faithful, true;
All our workers strong and steady-
Our Dayton loyal crew.
Yes, you make the finest product,
Everybody knows it, too;
To I. B. M. great fame you’ve brought.
That’s why we need you!
___________________________
86. CANADIAN I. B. M. ORGANIZATION
Tune: "The Maple Leaf Forever"
You’ve earned your wreath of Maple Leaf!
Men of Canada you are game!
You’ve shown us all what you can do,
And won a glorious name.
From Vancouver to Nova Sco’!
With real vim, push and vigor,
We’re proud of our Canadian beaux.
In I. B. M. forever.
Chorus
The Maple Leaf your emblem dear,
With Stars and Stripes together;
God bless you kingly gentlemen,
In I. B. M. forever.
___________________________
87. OVERSEA I. B. M. ORGANIZATIONS
Tune: "Why Don’t You Sing ‘Too-ra-lee, Too-ra-lee-ay"
1. Our I. B. M. products are used in all lands.
Each year brings increasing International demands.
Our Overseas Salesmen are making big sales
Of Tabulators, Time Systems, Dayton and Industrial Scales.
2. In Europe we own several big companies,
With excellent sales-forces, fine factories;
And Latin-America is well organized,
With I. B. M. Service, they’re all satisfied.
Chorus
Too-ra-lee! Tooralee! Too-ra-lay! Tooralay!
With I. B. M. Service, they’re all satisfied.
___________________________
88. TO OUR IBM HOME OFFICE STAFF
270 Broadway, New York
Tune: "Polly Wolly Doodle"
In Old New York, at 270 Broadway,
They’re working night and day.
Our I. B. M. fine girls and men-
All tasks to them, mere play.
Our President Watson’s loyal band,
Well-serving our Four Lines.
All faithful workers, heart and hand,
Two hundred brilliant minds.
Chorus
IBM IBM IBM’s Home Office Staff.
Tabulating, Time Recording, and our Scales, they’re all promoting -
Our I. B. M. Home Office Staff.
___________________________
89. TO OUR I. B. M. GIRLS
Tune: "They’re Style All the While"
The office girls surely are always in style,
They greet you with smiles, their welcome’s worth while.
The best in the world are our girls, rank and file,
They’re style all the while - all the while.
They’ve made our I. B. M. complete and worth while,
They work and they smile-so sweetly they smile;
Tall, short, thin and stout girls-they win by a mile -
With heavenly styles all the while.
___________________________
90. OUR SALESMEN
Tune: "Oh! How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning"
Oh! how I love to get up in the morning,
Oh! how I love to get out and work;
But the thing I can’t make out
Is to hear a prospect shout:
"You gotta come back, you gotta come back,
You gotta come back tomorrow."
Some day I’m going to get that order,
I know they need I. B. M. Machines,
But that doesn’t help my quota, so
Next day I’ll put it over,
That’s why I love to get out and work.
(Continued on next page)
___________________________
91. TO THE I. B. M. QUARTER CENTURY CLUB
Yale Tune: "Solomon Levi"
1. We hail The Quarter Century Club of our good I. B. M.
Whose members are all pioneers -- all honour be to them.
They've served our cause continuously for twenty-five full years.
They've made I. B. M. what it is -- to them we give our cheers.
2. Their loyalty and faithfulness command our high regards
Mr. Watson, our fine President, has blessed them with rewards.
In due time we will join this Club of I. B. M.'s elite,
Then, we'll enjoy true happiness -- our lives will be complete.
Chorus
Happy Quarter Century Club, pride of I. B. M.
Faithful men of Scale forces, I. T. R. and T. M.
We'll join you all as soon as we can; then, happy we will be,
With you in Quarter Century Club -- best I. B. M. Family.
___________________________
92. WHY THEY CALL US I. B. M.
Tune: "A Little Bit of Heaven"
Have you ever heard the story -- how the I. B. M. was named?
I'll tell you so you'll understand from whence this Big Four came.
No wonder we are proud of this successful Company,
For here's the way Old Father Time revealed the tale to me.
Samuel Hastings came from Dayton with Computing Scale one day Met
Geo. Fairchild and financiers of old Wall Street and Broadway,
They owned the Hollerith Tabulating Systems -- wondrous line
And International modern methods of recording time.
Sure, immediately they recognised that Moneyweight meant "dough,"
With Hollerith and Bundy -- this triumvirate would go.
Then they found a genius, Watson, greatest leader of all men;
Now this great and prosperous Company is known as I. B. M.
___________________________
93. I. B. M. WORKERS
Tune: "Oh, Boy! Oh, Joy! Where Do We Go From Here?"
Oh, boy! Oh, joy! Where do we go from here?
Back to our home town to work
Without a bit of fear.
We've got the pep, so you can bet
On us this coming year.
Oh, boy! Oh, joy,! Where do we go from here?
___________________________
94. OUR PRESIDENT'S MOTTO: "THINK"
Tune: "Yankee Doodle"
1. T-H-I-N-K spells THINK --
Our President Watson's motto.
It saves mistakes, lost time and ink.
You'll then do what you ought to.
2. T-H-I-N-K is THINKI
'Tis good for brain and body,
Then dark blue visions change to pink.
And you'll please everybody.
Chorus
T-H-I-N-K that's THINK --
Get ideas big and wholesome;
And you'll not be the missing link,
You'll learn from Mr. Watson.
___________________________
95. INTERNATIONAL ELECTRIC ACCOUNTING MACHINES
Tune: "Where Do We Go From Here, Boys?"
1. Up-to-date Accounting is done the Electric way.
With I. B. M. machines all drudgery is done away.
In America and Overseas we serve all kinds of businesses,
A thousand leading industries now testify, "It pays."
2. We punch the cards and sort them by our electric machines,
Which then compute and print results so marvellous it seems!
This International System saves you time and money every day,
Investigate and verify the truth of all we say.
3. We tabulate the Census for our good Uncle Sam,
Many Government Bureaux now are served by I. B. M.
Correct results and utmost speed by our machines are guaranteed.
All users say so they praise the I. B. M.
___________________________
96. I. B. M. TABULATING MACHINES
Tune: "Till We Meet Again"
Punch a card for every sale that's made.
There's a record which will never fade.
Sort them out by man and state!
Speedily we tabulate.
All such tasks we accurately do--
Payrolls, costs, and inventories true.
Thousands use and praise them too
[. B. M. machines.
___________________________
97. OUR TABULATING SALES AND SERVICE MEN
Tune: "Tipperary"
Facts and figures, all statistics
We correctly compile.
Rapid system - yes, electric -
The most modern business style.
Tabulating Sales and Service,
Marvelous the work we do.
We put live-wire brains in every business
With T. M. machines and crew.
___________________________
98. USE INTERNATIONAL TIME RECORDERS
By F. W. Nichol
Tune: "It’s a Long Way to Tipperary"
1. It’s a wrong way to use a long way,
There’s but one way we know,
Oh, you bosses, check your losses,
If your business is to grow.
Good-bye to "antique" systems,
Time clocks lessen care;
Put The Internationals in your business,
They treat all men square.
2. It’s a wrong way to pull a brass check,
It’s a long way, you know;
To write the name down in some old pass book
Is also very slow.
Our International Time Recorder
Is the best way that we know.
And we never fail to sell "live wires."
Wherever we go.
___________________________
99. INTERNATIONAL TIME RECORDERS
Tune: "There Are Smiles That Make Us Happy"
1. There are clocks with chimes and music
Clocks where cuckoo shows its head;
Also clocks that wake you in the morning,
When you much prefer to stay in bed;
But the clocks which solve the payroll problems -
Give employers all the time they buy,
Are our International fine products -
Which we’re all here to advertise.
2. Card and Dial and Job-Recorders,
Autograph and Time-Stamps, too;
They are all real time-saving devices,
Doing better work than humans do.
In red ink they show all tardy records,
Printing all the early ones in blue;
Thus eliminating labor disputes -
And increasing production, too.
___________________________
100. OUR TIME RECORDER DIVISION
Tune: "In My Harem"
By F. W. Nichol
Oh, this business-this business?
This Time Recorder business;
There never was a minute
That another one was in it.
Sales for breakfast, sales for dinner,
Sales for supper-time.
Orders, orders, orders, for machines that record time.
Oh, this business, this business
You’re big-we’ll make you bigger.
And the things we do
Will surely make of you -
The finest business in all the land.
___________________________
101. DAYTON SCALES
Tune: "Yankee Doodle"
Moneyweight Computing Scales,
All made right in Dayton,
Correctly weigh and value sales
And satisfy all nations.
Chorus
Dayton Scales are always right,
Save your goods and money;
Never heavy nor too light
They value just exactly.
___________________________
102. TO THE INTERNATIONAL SCALE DIVISION
Tune: "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah"
1. The products of our I. B. M., are always in the lead.
They're welcomed by all business men, they meet their greatest needs.
Our latest line -- Industrial Scales -- world markets gladly greet,
And make our joy complete.
2. Industrial Scales in many styles, of light and heavy type;
We make for shops and factories, each unit always right.
Approved by leading Engineers -- all users they delight --
That's why we know they're right.
Chorus
All hail! Industrial Scale Division!
Of I. B. M.'s great organisation!
Here's to our Industrial Scale Division.
In I. B. M.'s big line.
___________________________
103. TO OUR I. B. M. ENGINEERS
Tune: "Mademoiselle from Armentieres"
We're proud of all our Engineers in I. B. M.
No problem is insolvable to these great men.
Their mastery of the technical -- mechanical -- electrical --
Behold in their accomplishments.
Each year they perfect new machines for I. B. M.
Superior products all the time for business men.
We thank and praise our Engineers,
The whole wide world unites in cheers,
To the Engineers of I. B. M.
___________________________
104. WE'RE HUNDRED PERCENTERS
Tune: "Heigh Ho! Everybody"
(Composed by V. O. Sturtevant and J. P. Saxton-- Endicott Factory)
We're Hundred Percenters!
We can't be lamenters!
HEIGH HO! Mr. Watson, HEIGH HO!
Up early each morning,
When daylight is dawning
And out after orders we go!
Our business grows in every land
We'll let the whole world know!
We're proud to be in Watson's band
Of quota busters -- SO!
There's no time for grumbling
When records we're tumbling,
We're Hundred Percenters! HEIGH HO!
___________________________
105. SELLING IBM
Tune: "Singing in the Rain"
(By J. P. Saxton, Endicott Factory)
Selling I. B. M., we're selling I. B. M.,
What a glorious feeling, the world is our friend,
We're Watson's great crew, we're loyal and true;
We're proud of our job and we never feel blue.
We sell our whole line, we're there every time,
To chase away gloom with our products so fine,
We're always in trim, we work with a vim,
We're selling, just selling, I. B. M.
___________________________
106. PAINTING THE CLOUDS WITH SUNSHINE
Tune: "Painting the Clouds With Sunshine"
(By J. P. Saxton, Endicott Factory)
We don’t pretend we’re gay,
We always feel that way,
Because we’re filling the world with sunshine.
With I. B. M. machines,
We’ve got the finest means,
For brightly painting the clouds
Records we make, only to break,
Teaching the whole world to know
I. B. M.’s line, will all the time,
Help it to grow.
When things do not look bright,
Our products make them right,
And keep on painting the clouds with sunshine.
codywilson
codywilson
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Lessons
Lessons
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cool text spam
LaserJew
LaserJew
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reminder that you're a terrible speller.
dipshit420
dipshit420
political car tune
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Lessons posted:cool text spam
don't sign your posts
Meursault
Meursault
Post rating:
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swirlsofhistory posted:Nick Bostrum posted:This paper argues that at least one of the following propositions is true: (1) the human species is very likely to go extinct before reaching a “posthuman” stage; (2) any posthuman civilization is extremely unlikely to run a significant number of simulations of their evolutionary history (or variations thereof); (3) we are almost certainly living in a computer simulation. It follows that the belief that there is a significant chance that we will one day become posthumans who run ancestor-simulations is false, unless we are currently living in a simulation. A number of other consequences of this result are also discussed.
This was published in the year 2003 in The Philosophical Quarterly, one of the world's top philosophy journals.
That was a sick essay
babyfinland
babyfinland
tardy on these heaters
Post rating:
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I am in favour of the idea that in peace-time the wage gap between cadres in the army and those outside it should be gradually narrowed, but this does not mean absolute egalitarianism. I have always been of the opinion that the army should live plainly and work hard and be a model. At a meeting held here in 1949, one of our generals proposed that the pay in the army should be raised, and many comrades were for his proposal, but I was against it. The illustration he used was that a capitalist ate a meal of five courses whereas a PLA soldier had only salt water plus some pickled cabbage at a meal, and this, he said, wouldn't do. I said, on the contrary, this was just fine. They had five courses while we ate pickles. There was politics in these pickles, out of which models would emerge. The PLA won people's hearts precisely because of these pickles, but, of course, there were other factors too. Now the army meals have improved and are already rather different from having only pickles to eat. But what is most essential is that we must advocate plain living and hard work, which is our intrinsic political quality. Chinchow is an apple-growing area. At the time of the Liaohsi campaign, it was autumn, and there were plenty of apples in the villagers' homes, but our fighters did not take a single apple. I was deeply moved when I read about this. Here the fighters themselves were conscious that not to eat the apples was noble, whereas to eat them would have been ignoble, for the apples belonged to the people. Our discipline rests on such consciousness. It is the result of leadership and education by our Party. Man must have some spirit, and the revolutionary spirit of the proletariat stems from this consciousness. Did anyone starve to death from not eating an apple? No, for there was millet plus pickles. In times of necessity, you comrades present here will have to live in sheds. When we crossed the marshlands, we had no sheds to sleep in and yet we managed without. Why can't we live in sheds now that we have them? The army people have been in session these few days, and they have expressed with deep feelings and enthusiasm their readiness to exercise self-denial and practice economy. Now that the army is doing this, there is all the more reason for other people to live plainly and work hard. Otherwise they would be challenged by the army people. There are both civilians and army people present here, so we'll let the army people challenge the civilians. The PLA is a good army, and I like it very much.
wasted
wasted
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Engels on complex numbers and why they're wrong because it's not part of the science of dialectical materialism:
When one has once become accustomed to ascribe to the -1 or to the fourth dimension some kind of reality outside of our own heads, it is not a matter of much importance if one goes a step further and also accepts the spirit world of the mediums.
When one has once become accustomed to ascribe to the -1 or to the fourth dimension some kind of reality outside of our own heads, it is not a matter of much importance if one goes a step further and also accepts the spirit world of the mediums.
cars
cars
UNUSUALY COOL
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wasted posted:Engels on complex numbers and why they're wrong because it's not part of the science of dialectical materialism:
When one has once become accustomed to ascribe to the -1 or to the fourth dimension some kind of reality outside of our own heads, it is not a matter of much importance if one goes a step further and also accepts the spirit world of the mediums.
that seems well in line with one side of current philosophical arguments among mathematicians over the being of numbers v
v
wasted
wasted
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history is truly on our side
cemetery
cemetery
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Edited by cemetery ()
Lykourgos
Lykourgos
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post the entire body of communist texts, close thread.
does the ownage sting?
does the ownage sting?
[account deactivated]
dipshit420
dipshit420
political car tune
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lol tpaine downvotes
swampman
swampman
Dont Mess With Sucess
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cemetery posted:
damn
swampman
swampman
Dont Mess With Sucess
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codywilson
codywilson
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Neither look was attractive. It was sad. Somehow I think the dog knew.
bougie poodle class consciousness is stirring.