#1
Post rating: ~
if you were definitely going to join the armed forces of the United States (like me), which branch would you join? I'm open to any justification, even 'wacky' 'troll' or 'comedy option' justifications, because I need a real life one. So which one would it be? Because you're less likely to die? Because you can get a job after you serve? Let's talk about some issues, people
#2
Post rating: +
the CIA is probably the best for for any burgeoning leftist who wants to get involved in radical leftwing politics
#3
[account deactivated]
#4
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +
you're a warrior. i know it, you know it. we all know it.

army. infantry officer. no compromises.
#5
Online
Post rating: ~
yvan eht nioj
#6
Post rating: ~
marines so you can scream 'orah and fuck other men but still be bros
#7
Post rating: +

wasted posted:

marines so you can scream 'orah and fuck other men but still be bros



all you have to do is join a gym if you want to do that

#8
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: ~
the marines and all that is for showboating. you're just a solid soldier. go army.
#9
Post rating: ~

AmericanNazbro posted:

wasted posted:

marines so you can scream 'orah and fuck other men but still be bros

all you have to do is join a gym if you want to do that


not nearly the same rush as you get in a combat zone

#10
Post rating: ~
no way fbi would be a lot better than cia for a 'burgeoning leftist.' either way, im thinking airforce so i can release footage of drones killing kids and get sent to prison for life with no chance of ever being freed ever
#11
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: ~
you've got a degree so you can do officer candidate school.

if you don't want to be an officer, you can still enlist at E-4 (rank of specialist) as a degree-holder.
#12
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: ~
air force is chair force. it's all paperwork. the chances of being a combat pilot in the air force is like saying you want to work for the city and ending up as mayor. it's fuel technicians and clerks all the way down.
#13
Post rating: ~
hell yeah i dont want to be around a bunch of privates and shit
#14
Post rating: ~
yeah i should def join the air force because im too tall to probably sit in a jet or combat station in a carrier or something so can get a job as s plane mechanic or something after im done
#15
Post rating: +
you should join the ////fail force. Then you can go to colorado and be in the most racist, evangelist faction of the military, be brutally hazed for being a muslim (or youll convert?? Hide??) kill muslim weddings as a predator drone pilot, & then fail security clearance because of your scenecore lifestyle and so have no sweet headshot vids to release in order 2 spread the good word..
#16
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: ~

Crow posted:

you should join the ////fail force. Then you can go to colorado and be in the most racist, evangelist faction of the military, be brutally hazed for being a muslim (or youll convert?? Hide??) kill muslim weddings as a predator drone pilot, & then fail security clearance because of your scenecore lifestyle and so have no sweet headshot vids to release in order 2 spread the good word..

don't recruitshame

#17
Post rating: ~
HEY HEY HEY, I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I'M A FIFTH COLUMNIST. YEA YEA. I'M REALIZING MYSELF. DON'T TELL THOUGH SHHHH
#18
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +++++

wasted posted:

HEY HEY HEY, I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I'M A FIFTH COLUMNIST. YEA YEA. I'M REALIZING MYSELF. DON'T TELL THOUGH SHHHH

i'm traveling to america in two weeks and i haven't been since 2006 and i'm seriously slightly worried that the border police will be like hmm your passport just lit up my screen. then i'll go into a small room with a water dispenser and a man with a crew cut will ask me if i know who baby huey p. newton is.

#19
[account deactivated]
#20
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +
on the other hand discipline once told me she wanted to do everything she could to help al-qaeda and she still flies more than some birds so i should shred my maoist papers and calm down.
#21
Post rating: +
i said fail force but i;m talking about the air force. if that isnt clear
#22
Post rating: +

getfiscal posted:

wasted posted:

HEY HEY HEY, I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I'M A FIFTH COLUMNIST. YEA YEA. I'M REALIZING MYSELF. DON'T TELL THOUGH SHHHH

i'm traveling to america in two weeks and i haven't been since 2006 and i'm seriously slightly worried that the border police will be like hmm your passport just lit up my screen. then i'll go into a small room with a water dispenser and a man with a crew cut will ask me if i know who baby huey p. newton is.



i had this same feeling as well but it's fine they just ask you gaey trick questions

"how much money are you bringing into the country?!?!" in a way that makes it seem like you better not be bringing any

so i'm like oh none and he's like "WEll how are you going to support yourself while you're here, HUH?" and i'm like i've got this card and he's like off you go m8

they're pretty chill all up considering how many people conceivably would want to harm the US

#23
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: +
yeah. i just want to make clear that my posting is serious business and closely monitored by the governments of the world.
#24
Post rating: ~
why you going to the $nakes fringus?
#25
Mike Nelson here.
Post rating: ~

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

why you going to the $nakes fringus?

i am going to south carolina with my family for a vacation.

#26
Post rating: ~

getfiscal posted:

Ironicwarcriminal posted:

why you going to the $nakes fringus?

i am going to south carolina with my family for a vacation.



that sounds nice, the weather should be a refreshing change from a montreal february i imagine

#27
Post rating: ~

wasted posted:

HEY HEY HEY, I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I'M A FIFTH COLUMNIST. YEA YEA. I'M REALIZING MYSELF. DON'T TELL THOUGH SHHHH



im a sixth columnist myself

#28
Post rating: ~
the canadian border guards are big jerks!
#29
[account deactivated]
#30
Post rating: ~
chair force if you're white. their barracks are called dorms. you'll meet lots of mormons

army or navy if you're otw. try to get submarine duty if you're into fucking dudes

coast guard if you're filipino

usmc if you're a rapist and you don't want to get caught yet. oorah devil dog
#31
political car tune
Post rating: ~

getfiscal posted:

on the other hand discipline once told me she wanted to do everything she could to help al-qaeda and she still flies more than some birds so i should shred my maoist papers and calm down.

it's rude and out of fashion to refer to women as birds

#32
Poronto
Post rating: +
there's a psychosocially heterodox lady who rides the same bus as me and continually chants "I joined the military and I joined the airforce and I went to the library and I joined the constabulary and I joined the army and I told the navy and I kissed a sailor and I am a sailor and I joined the military and I'm in the cavalry" and so on so ask her
#33
Post rating: +++++
I made this account to tell all of you people that I think you're disgusting.

You have transphobes on this site, you sling around gay as an insult and even this very thread contains several oh-so-edgy homophobic jokes.

And now y'all are joking about joining the US Army, the single most murderous and repugnant entity on this planet.

I understand it doesn't affect your personally, you're not the ones to have their loved ones die right in front of your eyes. You're not the ones to have your country reduced to rubble in a "peacekeeping intervention".

But I supposed you are so bereft of human decency that all that -including civilian headshot videos - is a joking matter to you.

You're disgusting and morally reprehensible and not my comrades. I came here from /r/commusism and lurked for a while and you're disgusting. I would feel safer and more comfortable in a forum of liberal conservatives than I do here.

I hope you all die.

#34
Post rating: ~
you're a faggot
#35
Online
Post rating: ~
I appreciate the reality check
#36
Post rating: +
Every "branch" on the Ugly Tree, OP. Oh, I see you've already met those
#37
Post rating: ~

idonlieku posted:

I made this account to tell all of you people that I think you're disgusting.

You have transphobes on this site, you sling around gay as an insult and even this very thread contains several oh-so-edgy homophobic jokes.

And now y'all are joking about joining the US Army, the single most murderous and repugnant entity on this planet.

I understand it doesn't affect your personally, you're not the ones to have their loved ones die right in front of your eyes. You're not the ones to have your country reduced to rubble in a "peacekeeping intervention".

But I supposed you are so bereft of human decency that all that -including civilian headshot videos - is a joking matter to you.

You're disgusting and morally reprehensible and not my comrades. I came here from /r/commusism and lurked for a while and you're disgusting. I would feel safer and more comfortable in a forum of liberal conservatives than I do here.

I hope you all die.



Changing my vote to this.

#38
sing hallelujah
Post rating: ~

idonlieku posted:

I made this account to tell all of you people that I think you're disgusting.

You have transphobes on this site, you sling around gay as an insult and even this very thread contains several oh-so-edgy homophobic jokes.

And now y'all are joking about joining the US Army, the single most murderous and repugnant entity on this planet.

I understand it doesn't affect your personally, you're not the ones to have their loved ones die right in front of your eyes. You're not the ones to have your country reduced to rubble in a "peacekeeping intervention".

But I supposed you are so bereft of human decency that all that -including civilian headshot videos - is a joking matter to you.

You're disgusting and morally reprehensible and not my comrades. I came here from /r/commusism and lurked for a while and you're disgusting. I would feel safer and more comfortable in a forum of liberal conservatives than I do here.

I hope you all die.



homosexuality is a bourgeois extravagance - mao

#39
Post rating: ~
reddit postin az nigga
#40
Post rating: +
When an actual revolution starts you'll be the first ones in front of a firing squad.