a few days ago, sunny afternoon, hot weather. cops standing on michigan, me standing, leaning against one of rahm’s plant receptacles. a young girl in a short skirt walks by, i notice her, of course, and i’ve been watching the cop for a while, i don’t believe he notices me - but i notice him notice her, and i watch him stare, i stare at his stare, and as the girl passes and his gaze shifts, he must be able to feel my stare, it almost seems jarring to him, his head snaps up, and now the girl’s forgotten: he’s staring at me. we watch each other for at least five minutes.
about an hour later i walk outside to smoke a cigarette. this time i stand near him, downwind, so the cigarette will bother him. he takes this as a cue to fuck with me, of course he does, i stared him down earlier, he’s a cop, and even though i’m feigning friendliness, even though in a metaphysical sense i respect him, as an individual, maybe not so much what he stands for, or his choice to join such an institution, and probably i despise his values, who he is, when it comes down to it, and i’m jealous, because he gets paid to do something i would like to do, that is to live and interact rather than sit and write tumblr posts. once i finish the cigarette he approaches at an angle. he says, hey. i nod, say, hey. he says, mind if i pat you down? i shrug, say, go ahead.
now he halfheartedly pats me down. he asks, what’s in your pocket. phone, keys, cigarettes, lighter, i say with a shrug. he clearly doesnt care; maybe he was hoping i’d react poorly. he seems to like that i don’t care about what he’s doing. he says, so what are you doing here? i work here, i say. he says, really? mind if i see your badge? i tell him that it’s a bad picture and he laughs, says okay, he believes me. now he walks away and i light another cigarette; we occasionally glance at each other, and i notice that whenever a pretty girl walks by, he checks with me before staring at her ass, sometimes making a show of not staring at her ass, and he doesnt seem to know how to interpret that i am also looking at them, occasionally, and checking with him, to see if he’s looking, because we’re both watching each other, but haven’t got much more to say to one another, since really we haven’t got anything to do with each other, other than this rivalry, which is manifesting as a slight anxiety on both our parts
Edited by Impper ()
i notice all the while though that these cops are not saying anything. they are standing and watching, watching, watching. they have nothing to say to each other. the younger cop has got a starbucks in his hand; i want to comment on it, say something like, a cop with a starbucks, what has the world come to, at least tell me that’s not a latte, that it’s a black coffee. but that betrays an old fashioned sort of sentimentality, i think. i light the cigarette and try to figure out if the smoke blowing in their direction is annoying them. they don’t seem to be fazed, there isn’t the clear annoyance in the air as before. maybe it has to do with the understanding, i think, our understanding, though obviously we don’t understand each other, we’re from different worlds, or maybe we’re the same, only we live in different worlds, yeah, that’s it, that’s definitely it, i think.
now some tourists, older women, see the cops, and get excited. wow they’re cops, i think, fucking exciting, some cops, standing about, like the other five hundred cops around here. one of the women, the brashest of the bunch, dyed hair, shades, dashes up to the cops and asks if she can get a picture between them. the cops are gregarious, they’re loving it - and i’m jealous, nobody ever does that to me, my simple existence and presence is not noteworthy, not worthy of a picture, a touristy picture, that is, of course people have taken my picture, though usually i don’t want them to; but now i’m jealous. the women squeal because of the apparent quality of the picture; one of them points out how ‘great’ all of the people in the picture look, though frankly the older cop is an ugly mother, and the tourist isn’t that great looking either, though the young cop is really beautiful, he resembles the black cop from the wire, the one who hung out with the bald white dude, and whose character developed, or whatever happened there, and maybe ultimately his good looks made up for the ugliness of the other subjects, but probably not, they’re really that ugly, really.
when that little episode ends i take a step closer, say, man, i wish people would photograph me like that, that’s awesome.
it’s not that cool, he says, laughing.
no, man, it’s fun, like that’d make my day, if that happened to me it’d be the most exciting thing to happen at work in a whole month. i say this, blabbering, i feel like i’m talking too much.
you’d get used to it, he says.
yeah i guess. is it annoying? i say.
no, it’s just … —he takes a moment to think— it’s always the same. yeah, that’s it. oh, i think, he has ennui too.
well at least it’s nice to be outside, i say.
you don’t feel like that once winter comes, he says.
with that our conversation comes to an end. i go back to my original place, a few steps away, and now i feel bad for annoying him. all the same, a few moments later i light another cigarette. halfway through it, a woman in her mid thirties approaches me and asks for a cigarette; i’m apprehensive at first, seeing as i’ve got two, but for some reason she’s insistent, so i pull the pack out. she gets concerned when she sees how barren and crushed the pack is, but i say, that’s alright, it’s two, it’s not the last one. she spends a few long moments frustratedly digging through her purse for some quarters, which she insists on pushing on me, she’s really frustrated, crestfallen, almost, something is clearly wrong, but at the same time i’m glad to have the quarters because i have to do laundry, and i’ve had a problem doing it for the last few days because i didn’t have the quarters, i’m glad to have more quarters, even though i just got five dollars worth of quarters at mcdonald’s, anyway things are working out, i think, more quarters for me.
the woman then tells a story about something that happened to her just moments ago, that is her boss pulled her into his office and criticized the quality of her work, saying ‘somebody is going to be fired,’ referring, very obviously, to her. i half-heartedly say some things, words of encouragement, or consolation perhaps, words that imply empathy and sympathy alike, but which avoid conveying sadness, condescension, or pity, anyway it’s a tight rope to walk. i make a few jokes, which she laughs at. i realize at the same time that perhaps i could do more, though clearly i have no obligation to do so, she thanks me over and over for the cigarette, says ‘i could use a drink, or to walk it off,’ which could quite well be interpreted as an invitation, though i choose actively not to interpret it that way, telling her instead to ‘get into the sun, it’ll make you feel better.’ those are really stupid words, but they are also true. after lingering for a few moments, moving slightly further away from me, the woman then dazedly walks off on her own.
i look back in the cop’s direction. he is watching this interaction, probably he watched the entire thing, and as soon as she is out of earshot he looks at me and screws up his face, he says, does that happen to you all the time?
what do you mean, i say
he says, do women just walk up and hit on you all the time?
i say, oh, i don’t know, occasionally, which i suppose is an actually true answer. i dont know that the woman was really hitting on me, though it could have been interpreted that way, as i’ve mentioned.
he says, damn, boy, i’d trade places with you in a minute.
i’m a little mystified by his answer, after all, he’s a damned good looking guy, and a cop, surely women approach him? i say, c’mon, man, that never happens to you?
not with hot ones, he says, and anyway i’m working, you can’t do that.
maybe you feel like theyre after the uniform and not you, i say.
he looks at me, screws up his face again, nods. yeah, yeah, that’s it too, he says. we clearly have a great understanding of one another.
Edited by Impper ()
Impper posted:i dont think this is really like limonov at all, content or style-wise
yeah limonov isnt inside his own head as much i think
cool story jc
Impper posted:i dont think this is really like limonov at all, content or style-wise
whatever you say buddy
Edited by jools ()
stegosaurus posted:guys connecting over girls asses
look, chicago has long winters ok
cleanhands posted:dudes checking out butts is one of those tribal dominance things, like whoever leads in turning their head is the leader of any given group of bros, for most of the men in such a group the staring has nothing to do with desire for asses and everything to do with desire for the leader *touches your head, then mimes your frontal lobe exploding* boom, right?
the only way they can do it is by obliterating women as ppl
tpaine posted:stegosaurus posted:guys connecting over girls asses
kinda gay if you ask me.
lol am i rite
futurewidow posted:cleanhands posted:dudes checking out butts is one of those tribal dominance things, like whoever leads in turning their head is the leader of any given group of bros, for most of the men in such a group the staring has nothing to do with desire for asses and everything to do with desire for the leader *touches your head, then mimes your frontal lobe exploding* boom, right?
the only way they can do it is by obliterating women as ppl
i get a sense youre kinda joking but its literally true and even scarier up close
Impper posted:lol i was at the nurse protest all this morning and there is the most intense, overwhelming nervous tension in the air i've ever felt at any sort of political rally. shit is gonna pop off
think im gonna check it out on sunday. im pretty dismayed with protest at this point but im all for pointless destruction and kewt girls i guess
i dont sit next to women on the bus if i can avoid it
i dont walk behind them
babyfinland posted:i dont look at women
i dont sit next to women on the bus if i can avoid it
i dont walk behind them
lol ur such a beta
littlegreenpills posted:babyfinland posted:i dont look at women
i dont sit next to women on the bus if i can avoid it
i dont walk behind themlol ur such a beta
do you mean desi kid or is that one of those weird pickup strategy thigns
littlegreenpills posted:the latter, although the other interpretation as mummy's boy terrified of non-related females has its own points of interest too so thanks for pointing that out to me
its interesting how its assumed that behaving in a non-threatening way towards women undermines masculinity
whats a beta then
futurewidow posted:cleanhands posted:dudes checking out butts is one of those tribal dominance things, like whoever leads in turning their head is the leader of any given group of bros, for most of the men in such a group the staring has nothing to do with desire for asses and everything to do with desire for the leader *touches your head, then mimes your frontal lobe exploding* boom, right?
the only way they can do it is by obliterating women as ppl
lol if you think anyone is an actual person in modern society. Nice troll.
babyfinland posted:i dont look at women
i dont sit next to women on the bus if i can avoid it
i dont walk behind them
must make waiting in lines a more difficult task - like adding a secondary queue to the primary queue. waiting until a man enters the line, then hurrying behind, pushing women out of the way with a heisman pose stiff arm, in an attempt to secure a spot away from any woman. very feminist and liberal tho, i have to hand it to ya' babester
AmericanNazbro posted:babyfinland posted:i dont look at women
i dont sit next to women on the bus if i can avoid it
i dont walk behind themmust make waiting in lines a more difficult task - like adding a secondary queue to the primary queue. waiting until a man enters the line, then hurrying behind, pushing women out of the way with a heisman pose stiff arm, in an attempt to secure a spot away from any woman. very feminist and liberal tho, i have to hand it to ya' babester
actually if im standing in line behind a woman i just tap them on the shoulder very lightly and whisper (so as to not startle them) that i am not a rapist