#41
#42
i'm rarely angry or sad too, but it strikes hard and fast. then next day i might be fine
#43

aerdil posted:

all that is ephemeral and shallow, entirely predicated on and the direct cause of the fact that the majority of the world has it much worse; and you're going to die someday, most likely in excruciating pain

those are abstract concerns at the very best. save the pain for when the cancer hits, or whatever

#44

aerdil posted:

all that is ephemeral and shallow



It really isn't. If you're a marxist you understand the influence of environmental factors and my environmental factors are pretty good

entirely predicated on and the direct cause of the fact that the majority of the world has it much worse



To some extent economically yeah, but African aren't dying because I enjoy the dazzling autumn sunlight reflecting off the harbour and eucalypts.

and you're going to die someday, most likely in excruciating pain



i really, honestly, cannot bring myself to care about this at all

#45
eh, i don't feel the daily alienation of capitalist society is really all that abstract, you just have to think concretely about what the daily interactions with most of the people around you actually mean
#46
and yet those concrete thoughts are dispelled by the flash of a smile, a hug, a kiss
#47
i love being in the sun, drunk and in love
#48
I have a psychological cycle where I must reach the depths of laziness and self-loathing before my determination kicks in and I get strict with myself. After a period of prosperous and serious activity, I revel in the idyllic aura of well-earned success; this is certainly the best part of the cycle. This celebratory relaxation results in my standards gradually decreasing until I once again fall into idle melancholy. These phases repeat indefinitely.

I have found the best way to shorten the period of depression is to hasten and maximize it; for instance, I will go to the store and purchase frozen mac & cheese. I will drink every day for a week straight. I will neglect the laundry and tidiness of my room. I will spend the entire weekend in bed. Only then can I break free, look upon myself with complete disgust, and regain inspiration. All of my disciplinarian activity is a direct result of reaching bottom in a controlled and repetitive manner such that I feel the motivation to improve once again. I trick myself into a continuous revival of spirit.
#49
i'm quietly disgusted by people who don't know how to cook
#50

aerdil posted:

eh, i don't feel the daily alienation of capitalist society is really all that abstract, you just have to think concretely about what the daily interactions with most of the people around you actually mean



Yeah work sucks, the media is dumb, girls are complicated, friends can be fickle and life is hard. I just don't see this as being a "capitalist" problem

Impper posted:

and yet those concrete thoughts are dispelled by the flash of a smile, a hug, a kiss



or even a joke or a laugh or a walk through the park

#51

Impper posted:

and yet those concrete thoughts are dispelled by the flash of a smile, a hug, a kiss


I have a memento mori image burned into my retinas

#52
i'm actually a black convert to mormonism
#53
I have no real grounding, I've read parts of capital once and only passages of the grundrisse, I gave up on ancient philosophy, I skip around, I dont follow through on things, like this article on the mormon left I was going to write, or another article on workplace safety during the cultural revolution, or one about roman religion expanded from a seminar paper. I also dont do anything except donate books or money to things, I'm a lamer for sure.
#54

stegosaurus posted:

I have no real grounding, I've read parts of capital once and only passages of the grundrisse, I gave up on ancient philosophy, I skip around, I dont follow through on things, like this article on the mormon left I was going to write, or another article on workplace safety during the cultural revolution, or one about roman religion expanded from a seminar paper. I also dont do anything except donate books or money to things, I'm a lamer for sure.



I get the impression a lot of people here have the same lack of structure or formality

#55
[account deactivated]
#56
I'm fucking gay
#57
Helpp i can't stop laughing
#58
[account deactivated]
#59
[account deactivated]
#60
confesion: don't be ggay. fcukkr
#61

tpaine posted:

Impper posted:

i push away women i really like (ignore them is more apt). i'm drawn to women i don't like. i'm constantly lonely. i want to fuck all the time. i want to fuck new people. i would fuck jsut about everybody i see. i don't want to fuck. i'd give up everything just to fuck somebody new.i love peopel. i love women. i hate women that i love

oh john

i actually wrote that as a joke but i meant it kind of and it was bragging disguised as confession, like all good confessions

#62
i haven't changed my bedsheets in 2 weeks.
#63
i grew out a beard, even though it's slightly patchy.
#64

tpaine posted:

Impper posted:

i push away women i really like (ignore them is more apt). i'm drawn to women i don't like. i'm constantly lonely. i want to fuck all the time. i want to fuck new people. i would fuck jsut about everybody i see. i don't want to fuck. i'd give up everything just to fuck somebody new.i love peopel. i love women. i hate women that i love

oh john


oh long johnson

#65

AmericanNazbro posted:

i grew out a beard, even though it's slightly patchy.



dont even matter do it

#66
[account deactivated]
#67
i actually do like Stalin and the fact that he murdered millions of people, especially class traitors, even though i know that truthfully, it was ultimately counterproductive for communism
#68

innsmouthful posted:

i'm only an undergrad



I start my undergrad in the fall

#69

Impper posted:

tpaine posted:
Impper posted:
i push away women i really like (ignore them is more apt). i'm drawn to women i don't like. i'm constantly lonely. i want to fuck all the time. i want to fuck new people. i would fuck jsut about everybody i see. i don't want to fuck. i'd give up everything just to fuck somebody new.i love peopel. i love women. i hate women that i love
oh john
i actually wrote that as a joke but i meant it kind of and it was bragging disguised as confession, like all good confessions



Sex is so trite though, really.

It’s fun but when I’m getting it (like now) I feel dumb about how much it governed my thoughts when I wasn’t.

#70

babyfinland posted:

AmericanNazbro posted:

i grew out a beard, even though it's slightly patchy.

dont even matter do it



it's really thick and dense, under my chin, and that's what makes it so bad.

#71

Impper posted:

i push away women i really like (ignore them is more apt). i'm drawn to women i don't like. i'm constantly lonely. i want to fuck all the time. i want to fuck new people. i would fuck jsut about everybody i see. i don't want to fuck. i'd give up everything just to fuck somebody new.i love peopel. i love women. i hate women that i love



#72

AmericanNazbro posted:

babyfinland posted:

AmericanNazbro posted:

i grew out a beard, even though it's slightly patchy.

dont even matter do it

it's really thick and dense, under my chin, and that's what makes it so bad.



i grew mine out for about four months and then trimmed it back, now im trimming it every couple weeks or so

#73
i think Gay&Faggot are a beautiful words, and say them daily as a descriptors
#74

Impper posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

Impper posted:

bhl is such a goon it's a disgrace that they put his stuff into that book. houellebecq's writing was fragile and beautiful, straight from the soul, and bhl couldn't separate himself from hackwork. it was a shame, but it almost makes the book funnier and better in its shittiness

yeah BHL's constant pushing of his own....joie de vivre i suppose, rang hollow and seemed to hide what drove him, although at the end when he started to talk about the joy of literature i found myself getting caught up a bit though. da Becq's stuff about how he can't write (or fuck) while in a state of clear lucidity was surprising and interesting. Have you read any Baudelaire? They both seemed to wax lyrical about him

yeah i've read a lot of baudelaire and i tend not to talk about it because most of the people i've talked about him with have ended up hating him hahah. there is one really funny story where he talks about gentle souls and how he fucks up a traveling salesman by asking him to come up to his sixth-story hellish apartment, driving him away, then tossing a flower vase down at him, causing him to trip and destroy his wares as baudelaire screams, "the beauty of life! the beauty of life!" that's one of the funniest things ive read.


the bad glazier. i like that story a lot. it illustrates the contradiction between living for aesthetics and being compassionate without trying to find a solution to it. i dont think there is one. very pertinent to both our lives

#75

AmericanNazbro posted:

babyfinland posted:

AmericanNazbro posted:

i grew out a beard, even though it's slightly patchy.

dont even matter do it

it's really thick and dense, under my chin, and that's what makes it so bad.


much like your posting

#76
I miss reading fiction but I like how busy I've been lately, even though I'm hanging out with trots
#77

AmericanNazbro posted:

babyfinland posted:

AmericanNazbro posted:

i grew out a beard, even though it's slightly patchy.

dont even matter do it

it's really thick and dense, under my chin, and that's what makes it so bad.


thats what she said

#78

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

Impper posted:

tpaine posted:
Impper posted:
i push away women i really like (ignore them is more apt). i'm drawn to women i don't like. i'm constantly lonely. i want to fuck all the time. i want to fuck new people. i would fuck jsut about everybody i see. i don't want to fuck. i'd give up everything just to fuck somebody new.i love peopel. i love women. i hate women that i love
oh john
i actually wrote that as a joke but i meant it kind of and it was bragging disguised as confession, like all good confessions

Sex is so trite though, really.

It’s fun but when I’m getting it (like now) I feel dumb about how much it governed my thoughts when I wasn’t.

my libido comes and goes kind of independently of outside factors. it freaks me out

#79
i would get a hammer and sickle tattoo, the only thing holding me back is my extreme contempt and disdain for first world marxist because they are a bunch of unbearable faggots
#80

GoldenLionTamarin posted:

living for aesthetics



i still really, really don't know what this means