#1
i am told that one of the earliest clay tablets we have from sumeria (or was it akkadia?) is actually a beer recipe. maybe this too is descended from the people who left barley in its stores to ferment. at that point maybe it was more of a mash than a proper beer, idk

one of the oldest human drinks, also bearing the benefit of being fairly safe to consume in an era when a lot of water was unsafe

anyway im slightly tore up on this kind of water, in the absence of the clean kind from the tap where i am

tldr let's drink and talk about the archaeology of alcohol with as much or as little authoritativeness or accuracy as you please
#2
#3
How can we even imagine the cultural realm without alcoholic beverages? Though some religions and nations ban alcohol altogether, thus defining themselves in opposition to it, alcohol is known and used everywhere, and of widespread importance in ritual, ceremony, and celebration. "Their preeminence and universal allure, what might be called their biological, social, and religious imperatives, make them significant in understanding the development of our species and its cultures," states anthropologist Patrick E McGovern, who has identified alcohol residues in 9000 year old pottery shards. "Our species intimate relationship with fermented beverages over millions of years has, in large measure, made us what we are today." Most people seem to enjoy manipulating our gift and burden of consciousness, and do so by whatever means available. Alcohol has been far and away the most widely available and widely used intoxicant.

We do not know the origins of alcohol. The alcohol that Professor McGovern identified from the neolithic settlement of Jiahu in China was made from a mixture of rice, honey, and fruit. It would appear these early human alcohol makers were combining available carbohydrate and yeast sources, hoever they might have conceptualized the process. Is it possible that, ratehr than humans discovering alcohol and mastering its production, we evolved always already knowing it? Anthropologist Mikal John Aasved points out that all vertebrate species are equipped with a hepatic enzyme system withwhich to metabolize alcohol.

Many animals have been documented consuming alcohol in their natural habitats. One of them, a daily consumer of alcohol in the malaysian jungle, is the pentailed treeshrew (Ptilocercus lowii tpaine). Interestingly, this mammal is considered to be the morphologically least-derived living descendant of early ancestors of primates, regarded as a living model for the ancestral lineage from which primates radiated. The alcohol these tree-shrews consume occurs naturally on the bertram palm, on specialized flower buds that harbor a fermenting yeast community. And the treeshrews are pollinators for the bertram palm. This tree, its pollinating shrews, and the fermenting yeast community all coevolved this arrangement together. It would be absurd to think og one species as the primary actor in this mutualistic commune.

As the primate family diverged from tree shrews, it lost such highly specialized alcohol laced relationships. But our primate and humanoid ancestors presumably ate lots of fruit, which ferments when ripe, especially quickly in the warm and wet jungle climate. Biologist Robert Dudley theorizes that our precursors were routinely exposed to alcohol in fruit, and that this exposure in turn elicited corresponding physiological adaptations and preferences over an evolutionary time scale that are retained in modern humans.

While alcohol is present in fruits at low concentrations compared with alcoholic beverages, the fleeting availability of seasonal fruits encourages gorging. Addiction researcher Ronald Siegel describes animals responding to fallen, split, fermenting durian fruits in Malaysia:

"A menagerie of jungle beasts, alerted by the ripening odor, parade to the fallen fruit. Elephants that may have migrated from great distances sometimes gorge themsevles on the fermented fruit remaning on the ground. They start swaying in a lethargic manner. The monkeys frequently lose motor coordination, have difficulty climbing, and start head shaking. The flying foxes, the largest bats in the world and have the same tastes as humans, feed at night mostly on fermented and rotten fruit which fouls the bats sonar, thus causing navigational difficulties; the bats keep falling down and waddling on the ground."
#4
a flying fox is when you take your pet fox and you spin around and around holding the fox out with your hands. They have a name for it because its impossible for a fox to get dizzy
#5
beer.. does it every time
#6
#7
#8
How can we even imagine the cultural realm without child abuse? Though some religions and nations ban child abuse altogether, thus defining themselves in opposition to it, child abuse is known and used everywhere, and of widespread importance in anger problems, wealthy pedophile rings, and alcoholism. "People passing violence and degradation down to their own kids, makes child abuse significant in understanding the development of our species and its cultures," states anthropologist Patrick E McGovern, who has identified depictions of child abuse in 9000 year old pottery shards. "Our species intimate relationship with child abuse over millions of years has, in large measure, made us what we are today." Many people seem to enjoy manipulating their gift and burden of children, and do so by whatever means available. Child abuse has been far and away the most widely available and widely used means of lashing out at something truly helpless.
#9
How can we even imagine the cultural realm without alcoholic beverages? How can we imagine Western society without alcohol? Without beer? Without wine?

Where is the alcohol a man is drunk with and where are his friends?

Where is the wine a man is drunk with and where are his friends?

The Kingdom of Heaven is in Me!

I'll get back to drinking shortly, but first, I want to explain how my definition of healthy is different than what many others consider healthy.

Healthy is defined as having a health-promoting lifestyle.

That is, you live a healthful lifestyle such that the above criteria are met. Not only are you having a good meal, a good night's sleep after plenty of drink. Hint:

Drink it.

It doesn't matter what it is! It might be champagne, whiskey, vodka, wine. The point is you get drunk at the end of the night, it doesn't matter what you drink! Be my guest, but be sooooo drunk you barely remember the rest of the night!

- talk to transformer