#1
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
I'm doing my end of year retrospective where I pirate all the movies that got released over the year, then watch them mostly at fast speed or skipping the boring parts. One of these movies hit me with a closeup of a child's severed head with ants eating it. Then the next one showed me two different people with their faces ripped off. Then the next one had a hyper realistic shot of a guy crushing another guy's skull in his hands and his eyeball pops out. Now I'm watching Sense and Sensibility (1995) and cackling at Mrs Jenning's outrageous loose tongue, hoping she is not about to be pinned in front of a semi truck and smeared down the on-ramp for absolutely no reason. Hey movie directors: what is going on?! I mean, seriously?? Knock it off already!!
#2
Post rating: +
People keep asking for “dark and gritty” cus it is for le intellectuals.
#3
Post rating: ~
theyre badass
#4
Post rating: ~
there's a really good scene in Friday The 13th Part 3 (3D) where jason crushes some guys skull and his eyeball pops out towards the screen lol
#5
Post rating: +
#6
Post rating: ~

swampman posted:

One of these movies hit me with a closeup of a child's severed head with ants eating it.


In retrospect, the unnecessary duration of that shot was a big red flag that the ending was going to be really dumb and terrible.

#7
Post rating: ~
What movie was that
#8
Post rating: ~
watching movies is for nerds
#9
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: ~

dimashq posted:

What movie was that


Why? Because you intend to seek out pictures of mutilated children?

#10
Post rating: ~
chiming in to say, i also want to watch the decapitated child movie
#11
Post rating: ~
chiming in to say, i also want to watch the decapitated child movie
#12
Post rating: ~

swampman posted:

dimashq posted:

What movie was that

Why? Because you intend to seek out pictures of mutilated children?


#13
Post rating: +

dimashq posted:

What movie was that


Paddington 2.

#14
Post rating: +

swampman posted:

dimashq posted:

What movie was that

Why? Because you intend to seek out pictures of mutilated children?



to put it on the front page of the rhizzone

#15
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
For once I'd like to download a movie called something like "Evisceration Road 2: Blood to the Bone" and discover its about how scientists are declaring that the joy derived from sharing your food with a hungry person is now the official SI unit of human happiness
#16
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: ~
My picks for good movies of 2018
- A Simple Favor (2018)
- Loving Vincent (2017)
- Unsane (2018)
and that's it. the rest of them sucked royal ass.
#17
lies half the time
Post rating: ~
my picks for good movies of 2018:

#18
lies half the time
Post rating: ~
i didn't watch any movies in 2018
#19
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: ~
Great thanks for your question or comment
#20
lies half the time
Post rating: ~
o wait i saw sorry to bother you. good movie. best movie i saw all year
#21
Post rating: ~

swampman posted:

My picks for good movies of 2018
- Loving Vincent (2017)



downvoted for historical inaccuracy

#22
Online
Post rating: ~
edit: damnn im like 2 weeks late on a joke... ahh shit, ah hell

Edited by ilmdge ()

#23
[account deactivated]
#24
Post rating: ~

toyotathon posted:

'most damp surfaces' and 'most face-touching' 2018 oscars will for the fifth year running, go to 'hard to be a god'


that movie is incredibly cool

#25
Post rating: +
movies are terrible aren't they, especially violent Ones
#26
Post rating: +
Robocop is the best movie of all time, sorry for you're loss OP
#27
Post rating: +
Fuck you alien and aliens are masterpieces.
#28
Post rating: +

Populares posted:

Fuck you alien and aliens are masterpieces.


Alien is better than Aliens.

#29
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: ~
These movies are kind of goofy... I mean, aliens aren't real..
#30
lies half the time
Post rating: ~
what's goofy, is that walmart bought out weyland-yutani. and that rod blagojevich was ripley's lawyer
#31
[account deactivated]
#32
Post rating: ~
#33
[account deactivated]
#34
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
I think a good example of what I'm talking about is Wolf Hall. It's a show about average British people falling in and out of friendship and love, and the difficulty of raising children under (I presume?) Theresa May's government. Then suddenly at the end of episode six, bamn, there's Adam Driver cutting off Anne Boleyn's head for some reason. Totally gratuitous and not how normal people solve their problems.
#35
Post rating: ~

swampman posted:

Then suddenly at the end of episode six, bamn, there's Adam Driver cutting off Anne Boleyn's head for some reason. Totally gratuitous and not how normal people solve their problems.


I don't know what this show is but you better not be talking shit about our good friend Louisette, who has shown you can solve a lot of problems by cutting people's heads off.

#36
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: ~
Thanks for sucking the holy joy from out my comical film review. No, you doofus, they chopped Boleyn with a epee. Driver ressemblait à Conflit de Nuage avec Dernier fantaisie sept
#37
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +
My review of both Venom (2018) and Upgrade (2018)
#38
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: ~

shriekingviolet posted:

Alien is better than Aliens.



That's true. But in defense of Aliens, in the category of blatant un-credited scene-for-scene rip-offs of someone else's movie, it's one of the best ever made

#39
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: ~
if you're wondering how many threads I can resurrect to say James Cameron stole Aliens from Gordon Douglas and hoped no one would notice, the answer is, more than I have so far.
#40
UNUSUALY COOL
Post rating: ~

swampman posted:

My review of both Venom (2018)



It's interesting to me how that movie arrived at that bad way of telling a story through the most needlessly complicated way possible. That movie has an ever-present voice-over always talking with the main character because the movie is adapted from a semi-parody of a much older story, one that was written for young adolescents and covered for its own hero talking to himself all the time by making him a guilt-ridden neurotic worrying over a busy love life.

And that guy talked to himself all the time because it was necessary to help a young audience follow a serial-fiction story that was plotted and drawn before it was scripted, and since the guy scripting it had set up his job and the company so he rarely had to talk to the writer-artist, a story about a solo character could end up incoherent on the page, because a hero without teammates had no excuse to explain what was happening to the kids at home. The hero of that story had to keep telling himself and the reader where he was and what he was doing, and it didn't help that the original artist quickly decided he hated the guy writing the script, who was also his boss and stole everyone's work at the company.

So that movie got to voice-over narration because it had become essential to the elevator pitch that sold the movie, there was no movie without it, and the movie had to exist eventually through the polyp-like growth of exploitable properties traded around Hollywood. It took a precise combination of historical events to make something mundane and ugly happen, like hiking the Appalachian Trail to find a place to shit. It's a pure unadulterated glimpse into where superhero movies have led popular cinema and it should probably be destroyed but I liked the part where Tom Hardy climbed into the lobster tank at the restaurant.