#961
[account deactivated]
#962

tpaine posted:
tom is used to beholding a myriad of colors when he gets up off the throne and inspects his deposit--from midnight black to chalky white, both extremes indicating that it's time to visit captain ty-d-bowel--he could never have prepared himself for that one saturday morning last summer when, going through his normal morning routine of three shits, he pulled himself up laboriously and saw: pure gold. "by george," he panted. "i'm the goose that laid the golden egg!" Unfortunately before he could document the oddity with pictures, videos, samples, and a placard, he lost his balance and happened to hit the toilet plunger on the way down. gone was tom's golden prize, his comstock load. even dr. pooper refused to believe to believe him. what am i doing with my life.

quoted

#963
i know a lot of inane little details about most of the Big Time Posters here, but i don't know shit about tpaine. he is the last enigma
#964
[account deactivated]
#965
[account deactivated]
#966
George. You Listen to Me.
#967
[account deactivated]
#968
yo yo t-bone

how do you find these? want more.
#969
tpaine is or was a student of Law
#970
[account deactivated]
#971
[account deactivated]
#972
law child
#973
law + seinfeld = tpaines a jew
#974
[account deactivated]
#975
tpaine is randbrick
#976
wasnt paying attention on the way home and flipped my bike, haleem qu'ran broke my fall alhamdulilah
#977
how did you flip your bike just by not paying attention? showing > telling. we have post annotations for a reason...
#978
annotations still dont work for me :/ i adjusted the front brake from dangerously soupy (i had let it go for a while) to really tight, pads a couple mm off the rim. i was coming up on a crosswalk w/ a red light but no cross street and i was going to run it but at the last moment i decided not to be an asshole and stop, i pulled the lever into the handlebar because my mind was wandering and my muscle memory is rigged for the soupy brakes, and went ass over teakettle
#979
[account deactivated]
#980
i wish i had a qur'an to break my fall when i got destroyed bombing a hill a few months back
#981
*kick flips out of thread*
#982
shennong if u have brakeless fixie this not happen
#983
How do you guys force yourself to read so much, i can only get in the mood to read dense stuff in the bathtub, and because of social and work obligations I can only be in a bathtub for so long per day. What's the secret, Give methe secret
#984
im reading imppers tumblr lmao
#985
is it good
#986

Myfanwy posted:
How do you guys force yourself to read so much, i can only get in the mood to read dense stuff in the bathtub, and because of social and work obligations I can only be in a bathtub for so long per day. What's the secret, Give methe secret



I'm an only child, learnt the habit growing up.

#987
i saw the title, 'autosodomy', and i was like, lol, of course
#988
what does it mean for a tumblr to be good. i dont know. i like some of the words on it. i have a blog and its fuckin awful
#989

deadken posted:
what does it mean for a tumblr to be good.

porn

#990
My tumblr is the best one of them all if you like photos of rhodesian men and fashion clothes of course
#991
MyPrivilege ftw
#992
that reminds me i was gonna write a post on tumblr today since i was mad drunk on friday/hung over on saturday, kind of okay today, but then some girls responded to me on ok cupid and i've gone on a spree and forgot all about cool things
#993

Myfanwy posted:
How do you guys force yourself to read so much, i can only get in the mood to read dense stuff in the bathtub, and because of social and work obligations I can only be in a bathtub for so long per day. What's the secret, Give methe secret

i used to 'go out' a lot to read, and that was back when i would get through a book in 2-3 days. so i'd go to a cafe or something and read a book, but never really a bar. though in my tumblr i c/p'd some girls missed connection to a guy that read in bars all the time , my favorite bar actualy, and he sort of fits my description, but anyway she said 'your reading in the owl fills me with an erotic energy i've only known while reading balzac, or sucking ball sacks.' lol

but now i just read in bed, when i fancy it, and also when i'm going on the train to and from work. occasionally if it's something important i'll read it in other places, like a park. i also read while i sunbathe, but the weather hasn't cooperated lately

#994
reading a book in a bar, lol
#995
i thought you wrote that thing yourself lol
#996
My desire is to read enough to become the strongest and most erudite advocate for anti-intellectualism in the world.

Also Impper you should find that girl, she sounds fun.
#997

Groulxsmith posted:
reading a book in a bar, lol


whats wrong with that

#998

deadken posted:
i thought you wrote that thing yourself lol

i used to write fake MCs like that all the time, but i haven't had the 'inclination' recently. but the grammar/writing was so bad in that.. how could u think it was me man... damn... or maybe it was good because it was real.

on friday i was hanging out with a dude who kept tagging 'Get Real' all over, and the girl i was with was getting really mad hahahaha

#999
I'm very nearly autistic but if I'm going to be in a bar alone I can put away the bookish nihilist facade and talk to another person for an hour or so
#1000

Ironicwarcriminal posted:
My desire is to read enough to become the strongest and most erudite advocate for anti-intellectualism in the world.

Also Impper you should find that girl, she sounds fun.

the last two girls i've met were in that same bar and tho they weren't her they very well could have been. it's one of my fav places