piss posted:
Dear Lord I cannot believe that video exists
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Leon Trotsky as the most class conscious revolutionary of all time and accept the Fourth International as the only legitimate representative of the interests of the workers of the world!"
At this moment a brave, revolutionary, unreformed Stalinist NKVD veteran who had an appreciation for socialist realist art and read a chapter of Capital every night before going to sleep stood up and waved the red flag.
"If Trotsky was so great, why wasn't the revolution permanent?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite bourgeoisly and smugly replied, "Because the Soviet Union was a deformed workers state, you idiot gerontocrat!"
"Wrong. Comrade Stalin purged Russia of the kulaks and all enemies of the workers. If your theory of revolution was correct, we would have achieved communism by now."
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of A People's History of the United States. He stormed out of the room crying those social-fascist crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Noam Chomsky, wished he had adopted the policies of the Third Period and become more than an infantile leftist bourgeois stooge. He wished so much that he had not betrayed the revolution, but he himself had sold it out!
The students applauded and all sang the State Anthem of the USSR and accepted Socialism in One Country as the best path forward for proletarian cause. An eagle named "Slavoj Zizek" flew into the room and perched atop a copy of "Pravda" and sniffed snot onto its print. The last sentence of the "The Communist Manifesto" was read several times, and Sergei Eisenstein himself showed up and demonstrated how to roll a baby down the Odessa steps.
The professor lost his tenure and was taken out back and shot the next day. He loved Big Brother.
The student's name?
Edited by Crow ()
babyhueypnewton posted:Did you know Qaddafi raped a woman and had coke parties, Kim Jong Il had a huge porn collection, and Stalin murdered his wife cause he was craaaazy!
I actually didn't know any of these things. Stalin murdered his wife?
"She married Joseph Stalin in 1903 in a church, and gave him a son, Yakov Dzhugashvili. She died of typhus in 1907. Much of her family (including her sister Mariko and brother Alexander) would later be executed during her husband's Great Terror."
Cool guy
babyhueypnewton posted:There's always sex stuff especially
like when the unfunny jackals on this website go after you for the crime of "having sex with a girl"
babyhueypnewton posted:Funny that the propaganda about Beria and every communist in history is not just: he was a communist. They are always insane, and also sexual predators, and spent their youths torturing small animals, also they didn't even really believe in communism anyway. There's always sex stuff especially, AmeriKKKan propaganda is obsessed with sexualizing its enemies. Did you know Qaddafi raped a woman and had coke parties, Kim Jong Il had a huge porn collection, and Stalin murdered his wife cause he was craaaazy!
lol remember when the US government brutally and extra-judiciously murdered like 20 unarmed women and children in a late night home invasion on sovereign foreign soil and the next days headline was "Osama's Massive Porn Stash Retrieved"
Crow posted:A reformed Eurocommunist post-Marxist New Leftist Frankfurt School professor and social democrat was teaching a class on Nikita Khrushchev, known revisionist.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Leon Trotsky as the most class conscious revolutionary of all time and accept the Fourth International as the only legitimate representative of the interests of the workers of the world!"
At this moment a brave, revolutionary, unreformed Stalinist NKVD veteran who had an appreciation for socialist realist art and read a chapter of Capital every night before going to sleep stood up and waved the red flag.
"If Trotsky was so great, why wasn't the revolution permanent?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite bourgeoisly and smugly replied, "Because the Soviet Union was a deformed workers state, you idiot gerontocrat!"
"Wrong. Comrade Stalin purged Russia of the kulaks and all enemies of the workers. If your theory of revolution was correct, we would have achieved communism by now."
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of A People's History of the United States. He stormed out of the room crying those social-fascist crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Noam Chomsky, wished he had adopted the policies of the Third Period and become more than an infantile leftist bourgeois stooge. He wished so much that he had not betrayed the revolution, but he himself had sold it out!
The students applauded and all sang the State Anthem of the USSR and accepted Socialism in One Country as the best path forward for proletarian cause. An eagle named "Slavoj Zizek" flew into the room and perched atop a copy of "Pravda" and sniffed snot onto its print. The last sentence of the "The Communist Manifesto" was read several times, and Sergei Eisenstein himself showed up and demonstrated how to roll a baby down the Odessa steps.
The professor lost his tenure and was taken out back and shot the next day. He loved Big Brother.
The student's name?Spoiler!
Crow posted:Yo whos stealing your $h1t https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=250962831719106
Failing to see the wisdom, knowledge, or the grace here...I don't get it. Is this supposed to refer to evolution? If so, maybe one should learn something about evolution or atheism before making jokes. And by learn something, I mean reading books, not listening to the nonsense babbling of republican polititions or religious zealots.
Superabound posted:Kim Jong-un Kills Porn-Loving Girlfriend and several thousand other traitors
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bourgeois? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Soviet Red Army, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Imperialists, and I have over 600 confirmed kills. I am trained in People's War, Insurgency, gorilla warfare and Dialectics and I’m the top class warrior in the entire Revolutionary Movement. You are nothing to me but just another class enemy. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that Reactionary Idealist shit to me over the Internet? Think again, Imperialist stooge. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Communist Party Cells across the world and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the revolution, Reactionary maggot. The revolution that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your precious petty-bourgeois life. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my copy of Capital vol. 1. Not only am I extensively trained in class war, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the People's Army and the Secret Police and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable class off the face of the world, you little bourgeois. If only you could have known what unholy proletarian retribution your little “clever” act of class war was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, bourgeois scum. I will shit proletarian fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, petty-bourgeois kid.