#1
I'm doing my end of year retrospective where I pirate all the movies that got released over the year, then watch them mostly at fast speed or skipping the boring parts. One of these movies hit me with a closeup of a child's severed head with ants eating it. Then the next one showed me two different people with their faces ripped off. Then the next one had a hyper realistic shot of a guy crushing another guy's skull in his hands and his eyeball pops out. Now I'm watching Sense and Sensibility (1995) and cackling at Mrs Jenning's outrageous loose tongue, hoping she is not about to be pinned in front of a semi truck and smeared down the on-ramp for absolutely no reason. Hey movie directors: what is going on?! I mean, seriously?? Knock it off already!!
#2
People keep asking for “dark and gritty” cus it is for le intellectuals.
#3
theyre badass
#4
there's a really good scene in Friday The 13th Part 3 (3D) where jason crushes some guys skull and his eyeball pops out towards the screen lol
#5
#6

swampman posted:

One of these movies hit me with a closeup of a child's severed head with ants eating it.


In retrospect, the unnecessary duration of that shot was a big red flag that the ending was going to be really dumb and terrible.

#7
What movie was that
#8
watching movies is for nerds
#9

dimashq posted:

What movie was that


Why? Because you intend to seek out pictures of mutilated children?

#10
chiming in to say, i also want to watch the decapitated child movie
#11
chiming in to say, i also want to watch the decapitated child movie
#12

swampman posted:

dimashq posted:

What movie was that

Why? Because you intend to seek out pictures of mutilated children?


#13

dimashq posted:

What movie was that


Paddington 2.

#14

swampman posted:

dimashq posted:

What movie was that

Why? Because you intend to seek out pictures of mutilated children?



to put it on the front page of the rhizzone

#15
For once I'd like to download a movie called something like "Evisceration Road 2: Blood to the Bone" and discover its about how scientists are declaring that the joy derived from sharing your food with a hungry person is now the official SI unit of human happiness
#16
My picks for good movies of 2018
- A Simple Favor (2018)
- Loving Vincent (2017)
- Unsane (2018)
and that's it. the rest of them sucked royal ass.
#17
my picks for good movies of 2018:

#18
i didn't watch any movies in 2018
#19
Great thanks for your question or comment
#20
o wait i saw sorry to bother you. good movie. best movie i saw all year
#21

swampman posted:

My picks for good movies of 2018
- Loving Vincent (2017)



downvoted for historical inaccuracy

#22
edit: damnn im like 2 weeks late on a joke... ahh shit, ah hell

Edited by ilmdge ()

#23
'most damp surfaces' and 'most face-touching' 2018 oscars will for the fifth year running, go to 'hard to be a god'
#24

toyotathon posted:

'most damp surfaces' and 'most face-touching' 2018 oscars will for the fifth year running, go to 'hard to be a god'


that movie is incredibly cool

#25
movies are terrible aren't they, especially violent Ones
#26
Robocop is the best movie of all time, sorry for you're loss OP
#27
Fuck you alien and aliens are masterpieces.
#28

Populares posted:

Fuck you alien and aliens are masterpieces.


Alien is better than Aliens.

#29
These movies are kind of goofy... I mean, aliens aren't real..
#30
what's goofy, is that walmart bought out weyland-yutani. and that rod blagojevich was ripley's lawyer
#31
I remember turning the tv on once as a kid and like resident evil or something was on and after the first 10 seconds bkth my dad and uncle were like "why the fuck do americans love violence so much"
#32
#33
in high school i actually threw up on a beige carpet while watching the first few minutes of saw 3, took the dvd out and broke it in half. it was a rental from blockbuster which soon went out of business for good. i scattered the remains of the movie in the abandoned parking lot. the movie made me do it
#34
I think a good example of what I'm talking about is Wolf Hall. It's a show about average British people falling in and out of friendship and love, and the difficulty of raising children under (I presume?) Theresa May's government. Then suddenly at the end of episode six, bamn, there's Adam Driver cutting off Anne Boleyn's head for some reason. Totally gratuitous and not how normal people solve their problems.
#35

swampman posted:

Then suddenly at the end of episode six, bamn, there's Adam Driver cutting off Anne Boleyn's head for some reason. Totally gratuitous and not how normal people solve their problems.


I don't know what this show is but you better not be talking shit about our good friend Louisette, who has shown you can solve a lot of problems by cutting people's heads off.

#36
Thanks for sucking the holy joy from out my comical film review. No, you doofus, they chopped Boleyn with a epee. Driver ressemblait à Conflit de Nuage avec Dernier fantaisie sept
#37
My review of both Venom (2018) and Upgrade (2018)