#121
Post rating: ~
psychology is distasteful because it promotes a mechanistic view of the human brain which encourages late-liberal attitudes, however, i consider this to be more of a political issue where psychology has become so powerful in academia it is viewed as a comprehensive mode of analysis for human behavior rather than a specific process that can be used to help certain individuals.
#122
Post rating: ~
the most dangerous thing about psychology is that it is considered at all scientific. it's as rigorous a discipline as marketing
#123
Post rating: ~
the benzos are down to a low enough dosage for me to start being active again, so goodbye rhizzone/LF!
#124
Post rating: ~
be free, dm
#125
[account deactivated]
#126
Post rating: ~

dm posted:

the benzos are down to a low enough dosage for me to start being active again, so goodbye rhizzone/LF!


you can still post after going to the gym, fyi. ive done it many, many, many times

#127
[account deactivated]
#128
Post rating: ~
that is a really good catchphrase
#129
[account deactivated]
#130
[account deactivated]
#131
Post rating: ~

animedad posted:

dm posted:

the benzos are down to a low enough dosage for me to start being active again, so goodbye rhizzone/LF!

you can still post after going to the gym, fyi. ive done it many, many, many times



yeah, but i at least need a break so my personal life and internet life can separate again

#132
Post rating: +

dm posted:

animedad posted:

dm posted:

the benzos are down to a low enough dosage for me to start being active again, so goodbye rhizzone/LF!

you can still post after going to the gym, fyi. ive done it many, many, many times

yeah, but i at least need a break so my personal life and internet life can separate again



Ganbatte!

#133
Post rating: ~
f

Edited by dm ()

#134
Post rating: ~

dm posted:

animedad posted:

dm posted:

the benzos are down to a low enough dosage for me to start being active again, so goodbye rhizzone/LF!

you can still post after going to the gym, fyi. ive done it many, many, many times

yeah, but i at least need a break so my personal life and internet life can separate again

in my experience youll always need an internet life just because you cant always talk about things irl, theres always gonna be stuff you prefer talking about pseudonymously with people who dont really know you and who therefore you cannot shock

as long as you dont use online as a crutch for socialising you cant go wrong (or to put it in anime terms we all understand, dont mix 2d and 3d!)

#135
Post rating: ~
lol if you haven't integrated your conciousness with that of the internet
#136
Post rating: ~
i merged with helios, what of it
#137
Post rating: ~
just as a kind of housekeeping thing, i never said that i did not have privilege. it would be incorrect (though not "wrong" in the normative sense) to assume that i'm not going to do anything with it either.

if you don't know what it's like to be completely alone in a room full of friends or feel like you don't have a home when you're sitting in one, good for you. i'll just listen more carefully when people tell me that it's "all in my head" and everything will be fine
#138
[account deactivated]
#139
Kurdt
Post rating: ~
these pretzels are makin me thirsty
#140
Post rating: ~

tpaine posted:



i really need to watch it about that whole ambiguity about what i'm saying thing in general.

i'm not particularly worried about my forum image, but getting a few quick things will make me feel a bit better about this whole weird episode.

only one person acting as an intermediary has anything close to my version of recent events and i'm fine with that. i was told that my situation was difficult to relate to and i certainly understand that. it's a little difficult to understand how easily so many other people have been willing to form opinions without even trying, but that's not my problem to deal with.

i was conditioned to take responsibility for the shortcomings everyone else i knew, so i'm going to over-adjust a bit in trying to correct for it (while still taking responsibility for the over-corrections). decades of negative emotional conditioning don't go away over night.

nobody is going to hear about the positive things i did privately, which is good because they weren't for some sort of reputation. i think that pretty clearly separates my internet life and personal life again because the former is dead

#141
Post rating: ~
dm you're a lvl 38 glorious phoenix
#142
Post rating: ~
i dont put my positive side online, because the whole point is that i can channel my negativity into something without it affecting my material world, weirding out my family, alienating my colleagues etc. capitalism is schizophrenia, and all that
#143
Post rating: +
lol, it turns out that working for one of the advocacy organizations is going to mean cutting off all ties with my family. thankfully, they should be able to help me with living arrangements, so i fully acknowledge being better off than a lot of people!
#144
Post rating: ~
k, so here's the aftermath for all of you strangers that it's easier tell about my fucked up family than my closest friends:

my dad was always really abusive and i used to plead with my mom to divorce him but she liked to pretend that she was "protecting me" from him and a custody battle. i'd considered emancipation at one point but couldn't do it and ended up getting sent where i did.

after i got out, my mom decided to divorce my dad and staying with her for a while seemed like the least worst option. this was a horrible mistake and she's a manipulative sociopath (exploiting my PTSD is among her accomplishments) that was really anxious about me leaving home. paying the bill for a psychiatrist to medicate the shit out of me was again "protecting" me. to quote from the OP (which should start making more sense now):

Distanced human beings are vulnerable to manipulation and behavior management. The inauthentic emotional expression and interaction is consequent upon their objectification as being imperfect, inadequate or deviating from popular opinion. The perception of the dominant 'medical model' system is that their deficit condition requires management that sustains the distancing. Thus they are kept at a social distance, with insecure social bonding, and they experience the social death sentence in ordinary interactions.



so she's been getting sympathy from other people the whole time. i talk about working for the advocacy organization, she flips out and complains that i've been "beating her over the head with it for seven years" and generally shows no remorse. that i'm finally going to get the fuck away from her like i should have years ago has been agreed.

drugging the shit out of me has looked like a totally legitimate way to cover for the aftermath of institutionalized child abuse that was a cover for good old fashioned child abuse. this has all been condoned by my family, friends, and everyone else i've ever known.

so yeah, i'm trying to overcome my normalized chemical dependency problems facilitated by medical oversight by negotiating with that exact same oversight, get the fuck out of this house, this city, and generally have a life worth living. my closest friends since high school (longer in some cases) are supportive in a confused sort of reflexive way because they don't really know how fucked up my family was since that tends to be how these things work.

pretty sure i don't need to worry about anyone being more curious about my personal life now.

#145
Post rating: ~

dm posted:

the benzos are down to a low enough dosage for me to start being active again, so goodbye rhizzone/LF!



DM, how did you get a script for such a high dose of benzos? i still have medical insurance, i don't know for how much longer, but i want to make the most of it while i still have it.

#146
Post rating: ~
so yeah, i'm pretty lucky to know Joel, who has been through the same shit before and made it out still capable of tolerating my bullshit long enough to help me figure out what to do. SHE also knows a thing or two about being "protected" by people as if she couldn't handle herself posting on an internet forum

Edited by dm ()

#147
Post rating: ~
yeah, Joel is a good guy, even though he's gotten a lot of flak here at LF over the years.
#148
Post rating: ~
thank you joel you're the best
#149
Post rating: ~
idk who joel is but god bress anyway
#150
[account deactivated]
#151
Post rating: ~

tpaine posted:

Thanks for just...I don't know, just for being you, Joel.



p. much. she has a boyfriend and nothing is happening between me and her. she's like a war buddy if you need a Troop analogy

#152
Post rating: ~
you're the best dm
#153
Post rating: ~

dm posted:

tpaine posted:

Thanks for just...I don't know, just for being you, Joel.

p. much. she has a boyfriend and nothing is happening between me and her. she's like a war buddy if you need a Troop analogy

dm: So ged dah reggalar ahmy ta dew eit, whad dew yew need us fower?
Joel: Because some damn fool accused you of being the best!
*baby oil bicep flex arm wrestle*

#154
Post rating: ~
she also saved my life, so if my posting has been enjoyable in the past, she should feel welcome and comfortable posting here.

blinkandwheeze posted:

you're the best dm



thanksss!! sorry, but the forums were kind of the only place to vent a lot of shit for a little bit. the reasons i'm not going to be posting much in the not too distant future are kinda obvious, but i'm still talking to people in PM's. somebody with somewhat similar experiences PMed me asking for reading recommendations and they were:

http://www.amazon.com/Being-Mentally-Ill-Sociological-Problems/dp/0202305872/

and

http://www.holocaust-history.org/lifton/contents.shtml

maybe i'll add Cyclonopedia to that for kicks!

and sorry again everyone for having really bad emotional issues that are going to take years to work out.

Edited by dm ()

#155
Post rating: +

cleanhands posted:

idk who joel is but god bress anyway



I'm pretty sure Joel is Jools

#156
Post rating: ~

AmericanNazbro posted:

[
DM, how did you get a script for such a high dose of benzos? i still have medical insurance, i don't know for how much longer, but i want to make the most of it while i still have it.



i don't remember tbh. imagine a medical professional suggesting that you drink away your past in pill form and that's pretty much what happened.

Meursault posted:

cleanhands posted:

idk who joel is but god bress anyway

I'm pretty sure Joel is Jools



if you don't already know, don't worry about it

Edited by dm ()

#157
Post rating: ~
i hope you return someday, with a new username and posting style, and can enjoy the magic of posting without the cold hand of history dragging your arm
#158
meet me in st louis
Post rating: ~

dm posted:

i did CBT in a really bad context once and it was kinda traumatizing. i've had an understandable aversion to it ever since



how old were you at the time? what were your grievances?

The engineer in me (and yes i'm wholly cognisant of how bad this sound) makes the CBT process sound logical and effective. Obviously I'm interpreting this outside of the realm of mental health...

#159
meet me in st louis
Post rating: ~
I've never really understood the role of forums drama and emotional baggage people seem to carry here. I don't concern myself with the judgement of people here (nor do I expend the effort to judge except on the merits of any individual post) but I also don't use this as a surrogate of real life socialization.

I don't know how you, dm, and others view the forum but I'm earnestly curious about what role it plays in your life/lives?
#160
Post rating: ~
im joel