"Hi there,

"Recently, women have come forward to accuse me of various degrees of sexual assault. These allegations are all true. I did force women to watch me masturbate; I did grope women against their will; I did manipulate women by pinning the success or failure of their career to their compliance with my demands. Even claims against me with little substantiation are all true. In fact, the claims don't go far enough. I also hurt many women who have not come forward to accuse me. Others among my accusers have downplayed our interactions as harassment or assault, when what I did was closer to, or in fact, rape. I used my fame to become a mostly nonviolent rapist.

"There is no chance of contrition for what I've done. The trauma I caused to these women's lives can never be healed. But the alternative to seeking contrition is to use the same old strategies to earn a living that brought me here today. Making a living pleasing bigots and misogynists - allowing the misogynist hide of our culture to protect me from the people I've hurt - these would make me worse than a rapist. I would be a rape salesman. I would be an advertisement to misogynist men, getting them to think aspirationally about sexual assault: do good in life, and raping a few women won't derail things. Heck, society will round up some female friends to go to bat for you.

"So instead of capitalizing on my misogynist posture, I'm going to let this be my "rock bottom" and spend the rest of my life atoning.

"I have asked my attorneys to hasten all impending trial dates, where I will be requesting the judge award all damages sought by plaintiffs against me. I will then ask for the maximum possible punishment for each of my crimes. Once in jail, I'll decline to seek parole at any opportunity. This step is not taken in hope of my personal reformation, but to protect the women I've attacked from encountering me by chance.

"Having had some advance notice that my time was about up, I gathered a great deal of incriminating evidence on other famous, sexually violent men I've worked with. Not only that, but my team arranged an elaborate Chris Hansen type honeypot for some of the most notorious unpunished rapists in entertainment. You'll get that Laserdisc-quality video (and here I have to thank our editors. We had the most incredible editors and they worked so. hard.) on Monday morning so it dominates more of the news cycle. I won't just be playing the hits, either. I remembered a guy who walked in on me fondling an unconscious woman, gave me a wink and took off - well, we figured out what night that was, and got ahold of the venue's shift calendar, and now, guess what buddy, your name's on the list. And although you might not go to jail (for accessory to rape), a lot of guys on the list will.

"Aside from removing myself and a number of other wealthy rapists from society, what else can I do to start fighting bigotry? Well, that's where you come in. Yes, you, reading this letter. I want you to do whatever it takes to make an example out of me. If you can find some way to increase my suffering, don't hold back. I can do the most good for the world as a precedent for any man who thinks they can get away with rape, sexual coercion, and verbal misogyny. And if the government, the police, the courts, or any other agency does not leap at this chance to dramatically redefine our culture's response to rape, then they are pro-rape.

"Aside from pleading guilty, these will be the last words I speak.

Edited by swampman ()

good start, could use a paragraph explaining the biological uselessness of men and an endorsement of societies that cut them up
I am ashamed to say I used to believe everything they said about Michael Jackson.

Petrol posted:

I am ashamed to say I used to believe everything they said about Michael Jackson.

don't be ashamed its safer to assume the worst regarding the wealthy and powerful

I thought Jackson was chemically castrated by his dad or something.
moonwalker was a classic we do not talk down on the man who inspired that game