#1
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: +++++
Sendero Luminoso (The Shining Path, Peru)

What we know as the "Sendero Luminoso" is actually a cargo cult based in an isolated Peruvian village. It has its origins in the misplacement of a notebook belonging to a one Jonah "babyhueypnewton" Fratzschenstein (as is written on the front cover of the composition notebook/holy relic). Apparently left behind by accident after the young man snuck out of his hotel to explore the seedy side of Peruvian culture, the villagers were enthralled by the doodles in the margins of his history notes of historical figures such as Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong, cartoonishly muscular, performing WWE moves on antisemitic caricatures that may or may not be representations of his parents and teachers. Mistaken for a Marxist-Leninist movement, the cult catapulted to international fame in 1980 when their announcement of the return of the great Messiah "BADASS MAO" was taken to be a declaration of People's War on the Peruvian government. The elder witch doctor is currently held in a public prison as is the custom of rural Peruvian folk awaiting celestial marriage to the gods (in this case, Lenin, Stalin, Mao).
#2
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: +
Unified Communist Party of Nepal (Maoist)

During the 90s, American corporations were in love with the idea of the "leadership retreat." These activities were supposed to inculcate a sense of camaraderie between workers in an otherwise individualistic and cut-throat business world. One company, name unknown, took this to the next level by organizing a trust-building retreat in the high mountains of Nepal. Things went awry when a "Get to Know You Hike" brought the group to an altitude where the atmosphere had far less oxygen than they were used to. Following rule #3 "Think Positive," the executives faithfully marched on into the mountains, and lacking communication and oxygen in their brains, quickly became lost. Some months later, they returned to Nepalese society, in ragged clothes and smelling strongly of goats, having internalized the messaging of the retreat to a transcendent level. Their teachings of positive reinforcement and stress management techniques quickly spread throughout the country, before the monarchy became extremely nervous about the cheerfulness of his people and declared them a terroristic communist group bent on overthrowing the government.
#3
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: +
Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia—Ejército del Pueblo (FARC-EP, Colombia)

Terry Richardson's career may publicly be known to have began in 1993, but the son of photographer Bob Richardson has been employed in the picture-taking business for much longer than that. Terry Richardson was born in 1964, the same year that FARC took up arms against the Colombian government--or so we are led to believe. In fact, "FARC" is the long-running prep work for the biggest photoshoot of Terry's career: and it's not clear whether he knows this himself or not. Sold to a rich Colombian family as a baby by his schizophrenic father, Terry was the subject of a strange and obscure masonic ritual that linked him intimately with the nation of Colombia. Terry's fascination with camerawork, celebrities and Hollywood glamor mirrors FARC's involvement in the drug trade, kidnapping of Western tourists and exploitation of teenagers. Interviews with Terry's psychiatrist revealed that Terry finds himself helplessly compelled by the Colombian rebels, that "FARC-EP is like the biggest, baddest rock band in the fucking world. They do blow, they kick ass, they are the avatar of the Creator's Eye on this Plane." According to experts in occultism, the culmination of the this unholy marriage is expected to come to fruition sometime in the year 2015, when Terry will travel to Colombia to photograph "FARC," and as the planets align the Great Constructor of the World will usher in an age of enlightenment and reason that will unleash the real power of man to control his reality beyond our greatest imagination.
#4
Post rating: ~
nice find m8
#5
Post rating: +
Shining path is cool
#6
Post rating: ~
How do you edit wikipedia pages?
#7
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +
thanks for this racist tripe. most of this is made up, by the way.
#8
[account deactivated]
#9
Kurdt
Post rating: ~
do the PFLP next
#10
[account deactivated]
#11
Kurdt
Post rating: +
leila...you've got me on my knees
#12
[account deactivated]
#13
[account deactivated]
#14
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: +
Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine

Palestinians are some of the most "online" people in the world. Facebook, Twitter and online gaming are extremely popular in the Occupied Territories, and perhaps ironically, none is more popular than the game Counterstrike. Played online in teams of terrorists vs. counter-terrorists, this game has captured the imagination of the Palestinian youth, playing out in the cyberworld their fantasies of the destruction of Israel, or those of bringing justice to the criminal elements in their communities. As more devoted players of the game form "clans" that practice together to compete in tournaments, Palestinians and Israelis alike have played against one another, and formed a fun and peaceful way to interact online, shooting at each other, or alongside one another, without any loss of life. One of the most popular clans is the PFLP: an Israeli clan who only plays as the terrorist team in the game. These players have fully embraced the role-playing aspect of the game that is not typically known for such things: going so far as to write up detailed manifestos of Marxist-Leninist propaganda against Israel, and most famously creating a logo that depicts the removal of Israel from the Palestinian Coast. This logo can be seen spray-painted all over the Occupied Territories, as the clan has gained a huge fanbase amongst Palestinians. The Israeli government and Palestinian Authority have both declared the clan a terrorist organization and actively pursue its members throughout the Occupied Territories, although all of their members are Israeli citizens living in Israel.
#15
meet me in st louis
Post rating: ~
l337 crew:

Middle-Eastern fundamentalists based on world domination and other evil deeds.
#16
meet me in st louis
Post rating: ~
i knwo what was behind the 20th centurys most revolutionary movements. my behind.
#17
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: +
Euskadi Ta Askatasuna (Basque Country, Spain)

Famous for their white hoods and berets, this Dark Wave group is one of the last remaining bands of the genre still touring. Unfortunately the brooding poetry of their lyrics are largely incomprehensible due to the obscurity of the language it is sung in, Basque. Also, their recorded material is extremely hard to come by, as the band intentionally limited production of albums to 100 for each of their three releases ("Bietan Jarrai," "Zuzendaritza Batzordea," and "Herri Batasuna"). Formed in college by an unknown number of Basque students, this group has sustained itself through many roster changes, as members have retired and perhaps even died through its intensely secretive practices, which include the famous white hoods. Fans of the band are often initiated into official fandom as "liberados," as opposed to the "legalak" who are still permitted to live ordinary lives. Liberados are extremely commited to the band, and known for their rowdiness after concerts, often getting into street fights known as "kale borroka." Contrary to popular misconceptions of the band as a Basque nationalist group, their evocations of freedom and liberation are spiritual and transcendental in nature, not intended towards any particular political cause. Their refusal to conduct interviews to clarify the matter has caused them to be declared a terrorist organization by governments across the world. They continue to tour throughout Spain despite the heavy restrictions imposed upon them by international law.
#18
Post rating: +
Behind every great 20th Century Revolutionary Movement is a great 20th century Revolutionary Womovement
#19
[account deactivated]
#20
Post rating: +
how bout u get out then
#21
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

roseweird posted:

this place seems pretty dead and tbh it's better off that way


Are we talking about the forum or the desert gulch between your legs.

#22
[account deactivated]
#23
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +
jokes like that are why i'm 100% behind roseweird's plan to phase out XYs
#24
[account deactivated]
#25
[account deactivated]
#26
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

getfiscal posted:

jokes like that are why i'm 100% behind roseweird's plan to phase out XYs

cant wait for that humorless wasteland

#27
[account deactivated]
#28
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +
humourless wasteland is my favourite song by the who
#29
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~

roseweird posted:

there will be a lot of humor, people can laugh about how that guy tom, remember him? is not around anymore, lol, that little fucker



thats a real knee slapper

#30
[account deactivated]
#31
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
thank you for your restraint.
#32
Post rating: +
was anyone else surprised to learn 'tom' is an actual poster and not just a platonic subject of fat jokes?
#33
Kurdt
Post rating: +
no. get it together po-po
#34
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: +
i looked in the mirror and realized the fat man was me. suddenly the jokes weren't so funny anymore. suddenly my laughter turned to tears. but then, it became funny again. then i started to laugh again.
#35
Post rating: ~

postposting posted:

was anyone else surprised to learn 'tom' is an actual poster and not just a platonic subject of fat jokes?



no but i was shocked the first time i met bippy irl

#36
tardy on these heaters
Post rating: ~
its subtember at subway. all footlongs $5 at participating stores, all september long
#37
Post rating: ~
last time that happened i ate 8 subs in a single day, boy were my glutes tired
#38
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +
one time i went to subway for breakfast and ordered 2 footlong egg + cheese + bacon sandwiches and when she asked what i wanted to drink i said 2 cartons of milk so she'd think it was for two people.
#39
[account deactivated]
#40
Post rating: +
having an obsession with audrey hepburn and getting breakfast at subways is probably the most Donald of all possible actions