#1
App Developer/Libertarian/Dad
Post rating: +
Yet when I attempted to give President Obama my new invention, the hot dog alarm clock, in celebration of his election to the presidency all I got was two years in an Egyptian black prison cell?? What the fuck?!
#2
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +++++
^^^invented the hot dog alarm clock in 1987 and still refers to it as his "new" invention to distract fromthe fact that it was never ready for market to begin with
#3
"Jpg." - Hank Hill
Post rating: +
obama and Muslim Urkel shake hands. muslim urkel is just beaming until he tries to pull his hand away and notice that their skin has fused. he starts screaming as he's pulled bodily into obama's pulsating black mass. obama burps as biden nods to a craft services table. urk-a-el's glasses clatter to the floor. obama reaches over and grabs a hot dog with only a few whisps of smoke coming from his hand. he had Become
#4
Post rating: +
goddamn teens today can't do anything without computer, yeah listen nerd, i made my own clock too, it's little something called the sun maybe you've heard about it?
#5
App Developer/Libertarian/Dad
Post rating: +++++
In 1987 the hot dog alarm clock was ready for market, the market itself wasn't ready. Have you heard of something called the Savings and Loan Scandal? Iran Contra? You were presumably shitting your drawers in 1987 so you'll forgive me if I don't take your opinion very seriously. The hot dog alarm clock broke too many rules, and rule number one is grease the wheels. You've got to play game with the players, BALL games. Bernie Sanders will institute full communism and every home will have a functionally unlimited number of all goods including the hot dog alarm clock
#6
"Jpg." - Hank Hill
Post rating: +++++
#7
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: +

FSAD posted:

In 1987 the hot dog alarm clock was ready for market, the market itself wasn't ready. Have you heard of something called the Savings and Loan Scandal? Iran Contra? You were presumably shitting your drawers in 1987 so you'll forgive me if I don't take your opinion very seriously. The hot dog alarm clock broke too many rules, and rule number one is grease the wheels. You've got to play game with the players, BALL games. Bernie Sanders will institute full communism and every home will have a functionally unlimited number of all goods including the hot dog alarm clock

The thing has a non negligble chance of rupturing at night dousing the room and all occupants with boiling hot dog water. And you act like you deserve NASA contracts or somethig

#8
App Developer/Libertarian/Dad
Post rating: +
The hot dogs need to run at exactly 100 degrees Celsius to generate the internal saline differential. The current generated by that difference in salinity is how the hot dog water then turns into a pressure-solidified plasmoid which vibrates 38,940 times per second. That vibration is channeled through the hot dog sausage casings to the external clock mechanisms via red alligator clips. If you're afraid to have your whole house smell like hot dog water then just be a pussy but the chance that the water maintains that 100 degree temperature by the time it sprays across the room is precisely nil. If you knew anything about the physics of heat transference, which you obviously don't, you'd know that unless you're living above 8,000 feet in altitude that calling that water boiling is histrionic at best, so my suggestion to you is consider a hysterectomy.
#9
Post rating: +
Mods change swampmans name to dirty_water_dog_walker
#10
[account deactivated]
#11
Post rating: ~
i feel like goatstein is the FAT JEW of our forum considering almost all his upvotes are reposts
#12
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +
goatstein is not jewish. his name refers to a beer stein that has a goat's head built into it. let's not accuse someone of something so casually.
#13
Dont Mess With Sucess
Post rating: ~

getfiscal posted:

goatstein is not jewish.

Kind of like how your name is about unhealthy fixation on Liga MX footballer Michael Orozco Fiscal

#14
App Developer/Libertarian/Dad
Post rating: +
Peter Griffin: Can you imagine a world where Goatstein *was* Jewish though?

*wavy effect*

Goatstein is running along the road in Nevada, dressed in a heavy black overcoat and felt hat, his sidelocks dripping with sweat.

Goatstein: Oy gevalt! A little less sun maybe?!
#15
App Developer/Libertarian/Dad
Post rating: +
http://www.wnd.com/2015/09/muslim-boys-cool-clock-is-a-fraud-says-expert/

Wrap it up Muslimclockailures
#16
Not Your S.H.I.E.L.D.
Post rating: +
"Cool clock, Ahmed" is the "Smooth move, Exlax" of the 21st Century
#17
Post rating: +
whoa this fucking 14 year old pulled one over on america with this goddamn clock
#18
App Developer/Libertarian/Dad
Post rating: +++++
Honestly between this and the whole "Middle East" situation, things aren't looking too great for Muslims in the beginning of the 21st century
#19
Post rating: ~

aerdil posted:

whoa this fucking 14 year old pulled one over on america with this goddamn clock



Not all of America. He didn't fool Sarah Palin. Not for a fucking second.

#20
"Jpg." - Hank Hill
Post rating: +
https://twitter.com/ppppolls/status/646344659824979968 …