EmanuelaOrlandi posted:because you tuoch yourself in public restrooms in the daytime and post about it
that's a mirror.
Assuming that the former is not true, let's move on to what you should be expecting. Despite what you may have gleaned, we actually have a pretty good concept of how pregnancy works: Shoot your hot jizz into a vagina. The possibility of defective jizz/vagina is excluded if you are following step 1, and will not be engaged in great detail.
Once impregnored, your female companion will gain the emotional stability of a cornered serial killer and the ability to deal aggravated damage. Fleeing is obviously the best solution in this situation, but is considered socially unacceptable due to misandry.
For about 9 months the baby will percolate inside of your nauseous werewolf, during which time you will have so many doctors visits that you will suspect that you are actually the pregnant one and they want to keep weekly documentation on this miracle of science. Your lady person will be rubbed with bellyoil and your baby will be shot with retardifying ultrasound and the resulting rorschach blot will have parts circled at random by an ethnic technician who will pretend to be excited despite having seen more births than a skanky queen termite.
As birth approaches, you have two options. First, you can try to, without killing it, squirt an asthmatic turkey out the hole that, as you might remember from personal experience, is roughly the proper diameter to accept a human penis. Or you can pull it out like the engine block of a 92 ford taurus. The first method is allegedly safer but at what point during this process were you making rational decisions anyway
Your baby will be born with something minor allegedly wrong with it. God alone knows how this species ever managed to make it to the point of developing the modern hospital. This process allows the hospital to sell your baby to the israelis while giving you a hateful replicant. source: Al-Jazeera
Now that the family is home, be aware of the following reality: your baby is a shrieking monster that exists only to spray feces all over your sleep cycle. remember that you love the thing and that once it comes out you're no longer allowed to murder it. thanks, government
Now that the family is home, be aware of the following reality: your baby is a shrieking monster that exists only to spray feces all over your sleep cycle. remember that you love the thing and that once it comes out you're no longer allowed to murder it. thanks, government
if only you'd adopted a child that was potty-trained, this all could have been avoided, goatmeister.
Ironicwarcriminal posted:do you love your child Goatstein?
ya
Goethestein posted:the vast majority of children given up for adoption are babies and thus not potty trained.
it's much easier to adopt kids that are older bc they're in less demand.
Cycloneboy posted:Goethestein posted:
the vast majority of children given up for adoption are babies and thus not potty trained.
it's much easier to adopt kids that are older bc they're in less demand.
especially homeschooled ones
"oh great, we're gonna have to teach him how to use a goddamn toilet"
Ironicwarcriminal posted:Well homeschool kids are the human equivalent of fax machines and no-one’s buying them anymore
i did not read your post, then write and post a response within 14 seconds, iwc. a little full of ourselves, are we?
Cycloneboy posted:Ironicwarcriminal posted:
Well homeschool kids are the human equivalent of fax machines and no-one’s buying them anymore
i did not read your post, then write and post a response within 14 seconds, iwc. a little full of ourselves, are we?
don't hate me because i'm beautiful
tpaine posted:discipline posted:
I had a dream last night that I was suddenly the female jong-il heir to north korea
i had a dream that a hamburger was eating me!!
now that's a burger- you DONT want to burgle!
Cycloneboy posted:i had a dream that no one ever posted about their dreams bc no one cares fuck.
the second most famous speech in american history was a dream journal
Cycloneboy posted:i had a dream that no one ever posted about their dreams bc no one cares fuck.
please dont dreamshame
ggw posted:
thats true
thirdplace posted:Cycloneboy posted:i had a dream that no one ever posted about their dreams bc no one cares fuck.
the second most famous speech in american history was a dream journal
different kind of dream, dumbass.