#321
Post rating: ~
bf, what i mean specifically is you said i only employ one character, that being myself, and then you said that the other characters except for milos are cardboard cutouts. so excuse me if i don't quite catch your meaning
#322
tardy on these heaters
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deadken posted:
leaner. meaner. colder. excise every conjunction.writing as icy fury.



well most of it is things like what i reccomended to you: stuff you produce for yourself that is unnecesary for the reader. a lot of time excising things like that is like a gift to the reader since there is this implied depth but its totally the reader's rather than the author's, if you get what i mean

#323
penitent
Post rating: ~
i tend to give up on a project before it makes it past first draft but i actually sometimes get a perverse pleasure in cutting the shit out of my bloated writing, freeing my sentences from the sagging strain of so many words, leaving something hard and cold and devastating
#324
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

Impper posted:
bf, what i mean specifically is you said i only employ one character, that being myself, and then you said that the other characters except for milos are cardboard cutouts. so excuse me if i don't quite catch your meaning



everybody writes themselves into a flat world of mirrors and cardboard cutouts. its normal, but its something you have to get over if youre gonna write anything worth reading. perhaps milos is not you, who cares, thats not the point. that would be really weird but whatever. the point no one else is represented in that excerpt as having any drives or motivations or anything. emily pretty much just nods as milos drives and yammers on. if you want to pretend you did that on purpose fine, but youre wasting the reader's time. emily should be engaging milos. why are you hitting your reader in the face with milos's diarrhea. why is emily sitting there. whats going on.

this is criticism from the perspective of fiction-writing. if you want to tell me none of that matters and what matters is the content of milos's speech then well you've proved my point: write an essay

#325
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

deadken posted:
i tend to give up on a project before it makes it past first draft but i actually sometimes get a perverse pleasure in cutting the shit out of my bloated writing, freeing my sentences from the sagging strain of so many words, leaving something hard and cold and devastating



yes.. yes... feel the Muse flow through you

#326
Post rating: ~

babyfinland posted:
Impper posted:
bf, what i mean specifically is you said i only employ one character, that being myself, and then you said that the other characters except for milos are cardboard cutouts. so excuse me if i don't quite catch your meaning


everybody writes themselves into a flat world of mirrors and cardboard cutouts. its normal, but its something you have to get over if youre gonna write anything worth reading. perhaps milos is not you, who cares, thats not the point. that would be really weird but whatever. the point no one else is represented in that excerpt as having any drives or motivations or anything. emily pretty much just nods as milos drives and yammers on. if you want to pretend you did that on purpose fine, but youre wasting the reader's time. emily should be engaging milos. why are you hitting your reader in the face with milos's diarrhea. why is emily sitting there. whats going on.

this is criticism from the perspective of fiction-writing. if you want to tell me none of that matters and what matters is the content of milos's speech then well you've proved my point: write an essay

certum est quia impossibile



uh well there are three characters in that scene, the narrator, milos, and emily

#327
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

Impper posted:

babyfinland posted:
Impper posted:
bf, what i mean specifically is you said i only employ one character, that being myself, and then you said that the other characters except for milos are cardboard cutouts. so excuse me if i don't quite catch your meaning


everybody writes themselves into a flat world of mirrors and cardboard cutouts. its normal, but its something you have to get over if youre gonna write anything worth reading. perhaps milos is not you, who cares, thats not the point. that would be really weird but whatever. the point no one else is represented in that excerpt as having any drives or motivations or anything. emily pretty much just nods as milos drives and yammers on. if you want to pretend you did that on purpose fine, but youre wasting the reader's time. emily should be engaging milos. why are you hitting your reader in the face with milos's diarrhea. why is emily sitting there. whats going on.

this is criticism from the perspective of fiction-writing. if you want to tell me none of that matters and what matters is the content of milos's speech then well you've proved my point: write an essay

certum est quia impossibile

uh well there are three characters in that scene, the narrator, milos, and emily



why doesnt emily do anything in the scene. why is she even there

#328
Post rating: ~
because she is dazed and not thinking clearly, normally her character is strong-willed far beyond the narrator. the narrator is taking the chance to bully her. (stop editing your posts)
#329
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
it read to me like two nerds having an argue and a girl going giggle fart along with them for no apparent reason. if the point of the scene is the narrator taking the chance to bully her that should be front and center. all the references and stuff make it a big mush and the relations between the characters get lost
#330
Post rating: ~
Chug A Lug--Chug A Lug
Hear Me Hollar Hi Dee Ho

he was propped in the crutch of an oak tree-looking down-singing "there's a man going round taking names" indeed-i nod howdy-he nods howdy back "well he took my mother's name-lef' me there in pain" i, who am holding a glass of sand in one hand & a calf's head in the other-i look up & say "are you hungry?" & he say "there's a man going round taking names" & i say "good nuff" & keep walking-his voice rings thru the valley-it sounds like a telephone-it is very disturbing-"you need anything up there?"-i'm going to town" he shakes his head "well he took my sister's name & i aint never been the same" "right-o" i say-tie my shoelace & keep walking-then i turn & say "if you need any help getting down, just you come to town & tell me" he doesn't even hear-"well he took my uncle's name & you know he wasnt to blame" "groovy" i say & continue my way to town . . . it couldnt've been more'n a few hours later when i happened to be passing by again-in the spot where the tree was, a lightbulb factory now stood-"did there used to be a guy here in a tree?" i yelled up to one of the windows-"are you looking for work?" was the reply . . it was then when i decided that marxism did not have all the answers


why are you so frightened of
being embarrassed? you spend a lot of
time on the toilet dont you? why
don't you admit it? why are you so
embarrassed to be frightened?
your uncle
Matilda
#331
Post rating: ~
they're not having an argue though . . . and i just went back and looked at it and i made two explicit references to bullying her? how much more front and center do you want it
#332
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
bob dylan sucks
#333
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

Impper posted:
they're not having an argue though . . . and i just went back and looked at it and i made two explicit references to bullying her? how much more front and center do you want it



if you write a scene, it should have a purpose. every word and element you use to create the scene should serve that purpose.

#334
Post rating: ~
i really like bob dylan, but you're probably right. i always like the wrong things.
#335
tardy on these heaters
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i like that song about the boxer though
#336
Post rating: ~
only a fan would make such a joke.. i think you might actually like him after all!
#337
Post rating: ~
i just realized you were probably talking about dylan's song "hurricane" and not his universally panned cover of simon and garfunkel's "the boxer"

but yeah thats a great song. bob dylan is really great.
#338
penitent
Post rating: ~

babyfinland posted:

Impper posted:
they're not having an argue though . . . and i just went back and looked at it and i made two explicit references to bullying her? how much more front and center do you want it

if you write a scene, it should have a purpose. every word and element you use to create the scene should serve that purpose.



if u read a scene from a longer work without context you might not have a full & complete understanding of it tho?

#339
penitent
Post rating: ~
bob dylan is a jewish supremacist and kach ally, fuck that dude
#340
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

deadken posted:

babyfinland posted:

Impper posted:
they're not having an argue though . . . and i just went back and looked at it and i made two explicit references to bullying her? how much more front and center do you want it

if you write a scene, it should have a purpose. every word and element you use to create the scene should serve that purpose.

if u read a scene from a longer work without context you might not have a full & complete understanding of it tho?



yes thats true but im also not going to coddle impper and give him the benefit of the doubt on something he's posted for criticism and also given the way he's responded to my comments that's pretty clearly not the issue

#341
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
i feel like i should post something here now but that means i need to write something which means i need to have something to write about
#342
Post rating: ~
write about what it feels like to be a sociopath
#343
Post rating: ~

babyfinland posted:
deadken posted:
babyfinland posted:
Impper posted:
they're not having an argue though . . . and i just went back and looked at it and i made two explicit references to bullying her? how much more front and center do you want it
if you write a scene, it should have a purpose. every word and element you use to create the scene should serve that purpose.
if u read a scene from a longer work without context you might not have a full & complete understanding of it tho?


yes thats true but im also not going to coddle impper and give him the benefit of the doubt on something he's posted for criticism and also given the way he's responded to my comments that's pretty clearly not the issue

certum est quia impossibile


imo everything in that scene serves a purpose. i can deal with hostile criticism but you were legitimately confusing me with just about everything you said, and like maybe it's my fault but you seemed to have thought there were only 2 characters in the scene until like the last comment you made

#344
Post rating: ~
impper! you are an awful writer! you can't write for shit! you're legit terrible! no, really!
#345
Post rating: ~
Yo "bf" if that really is your real name, there are three characters in that story, and you are complaining about the Narrator, which we've been talking about killing off and replacing with Milo. dont let that stop your criticisms, lol
#346
Post rating: ~

sosie posted:
impper! you are an awful writer! you can't write for shit! you're legit terrible! no, really!


thank u

#347
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i'm not joking, you would be better off lying on top of cold people
#348
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feminists would be much nicer to lacan if they realized His whole point was tha women are idiots becaus they believe in Men

the dumb "dialectic" between men and women, in my Opinion, needs to die right now, in our live times, through some final, epohcal display of LOVE

just this obscene display of love... the only way to do it is to have it be either we get to be together or this african children are exploded, and they choose togehter

we have to stop with the guilt and start killing people Other than ourselves
#349
Post rating: ~
that's a really greast pastime. kool
#350
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tell me the truth, is there any way to seperate the idea of being a writer from the idea of being a celebrity?
#351
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ooh, hopefully he killed imself
#352
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i don't think so, though people like those italians wu ming try to do it
#353
Post rating: ~
are you going to be any use to me right now or not, are you just a common bitch?
#354
Post rating: ~
are you on drugs? will you give me some?
#355
tardy on these heaters
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I feel like part of the vanishing breed that thinks a writer should be read and not heard, let alone seen. I think this is because there seems so often today to be a tendency to put the person in the place of his or her work, to turn the creative artist into a performing one, to find what a writer says about writing somehow more valid, or more real, than the writing itself.
#356
Post rating: ~
babyfinland: read joan copjecs book.... i can't remeber the name of her first one. but it's incredible. especially, toward the end, she takes apart whats her face ... judith butler.

once fucking asshole somebody whos name i will rememebr soon while i type this his name is get fiscal typed up some dumb thing and i responded by saying something like "think more about criticism than imagining yourself as inventing a whole new world - we are not, after all, writers for Alladin."

the point is that you really need to get a grip on girls' lacanian film criticism, girls who are men enough to put Kant in his place...
#357
Post rating: ~
read my desire by joan copjec
#358
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
ok
#359
Post rating: ~

sosie posted:
babyfinland: read joan copjecs book.... i can't remeber the name of her first one. but it's incredible. especially, toward the end, she takes apart whats her face ... judith butler.

once fucking asshole somebody whos name i will rememebr soon while i type this his name is get fiscal typed up some dumb thing and i responded by saying something like "think more about criticism than imagining yourself as inventing a whole new world - we are not, after all, writers for Alladin."

the point is that you really need to get a grip on girls' lacanian film criticism, girls who are men enough to put Kant in his place...

i really enjoyed her article in Lacan: the silent partners and also fuck you

#360
Post rating: ~
Are YOU the asshole that FORCED us to read that god waful book? you know that book -

look, im not mad. but what the hell, you said nothing but "read this book" for ages, like ti was the fucking new testament

really copjecs and some others I CANT EVEN FUCKING REMEBER

it WASNT all that, theres tons better books, why did you hype that book like it was the fucking second coming you spychopath

byt joan copjec Knows what she's talking about
read her fucking books